Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Week 4 thoughts and The Levee Locks10/3. YTD:12-9.

It is a bit early to be so brash and throw out the locks of the week on a mere Tuesday evening, but in reality when you read this it will be Wednesday, even actually Thursday in Tonga and Fiji, where more than a few outriggers of NCAA football talent have descended from. So because of an early wheels up beckoning, and no guarantee of internet access in Northern Mexico, The Levee has selected its locks and jumped on early favorable lines and we recommend you do the same. But first let us quickly recap week 4 and the illegitimate child it threw into last weeks seemingly “happy marriage.”

Penn St. v. Iowa – How has Joe Pa angered Hawkeye nation so much to the point that 2 years running they have ruined what are supposed to be his golden years?

Cal v. Oregon – What a better way to follow up a Heisman type performance by a Jahvid Best than to go get humiliated by the wounded Ducks of Oregon. Only way it could have been worse is if some Berkley Bear hippie found themselves KO’d after the game and it not having been the result of falling out of a giant Redwood or a green tea overdose.

Texas Tech v. UH – The Levee said it would be a battle between oneself and what that one see's in the mirror. And it was, now Houston’s Cougars have that feel of a team jumping in the HOV lane on I-10, but with not enough passengers. They are speeding ahead like Cole Trickle, before the wreck and brain tremors. Mike Leach and his system met its match by way of a bunch of commuters that can flat out play ball. The fallout of this mess for Tech has been nothing short of awesome to sit back and watch. Since the game Leach has forced a few players to walk the plank that he might very soon find himself peering over the edge of.

Miami v. VA Tech – Honeymoons over Canes. Who would have thought that a bunch of hurricanes would have been so inept in a driving rain?

Let us now take a look at week 5. Conference play is coming into full swing and Barry O just announced that Cash for Victories is out of money, shocker. But you know who still has cash, is the books, and since The Levee decided not to participate in this recession, we feel obligated to go out and get more of it. Last weeks unworldly 5-2 mark has The Levee sitting at 12-9 YTD, that’s a winning percentage of 57%, remember little peons at 54% you are winning money, so be grateful and listen when daddy speaks. Here are some games to keep an eye on. Do what you will with the information provided.

1- Trina:

Washington +13.5 v. Notre Dame – ND wins this game outright, but not by two TD’s. Washington will use this next high profile game, since beating USC, to send a message that they are not a one hit wonder.

LSU +3 v. Georgia – LSU got caught looking ahead to UGA last week versus a determined, nothing to lose Miss St. team. With Florida, Bama and Ole Miss ahead LSU knows it’s either now or never to figure things out. If DoLes with more Miles can stay out of his own team’s way, LSU should win outright. The bayou bengals currently have more talent than UGA, and just need to handle a pressure packed, nationally televised SEC game. Again, as previously stated, LSU wins despite of Miles.

Texas Tech -35 v. New Mexico – Tech’s shortfalls have been well documented, and a mutiny might well be in the works, but Tech saw what Texas A&M did to the Lobos and will do whatever it takes to not be outscored by the lowly Aggie offense against the same defense. New Mexico has suffered both physical and emotional injuries lately and that’s just between coaches. This is a battle of who can hold it together longer. Tech will score at will.

2 – Trinas:

Alabama -15 v. Kentucky – Bama might be the best team in the country. And with Ole Miss looking so “poor” against South Carolina, Alabama need not fret Ole Miss, and won’t have a big game until the first week of Nov. when they square off against Florida. Alabama Quarterback McElroy has proven to be about as adequate as the great John Parker Wilson, meaning he doesn’t win games for the Tide, but equally he doesn’t lose games for the Tide. Alabama’s defense is as legit as The Levee suspected it to be about 6 weeks ago. Look for Bama to make a statement that they are the SEC’s bell cow team. Lord knows Saban is always looking for a chance to make a statement.

Ole Miss -8 v. Vandy – Disregard the “poor” Ole Miss comment above for this game against Vandy. And thanks Commodores for the ride, you’ve proven your worth and it’s been fun, but The Rebs will hand it to you on Saturday. Snead has had plenty of time to remember what color uniforms his team wears, remember he did play at Texas for a year, and that can be confusing to a young man, so look for high percentage passes. McCluster should be more involved in the offense and the Ole Miss defense is what’s holding them together right now. A classic battle of brains versus bankrolls should be entertaining. Ole Miss by at least two touch downs.

