40 degrees F and complete cloud cover is not exactly ideal for a laidback Gulf Coast fishing trip. Then when the captain pulls on a full face mask and goggles, actually intended for intense paintball, “It’s going to get a bit cold”, warnings are rendered worthless. And finally when he motions towards the stowage compartments under the platform deck at the bow of the boat as a “good place to curl up” during long runs, one might ask, why make a long run? And nothing can warm a group up like1 fish in 5 hours between 5 anglers, but again like that former fishing guide once said “that’s why it’s called fishing not catching!” Pretty sure that clown is selling homeowners insurance now on the Gulf Coast. We wish you well sir!
So Tiger Woods Inc. is rolling out a new promotional offering, to try and do a little PR damage control and win some fans back into TW’s corner. Phil Mickelson did something similar with Ford a few years back, the Tee it up with Phil campaign. Where basically contestants submitted applications, videos or bogus make-a-wish claims and then the most deserving, the funniest or the phoniest heart tugging applicant wins and gets to play 18 holes with Phil. Well the Tiger camp has taken this idea and Tiger’d it up a little bit. The contestant that can prove that he or she is a bigger piece of fecal ooze than Tiger wins a chance to join Tigers already exxxclusive 3-some. The lucky winner will join Tiger, alleged tryst Holly Sampson and 2nd alleged tryst Joslyn James for a romp around any and all the holes with as many balls as needed. Shoot straight gentlemen!
The Winter Olympiad is upon us, and what a spectacular debacle it has been. Has one country or province (Vancouver) ever crapped the bed this badly this quickly? With still 2 weeks to go let us now look back over the first week and reflect on all that the Canucks should feel vury vury surry abute.
1) Luge course that terrified the world’s greatest luger’s. Obviously for good reason.
*Edt/update 2/18, 10:12am - Bobsledder hospitalized after injury on same sleigh track.
2) Wayne Gretzky’s contraption not coming out of the floor during opening ceremonies (:42 sec, 1:35 and 2:33 marks).The Great One hasn’t looked this confused since he tried to coach instead of play Hockey.
3) Um, the overall lack of snow for the WINTER OLYMPICS.
4) The constant rain and not snow at the WINTER OLYMPICS.
5) Allowing Al Rocker to pass through customs.
6) Allowing the Two man luge to be an event. WTF? As if 1 grown man in brightly colored tights on a sled doesn't raise enough questions, they are now trying to capture the Anderson Cooper demographic.
7) Not insisting that Apolo Anton Ohno shave that little food catcher on his chin before he goes round-n-round with little Asian men in full body tights.
8) Calling Men’s figure skating “Men’s figure skating” there has to be a more appropriate name for these flaming Peacocks. Actually that should be it. PeaCocks on Ice!
And finally we here at The Levee would like to tell the tulip sniffers at Yellow Tail to EAD. If you don’t know what EAD means, go to your local mall and ask the first kid you see with braces and zits.