VA Tech – 13 v. Duke – Tech does not experience the hang over after a huge win. QB Tyrod Taylor is finding his groove and feels he has more to prove than a one time dethroning of Miami. The Hookies build off the momentum from last week and put Duke back in its football place.

Houston – 14 v. UTEP – See synopsis directly above and replace Tech/Hookies with Houston/Cougars and replace Duke with UTEP.

The pencils in Vegas are getting sharper; lines are finally getting to that point of justification on either side. You could sit on the sideline and watch and wish, or you could put yourself in the arena, exposing yourself to the possibility of both glory and defeat, the choice is yours, but no one wants to hear from that d-bag that claims he was going to do this or that, but……

So with that said remember this, in 125 years every single person living on the planet will be dead.

The Levee is not pessimistic, but realistic and sometimes the two get convoluted.

Here’s to champagne wishes and caviar dreams

The Levee's top 8 "Less than desired" moments in College Football, that have little to do with the game.

In the wake of recent college football goings on, let us take a look at some of the more, head scratching, what the hell were you thinking and damn your screwed, moments in college football and see how those of yester year stack up with those of yesterday/week.

In no particular order here is a compilation of oddities that have occurred on and of the field of our beloved college football.

1. The 1954 Cotton Bowl. Rice vs. Alabama – Bama bench warmer comes of the bench and tackles Rice’s half-back on what would have been a guaranteed touchdown run.

2. the Ohio State’s Woody Hayes literally trying to dot the “eye” of a Clemson defender during a game for the whole world to see. Essentially the only thing that Woody really punched was his own pink slip.

3. 1981 - Texas A&M Officer of the day, going Blackbeard on an unsuspecting SMU cheerleader. Somewhere in a Bud-heavy/pot haze a young Mike Leach was drawing inspiration.

4. 2003 Mizzou pulls the up-set over Nebraska at home and one Tiger fan wishes he would have stayed in the stands where fans are put for a reason. Kellen Hustun throws that punch that every male bar fly dreams of at some point. You know the one where the other guy is smaller, not looking and inebriated.

5. 2001, the High Plains near Lubbock Texas, the Red Raiders had just pounded a team they were favored to beat, by the unmerciful score of 12-0. So naturally the Tech fans tore down their goalposts and proceeded to march them across the field. To no ones surprise a brawl would ensue and from that day forward Texas Tech and their ineptness was known now not only to Texans but to an entire nation. Guns up!

6. The punch seen ‘round the world. Lagarrette Blunt goes Rocky Marciano on some Boise St. bench heater and at the same time officially ruins his chances of ever using football to better his already troubled life.

7. New Mexico new head man, Mike Locksley, got into a “heated argument” with wide receivers coach, Johnathan Gerald, resulting in Gerald suffering a ruffled lapel and a busted lip. There is no word on what caused the flare up, but having seen them play, the receiver routes are far from the Lobo’s main problem. Perhaps Coach Locksley has a phobia of men with two first names.

8. Back to the High Plains. Texas Tech coach Mike Leach has banned all twittering and other similar social networking abilities of his players. This came after a LB tweeted from a team meeting wondering why he had to be there when “the head coach can’t even be on time.” Said LB'er is no longer on the team. And local village idiot, Brandon Carter, has been suspended indefinitely for tweeting about the season not going as he had suspected. So painting your face like a 12yr old going as a Goth tranny for Halloween is normal, but loosing a few football games isn’t?

No doubt there are many more oddities and infamous moments that have taken place over the years, but based on regional biased these are what came out on top. If you are wondering where the Stanford/Cal band play is, please don’t ever look at this bog again.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Levee Locks 9/26. YTD: 7-7

Breaking news on the Sportscenter ticker, Ole Miss QB Jevan Sneed asking for a release from his scholarship and hoping to transfer, again. Just kidding, don’t get your seersuckers in a bunch Reb fans. But after last nights pitiful showing he might be wishing he was still Colt’s back-up or even wishing he had stayed with his original commitment where he’d be backing up Tebow right now, but who knows. As expected South Carolina put it all on the table last night and beat a clearly over rated #4 Ole Miss squad. An exciting game to start, what on paper, is not such an exciting weekend of college football, but we shall see. It was brought to The Levee’s attention that last week we were in fact 4-2 not 5-1, there were some line discrepancies in the LSU v. ULL game. So to you, that pointed out the error, thanks and now please go pick up that dry cleaning. That brings us to 7-7 on the year. 50% not bad at all, but to break even one needs to hit ~54% of their plays, to cover the juice. Let us now get straight into this weeks Levee’s Locks.

1 Trina:

Minnesota +1 v. Northwestern – Minn gave the #6 ranked Cal Bears fits last week for 3.5 quarters. Unless Gary Barnett is back in Chicago pulling miracles out of his wallet, I think the Golden Gophers win this game outright.

Tennessee -21 v. Ohio – Lane Kiffin and his Vols proved a lot last week, and he managed to do it without opening his mouth, at least publically for 60 minutes during their game at Florida. Yes they lost, but they stood toe to toe with the consensus #1 team in the land for 4 quarters. At times showing more athleticism and toughness than the Gators. Tenn. is still a year or two away, but they will give every opponent all they want this year.

Texas A&M -13.5 v. UAB – Last week a blown call that would have given the Ags first and goal from the 1, which ultimately resulted in a punt, and the 2nd team defense giving up a touchdown in the waning minutes of the 4th quarter would have had the Ags covering with points to spare. A&M will be without the services of phenom WR Jeff Fuller, out ~6 weeks with a broken fibula, but if there is ever such thing as a stable of unproven young WR’s, the Ags have one. UAB’s QB Joe Webb will be the factor; he can do it all and will have to for the Blazers to put up a good showing at Kyle Filed. Look for the Ags to try to get all the kinks out before facing Arkansas and then the gauntlet of the Big XII South.

Southern Miss +14 v. Kansas – KU struggled for 3 quarters last week with Duke at home. The final score truly does not reflect the plight of this game. If you don’t believe in off the field distractions, you might start now, twice over the last week the KU football team has tussled with the KU basketball team in exhibitions of mass fisticuffs. Talk about severe little brother syndrome, learn your place football team, no banners = no mouth running. They deserve your girls right now.

Ball State +33 v. Auburn – Don’t know much here other than 33 points is a lot of points. 35-0 looks good until that last second “meaningless” touchdown for the Cardinals in mop up time.


2 Trinas:

Vanderbilt -7 v. Rice – Vandy covered on the road in Baton Rouge and this line has gone down 4 points in Rice’s favor. Public, you didn’t let me down last week so let’s not start this week. Fade the public here and go 2 units on Vandy.

Florida State -12 v. South Florida – Fla. State’s QB Ponder is as quality a dual threat quarter back you could hope for in most cases. And on the flip side, South Florida’s QB Matt Grothe is out, not sure if it’s an injury or they just realized he’s been there for 7 years. Either way look for the Noles to try and make a statement to in-state prospects that although it’s not South Florida, Tallahassee is nice and it comes with free shoes and a fill in exam taker.

Funny in a week of “less than desired” match-ups The Levee was able to find 7 to play. But hey you can’t spell degenerate without rent, as in rents due, so let’s make some coin!

Here’s to champagne wishes and caviar dreams!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

If life is like a box of chocolates and you have a nut allergy…..Week 4 is the chocolate covered cashews.

After 3 solid weeks of exciting match-ups, meaningful early conference games and a slew of story lines this weekends slate leaves a bit to be desired. It was bound to happen; we can’t be lucky enough to have Colorado at Toledo type games every week now can we? This week’s TV games will however promise to be better watching than whatever marathon HGTV is airing all day Saturday for sure. You’ll find some decent games scattered around the country but not on the scale of last week. In fact one of the better games is going to be played tonight when Ole Miss travels to Columbia SC to see if their #4 ranking fits. The Rebs are good but severely untested and have meandered up the polls by simply letting those ranked higher lose and fall by the wayside. But hey don’t blame them; they just go as their schedule dictates. So let us now take a look at week 4 and some match-ups of intrigue, with a little window dressing and insight tossed in.

Ole Miss v. South Carolina – As previously stated, the Rebs are good but highly untested. Spurrier will pull it all out tonight and try to get the Gamecocks their first SEC victory of ’09. While Ole Miss will be looking to send a message to the rest of the SEC that they can go on the road, win in a tough environment and substantiate that top 5 ranking. With Spurrier’s GameCocks and Nutt’s Rebs, this guarantees to be a swinging good time.

Miami v. VA Tech – Both teams are feeling pretty good and carry good rankings coming into Saturdays contest. Especially Miami, they have been the flavor of the month from coast to coast since beating FSU at home and feel good riding the arm of Jacory Harris. And on the other side you’ve got VA Tech coming off a last second win against Nebraska feeling QB Tyrod Taylor might be putting it all together. This is the classic, centerfold versus the girl that didn’t quite have the waist-to-hip ratio to be a centerfold but still got a 3 page layout, match-up.

Arkansas v. Alabama - Good SEC West match-up between divisional favorite and divisional season killer. Arkansas put up good but not good enough numbers last week versus Georgia, while Alabama has really only been tested once, in week 1 versus VA Tech. Arkansas is in a tough part of their schedule that has them playing the #3, #1 and #4 ranked teams in a 5 week period. Plus an old rivalry renewal against Texas A&M mixed in. Bama won’t get caught looking ahead to Kentucky and would like to give the village something to be idiotic about.

Iowa v. Penn St. – Iowa ruined Joe Pa’s dreams of perfection last season. Outside of that, this seems like a good time to get that yard work done you’ve been putting off. Regardless of whether or not the score is 6-3 or 56-49, the Big 10 should be sponsored by Ambien CR, because not only will it put you to sleep, but it will also keep you asleep. Plus it’s fun to play “spot the hottie” when they pan the crowd and that game doesn’t last long in the Big 10.

Texas Tech v. Houston – This game offers up two teams that have a striking resemblance to one another, quick strike offenses and bend but don’t break defenses. A UH win would add another large feather in the Cougs hat, having already knocked off Big XII South contender Oklahoma State earlier this year. It will be interesting to see if the Red Raiders can shake off the tough loss last week in Austin and carry some of that momentum into H-town. With another 9:15 pm kick-off, which is ideal for Leach and his happy hour fetish, it looks like the Sunday sports page will be needed to aid in the analysis of this one.

Cal v. Oregon – Cal has one of the best RB’s in the country in Jahvid Best, and is now in the cat-bird seat of the Pac 10 with USC falling last week. Oregon is looking to make amends for their deflowering at the hands of Boise State and get a much needed home conference win. But with Lagarrete Blunt not suiting up for the Ducks, thus insuring that the only hitting will be legal, this might be a “catch the highlights on Sportscenter” type of game.

UTEP v. Texas – Will the Horns fall victim to the much over used “hang-over” game scenario? Not a chance, but hey since Y’all are Texas why don’t You try covering a spread this season.

As you can see week 4 gave us a bunch of lemons, so on the advice of many bumper stickers, we made lemonade, but remember there is always action to be had, so check back tomorrow to see if The Levee can stay hot and keep riding winners.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Remote control domination....agian.

Week 3 of NCAA Football got the memo and carried the torch dutifully by providing high quality entertaining action from beginning to, way too late PAC 10 late game, end. For some reason it’s always the early/afternoon games that are able to be recalled play by play as if you were there, where now the 6pm and later games on the other hand are more a hodgepodge of sequences, separated by brief interludes of joy or disgust, that are then randomly strung together in no real particular order. Thank goodness for DVR, the internet and the early Sunday sports page. However it works out for you, there is a universal truth, complete mastery of the remote control is crucial. Without looking, the ability to hit “last” and “exit” in succession, get the score and repeat are imperative. Equally vital is being able to mash 4-3-2 while never loosing eye contact with your Vizio, instead of mistakenly mashing 7-6-5 and your mother-in-law wondering why we are trying to pay per view “Naughty Secretaries.” When really your intention was to get back to ABC for the Mussberger/McCoy make-out hour. What it boils down to is that complete sovereignty in your football viewing environment is a crucial half of the battle. Regardless of whether your team wins or loses, if some A-hole has high jacked the magic wand and you find yourself watching 300 in your own home on a Saturday afternoon, you my friend, are the only looser! With that let’s look back on some of week 3’s action.

That 11am Big 10 game that has been much maligned on The Levee turned out to be a great one. Minnesota v. Cal not only provided good action and heavy hitting throughout, but it also showcased one of the nation’s best running backs in Cal’s Jahvid Best. Best had 5 TD’s, look for him and the Berkley Bears to be the PAC 10 favorite from here out....

....which is the perfect segue to the Washington v. USC game. The Trojan(s) sprung a leak and we all know only bad things can result from this. In a classic pupil beats mentor game, USC went to Seattle and lost to a team that won as many games last year as VMA Video of the year awards Beyonnce won in ’09.

Tennessee went to the Swamp and pushed Florida to the very end. While it was mostly an ugly game on both sides, the Gators were 28.5 point favorites but a lopsided thrashing never even began to formulate. Once the line wasn’t in jeopardy, most people were more interested to see the post-game hand shake between coaches. It went without incident, but the war of words was “on” again as soon as each coach could get behind the safety of a microphone. Very fitting for the SEC, keep up the class fellows.

One or all of these next statements is true, you decide: 1) Tulsa is a bad football team 2) Landry Jones is an adequate QB 3) Bob Stoops never forgot how to embarrass lesser opponents at home in front of big money alumni.

Nebraska and Bo Pelini look like they might be closer to being “back” than many thought. Tough last second loss to V. Tech, but a confidence booster no doubt.

Georgia and Arkansas put on an offensive clinic, while the defenses were what some people refer to as exposed. 3 weeks, 3 different opponents and 3 different UGA football teams. Arky gets Bama next weekend and then over to the Meadowlands West, in Arlington TX, for a renewed rivalry with old SWC foe Texas A&M.

Texas and T. Tech lived up to the hype. Tech hung in there and left some wondering if Texas is playing like a #1 or #2 team in the nation.

Texas A&M put up huge offensive numbers again, but out of triumph came tragedy when they lost their best WR to a broken leg. Jeff Fuller is expected to miss up to 6 weeks. Look For Uzoma "EZ" Unoihavenoclue (#7) to step up; he did have 4 TD’s on 4 touches last Saturday. The Aggies of Texas gave up way too many yards and points to the Aggies of Utah State. Conversely the Utah St. Aggies would probably say the same thing. Hope the Aggies of Texas saved some of that offense, because they will need it in two weeks against Arkansas.

Oh by the way those that questioned The Levee’s handicapping skills how do you feel about 5-1? Look, it might not make you prettier, but it’ll make you feel prettier. And that’s all that matters. 8-6 for the year, check back on Friday for some more games of interest.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Levee Locks 9/19. YTD: 3-5

Okay so things didn’t go as planned last week. That's why it's called gambling not winning and fishing not catching or even sometimes it's just sex and not making love, there is never a guarantee of a happy ending. There is however a guarntee of plenty of season left, so don't go hawking your golf clubs or your shotguns just yet. Here are a few games to look into for the week of 9/19.

1 Trinas:

Colorado -7 v. Wyoming – Yes we shot and skinned the buffs in previous posts, actually twice but they fully deserved it both times. The line has dropped ~3 points so we are going to fade the public here and assume Wyoming left it all out there against Texas last week.

UConn +10 v. Baylor – This opened at 7 and has been bet up to 10, again I have no faith in you, the public, so we are taking the points here.

ULL + 27 v. LSU – This is for the simple fact that LSU hasn’t covered yet, ULL is coming off a huge win over Kansas St. which gave them confidence that they could play with the big boys. Simmer down tiger fan, I am not saying KSU = LSU, but KSU does = Vandy and LSU couldn’t cover the 15 against them.

2 Trinas:

UCLA -11.5 v. Kansas St. – This opened at 14 and apparently John Q. Public didn’t hear about KSU’s loss in Lafayette last weekend and have bet this number down to 11.5. Big, fancy, nice, pretty, expensive things are in Vegas, because they know how to make the money, not in Manhattan Kansas by some hay seed not willing to give up on his Wildcats.

Texas – 17.5 v. Texas Tech – There will be over 100K at the stadium and Texas is looking to avenge last year’s heart breaker. Tech lost the only two guys that kept them in last years game, one is apprenticing as future CFL MVP and the other left millions on the table, on the advice of a family member/agent, to sit out a year and get re-drafted. Did no one learn anything from Ricky Williams using Master P as an agent?!

Stanford -17 v. San Jose St. – Stanford easily covered this same number in week 1 versus Washington St. I am going on a limb thinking Wazzou is better than SJS.

Here’s to champagne wishes and caviar dreams!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Parody want a cracker?

So if picking winners were easy, everyone would do it right? But it’s not, however if The Levee’s advice had been followed, you would have been -1 unit on the 1-Trinas, -4 units on the 2-Trinas and +3 units on the 3-Trinas, for a net -2 units. Okay, so you would still have been in the red, and now you have to take the old lady to El Chico instead of Morton’s this week due to losses incurred and a diminishing net worth. It’s a long season, deal with it, in fact according to Chairman of the Fed Ben Bernanke the recession is “technically” over. What the hell does that mean Ben? Isn’t technically usually the precursor to something you don’t want to hear? Think about the last time someone began a comment with “technically”. It was probably followed with something the likes of, “________, yes I do posses the skills that would allow me to set you up with free movie channels and pay per view, but it might cost me my job w/ Comcast.” See bad news. But hey at least when the wife asks if you asked for it, you can tell her “technically I asked the cable guy, but ____ was being a snatch and something about loosing his job, whatever, I quit listening at technically.” See more bad news in a statement started with “technically.” But I digress. Let us get back to what matters most, let us get back to College Football. Like every year, although we act completely blindsided when it happens, ol Miss Parody has once again made her way into this season. She has gone the way of Mathew McConaughey and surfaced at way to many games, and it’s only week two! It started when the Steve “I’m only here for my Augusta Country Club membership” Spurrier led Gamecocks mustered a coma inducing 7 points against the State school of North Carolina, yet still got the W. That was followed by the Kimbo Slicing that occurred after Boise St. had their way with the PAC 10 title dreaming Duck’s of Oregon. Then Colorado State goes into Boulder and whips team Hawkins in front of 50,000 chafed rock climbers. Can you imagine the number of slashed Subaru tires after that one; it’s hard to have all wheel drive with only 3 tires now isn’t it! Syracuse got decent play from ex-Duke point guard Greg Paulus, and actually put some points on the board, they still lost, but they now know that the bulbs for the HOME team score on the scoreboard work, baby steps Cuse, baby steps. The Oklahoma Sooners got manhandled by a bunch of missionaries and lost their main brave in the process. Navy sailed into the Horseshoe and took the “I” dotters to the brink, some think The Tyrelle Pryor was thinking about how well he could have thrived in Rich Rod’s system at Michigan, considering all that extra practice and what not. UGA rolled into Stillwater in the most anticipated matchup of the day and got handled by the Pokes of Oklahoma State. Al Groh and his Virginia Cavaliers managed to lay down to both William and Mary, that won’t sit well in the Commonwealth. So the point should be clear that parody was alive and well right out of the blocks in the ’09 college football season. To drive the point home one need not look further than week two to see team Hawkins once again getting embarrassed, this time at the hands of the mighty Toledo Rockets or Notre Dame getting bested by Michigan, or the Cajuns that Rage in Lafayette serving beer in a college stadium just to insure that everyone was well primed for their victory party over Kansas State, or Oklahoma State following up a triumphant victory over Georgia only to have Houston’s Cougars come into Boone Pickens diorama and hang 45 on them, or a few Levee favorites, Texas unable to cover against Louisiana Monroe or Wyoming and then LSU unable to cover for the second week in a row, in a night game, in Baton Rouge no Les….miles, against the imposing Commodores of Vanderbilt. But at the end of the day aren’t these the reasons we so dutifully tune in week in and week out? Yes it is exactly why; look we all like Miss Parody when she’s skull pounding a rival, but the second she plants her keester on your team’s sideline one Saturday afternoon, while playing Arkansas State, it’s a real kick in the junk, trust us. But she’s also the reason many start twisting lids at noon on Saturday to start feeling right again and also to watch Fresno St. push Wisconsin into overtime, thus solidifying the +8.5 cover! Folks, I have excellent news, we are only half way through September, meaning there are still ~4 months of this insanity left to go. So let’s go Kanye, grab some Hennessey and redirect the spotlight on some of this weeks most intriguing match ups.

Tennessee v. Florida – Lane Kiffin hasn’t exactly endeared himself to Gatornation, accusing Urban Meyer of recruiting violations and then sarcastically referring to the ’09 Gators as probably the best team ever to play college football. Lane, we hope you packed your jean shorts, because the whipping might get deep in The Swamp and you’ll at least want to fit in.

Georgia Tech v. Miami – Attention: Lady’s and Haitian’s, The U is on their way back. After outlasting Coach Bobby “which team are we again” Bowden’s Noles in a thriller, the Canes will take on a solid GT team led by ACC player of the year Jonathan Dwyer. Engineers versus Paroles, should be a good one.

Duke v. Kansas – If Duke’s bigs can get physical on the boards, hit some 3 balls early and keep KU’s transition points to a minimum; the Dukey’s have a chance. Look for The Phog to be brimming with heavy jayhawketes and desperate jaycocks.

Nebraska v. Virginia Tech – 10 years ago in Lincoln and 7 years ago in Blacksburg this would have been a hell of a game, unfortunately neither team could get all their criminals on the field at the same time. There will be plenty of Ramen noodles and Twinkies wagered on this one. Leavenworth might go on lock down.

Rice v. Oklahoma State – Will Oklahoma State get Two-ston’d? That’s 0-2 against Houston area teams, Think Houston Rockets dynasty circa mid 90’s. Or is this Gundy’s cheap way of recruiting the Greater Houston area? As if the hunters blaze orange billboards in Hobby Airport weren’t doing enough.

Louisville v. Kentucky – See Duke/Kansas, but between extra marital affairs and DWI’s this might get testy. If KU wins will Calipari get to keep it? Check back in 5 years.

And now a personal favorite of The Levee:

Texas Tech v. Texas – There was a time when The Levee would have pulled for the Taliban versus the Longhorns, but with the annoyingly strong emergence of over the top Red Raider fan, much due to Barry O’s shovel ready job projects; The Levee finds itself in the proverbial quagmire. But it’s not about The Levee; it’s about Texas University and Texas Technological University. You see on one side you have the self proclaimed Texas elitist and on the other side you’ll find the “I would sell my soul to be a Texas Elitist, but I was hung over for my SAT’s,” crowd. Both equally obnoxious and self righteous and beneath the dim light of a trendy Houston bar equally hard to discern, and as it should come as no surprise, one side likes it that way! This game forges rivalries within many inner circles, roommate against roommate, one pays a mortgage and the other pays him rent; father against son, hey father can only pass on half his genes; boyfriend against girlfriend, look at least she’s hot; boss against employee, self explanatory. So come game day some will don the orange Lacoste while others the black or red, that is understood and goes without saying, but the real question for all will be whether to sport the brown or the black Gucci loafers? Regardless, here’s too a maze of puddles between your SUV’s and the stadium!

Check back to get The Levee’s Locks for 9/19, which should be available at some point tomorrow.

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Levee's Locks 9/12

Gambling has taken a lot of heat over the years; it has reportedly broken fingers, legs, men, families and kept great ball players out of the hall of fame. But like the worlds oldest profession, gambling has stood the test of time. It has weathered years of hand -cuffing legislation while also enduring countless assaults from the “thou shalt not judge” perfect people crowd. For years it required a trip to the Nevada desert as one’s only chance to flip cards, roll dice or take a home dog. Note that did not read to take a dog home, lord knows you don't have to travel that far to accomplish that, just simply a reference to betting on the home team when they are the underdog, if that had you confused you might might to scurry along, JC Penny's is probably having a post-Labor Day sale this weekend or something. However things have changed and between the internet and the frat guy that never wants to fill out a W-2, the sports gaming side of things has become more common place in today’s society. Common place to the tune that some declare it is a multi-billion dollar a year underground thriving enterprise. Do you really think they print the spreads in the Shreveport Times everyday because the sports books in Vegas forgot what the number was on the USC v Ohio St. game? Of course not, they are printed so every 43 year old, 2nd team all district flanker, can peruse the lines, tap into his vast well of football knowledge and make some friendly wagers with said frat guy who is now pushing 40. Mr. Flanker can then roll around from cube to cube in his office talking about his weekends “action” and voice his fear of “the hook” (that’s a half point, Honey) on the Ball State game to his co-workers; claimging to have been screwed by the hook in last years Armed Forces Bowl. When really Mr. Flanker has $30 to win $27 riding on Texas because he went to Southwest Texas State and hung out in Austin on the weekends and he’s only heard of Ball State because he falls asleep to Letterman every night! With all that said, The Levee has seen the best and worst of both sides in this gambling game, much like you would expect from an inanimate object that is designed to keep a bad thing from reaching a good thing, but I digress. The Levee is rolling out The Levee’s Locks, a gamblers guide to staying in your window, praying for a blocked PAT, doubling up on the late PAC 10 game and learning how to do quick math with 3’s, 6’s and 7’s.

Rating system:
1 Trina – Like the game but wouldn’t put over the value of 1 Reggie Bush jersey on it.
2 Trinas – Like the game, worth at least 1 FEMA card, possibly 2.
3 Trinas – I’d grab every Reggie jersey in sight and crawl threw broken glass to do so.

9/12:

1 Trina:
LA Tech
+ 7 v Navy – Navy caught Ohio St. looking ahead to USC. Plus every Mr. Flanker will be on Navy.
Texas – 33.5 v Wyoming – Texas will cover one of these big lines and the Horns get very giddy when OU playmakers go down.
Georgia – 7.5 v South Carolina – South Carolina looked horrible against NC St. but still won and this game will tell you if UGA has any fire left in them after the beatdown in Stillwater.
Syracuse +28.5 v Penn St. – No doubt Penn State wins but over 4 touchdowns is a lot of points. Now that Cuse can actually eat up some clock on O.
Vandy + 15 v LSULSU wins but their D is really that spotty.

2 Trinas:
Notre Dame
-3.5 v Michigan – Don’t think the extra practice will help the Wolverine’s here.
USC – 6.5 v. Ohio St. – USC has too much talent on D and will have Pryor running for his life.

3 Trinas:
TCU -11 v UVA - UVA lost to a D-II school last week. Al Groh might not survive the season. Plus prepy on prepy violence is amusing.

That’s all for this week, but be sure and check back to next week to be convinced of something we know little about.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Personal Financial Advice: Bob Stoops other Achilles Heel, after BCS games of course.

Can someone remind Bob Stoops that he is a football coach and not a life coach? Although as of print time both could be in question. Turns out that not only did the Sooners get embarrassed in what was essentially a home game in Dallas over college footballs first weekend, but they got their Heisman winning QB tomahawked in the process. So now that is two, guaranteed 2009 NFL 1st rounder’s that OU has lost in a total of 1 football game. Jermaine Gresham, out for the season, was the #1 tight end on most draft boards after last season and would have been the first taken in the draft. Sam Bradford would have been the first overall pick by the Detroit Lions instead they had to go with the, newly guaranteed 28 million dollar, millionaire Matt Stafford. How do you say "I’d like to have that one back" in smoke signals?

Bob Stoops issued this gem back in January of ’09:

“They all want to take care of their parents, they want to be able to take care of their family,” Stoops said.
“The second and third round money you’re going to be able to take care of yourself and that’s about it. First round, you’re talking about taking care of yourself and some other people. They want to solidify those positions and be in as strong a position as they can be when they enter the draft.
“So, when you do it that way and you jump draft positions forward, you really make a more significant amount of money and you’re more experienced and prepared for that atmosphere. So they see the value in that, and I appreciate those guys.
“I also think our players recognize the opportunities we have as a program to pursue more championships and that’s something that means a lot to all of us.”
Players who stay in college for four years almost always improve their draft status, barring injuries.
“It’s a lot harder to cut a first-round pick,” Stoops said.


I agree with you coach it is hard to cut a first round pick, in fact when you’re not one, it’s impossible!

College is about preparing for a professional career, if a company or team is willing to pay for your services before you graduate or with elgibility remaining, you should be thankful that you blossomed ahead of your peers and jump at the opportunity. Let’s face it if Deloitte & Touche were offering accounting majors Ken Lay size signing bonuses and salaries after their junior years; they should be encouraged to take it.

The Levee is not denying the importance of a degree; just simply saying big ass yachts are a lot cooler.