L$who falls victim to one of their own, and Mack goes public as NAMBLA's newest spokesman.

Thank you doLes w/ more Miles, you sir have made us here at The Levee look a genius once again. Here lately pundits have given Bobby Bowden a hard time for “maybe” not exactly knowing what is going on during the waning seconds of a game, but you know what you fraud, you are 30 years Bobby’s junior. Your only excuse is what we all have known, and that is that you are a football moron! While watching you douche the Ole Missy game, the thing that added enjoyment to our pleasure, was listening to your Al Gore-ish rationale during the multiple post game interviews; that was absolutely nothing short of football folly purple and gold. It seems the ball boys were the only ones you forgot to blame for your abortion of a coaching job. Michigan is dealing with two consecutive years with a losing record, but you know what, all the Michigan Men around the world will wake up tomorrow grateful that you turned down that job. Here at The Levee, we take no glory in the public flogging of another mortal, but this next week we will enjoy your media lynching.

Can ESPN give Cosro and Holtz their elastic band wrist watches and send them on their way please? These two Social Security thieves need to hire realtors in Flagstaff and start enjoying their golden years. Corso can’t complete a sentence on Gameday anymore, and without the stretch of context clues, no one would have a clue to what he is referencing 80% of the time, and Dr. Lou’s Notre Dame infatuation is borderline a friable offense. Someone please remind him he works for ESPN not NBC, plus the on set camera men or tired of having to wear ponchos in studio!

And while we are at it can someone remind Mack Brown that senior night is a football game not a debutant ball, and that calling timeouts to show your man boy love crush on McCoy, Shipley etc… is not necessary. Mack, if you want to spend that much time in close confines with those two, jump on their bass boat sometime. Because there at best they can only get 18 feet away from you. Plus there will be plenty of poles on board to keep you occupied.

“Talent is hitting a target that no one else can; Genius is hitting a target no one else sees.”

Just die already Maj. hASSHanOLE. The Levee's Locks 11/14. YTD: 24-20

News out of San Antonio is that the whack job Army Psychiatrist, Major Nidal Malik Hasan, who killed and injured dozens of soldiers at Ft. Hood, is currently and going to remain paralyzed from the waist down. That begs only one question……What the $*@& are you going to do with those 72 virgins now you worthless piece of camel dung. May you get a wheel-chair with square wheels and a nasty staph infection to boot. Forgive the rant, just needed to get that off the chest.

It seems like just yesterday it was August and all were eagerly awaiting the upcoming season and the glory that it could hold. Now reality has checked in and ain’t leaving any time soon, so we have had to deal with it accordingly. With that let us take a look at The Levee’s Locks for week 11.

1 Trina:

Neb -3.5 v Kansas – The Jayhawks have lost their last 4 straight up and against the spread. Nebraska is coming off a huge win over OU, having held the Sooners to 3 points. It appears that the Jayhawks have shifted focus to basketball a few weeks early, all though being pre-season #1 might have that affect.

Oklahoma St. – 3.5 v Texas Tech – Just feel like the Pokes are the better team here. Tech is 1-2 on the road and Ok. St. is 4-2 at home. Other than that all we know is that both schools foster coaches with the propensity to indulge in adult beverages and there should be a lot of fun coeds at the game if nothing else.

Clemson -8 v NC State – Clemson was favored by more and won by more to a better FSU team last week. Only thing I can think is the “trap” game with the hated South Carolina Gamecocks right around the corner for the Tigers.

2 Trinas:

Houston – 4.5 v Central Florida – This line jumped out like strange bump in the nether regions. UH has the most prolific offense in football and beat better teams by more points.

By associating with wise people you will become wise yourself – Menander.

Here’s to champagne wishes and caviar dreams!

Is that one, it looks like it's moving........no, that's still the fence post!

No it wasn’t the H1N1 or any other physical ailment that can be blamed for the lack of attention shown to you devoted Levee Lackeys. It was indeed a much more serious condition, one that affects many this time of year. It strikes with full-warning, can become expensive to handle and can provide pure joy or udder defeat. Yes, it was a case of “buck fever”. This bug has bitten many and will for years to come. It will literally drive men crazy, causing them to spend hours upon hours in the truck, alone; hours upon hours in the woods, alone and days upon days at the deer camp, with 3 times the red meat and beer he needs, alone. Many of implement has been made to the once barbaric deer camp, the refrigerator/freezer, the microwave, the electric blanket and the satellite television to name a few, but many, the Smoking A Ranch in particular, are still internet-less. And that explains the neglect. But enough brisket, pulled pork, Coors lights and midnight spins on the mule, with a 1 million candle power spot-light, can make one forget about surfing the web real fast. So to those of you stuck in your concrete jungle this opening weekend, accept this apology and try to find a place to spend next years opening weekend. Let us now get caught up on the Levee’s Locks and preview a few games of interest for this (11/14) weekend.

The Levee went 1-1 two weeks ago with A&M’s Aggies handling the Cyclones of Iowa State with little trouble. Sure would make one think that heading into Boulder to become bowl eligible a week later would be a gimme for the Ags….. On the other hand the Cal Bears sure as heck did get caught in that “trap” game and had to come from behind to squeak past the Arizona State Sun Devils. Another “Golden” reason to never put your faith and/or hard earned capital in the hands of hippies. That brings the season total to 24-20, hitting at 54%. Still a great spot to be in.

Some games of note this weekend (11/14).

Utah @ TCU – All the sudden TCU is sitting #4 in the BCS with the # 16 ranked Utes coming to Ft. Worth. Perhaps they should open up Amon Carter Stadium to veterans for this game to try and eclipse the 40K attendance mark. Should be a good one, TCU is coming in as a 17.5 favorite, but that line is up to 20 at some places. Either get on the Frogs yesterday or wait until 2 minutes prior to kick-off and take the Utes if the line has climbed much more.

Texas @ Baylor – Can Texas cover a big spread, more importantly are the Horns pissed enough from getting jumped by Bama in the BCS, for not throttling UCF enough, to try and go out and obliterate Baylor. It might not matter; Baylor just went on the road and worked over a decent Mizzou team. There will be more burnt orange in Floyd Casey Stadium than Green and Gold, but that has become expected. Expect BU to let it all hang out, as much as they can without getting expelled from school that is, to try and cover the 23.5 points. It might not take much versus Texas’s 1 dimensional offense, but the Horns D can score as much as many offenses. Can’t wait to not watch this one.

Florida @ South Carolina – It’s always fun watching a Spurrier team play, even more fun when they are playing each other. The Gamecocks will go down, but they will go down in blaze, and their D isn’t bad and could force Florida to do something other than Tebow left, Tebow right, Tebow air it out and hope for PI. Will Florida continue to play it close to the vest, waiting on the SEC Championship or will they try and give Saban and crew more to think about in film session? Who knows, who cares just cover a line over 2 TD’s please.

“Ask what my country can do for me, not what I can do for my country.” - POTUS

More proof of the SEC producing superior athletes and even worse human beings.

POS of the weekend award goes to Brandon Spikes.
- If karma is for real; you sir will sadly lose your own eye sight and never see any of your illegitimates ever again.

Rules with a limp wrist award goes to Urban Meyer.
- For suspending Brandon "I use my fingers like" Spikes for only the first half of next weeks Vanderbilt game. If karma is for real; your house will be robbed and ransacked with all valuables stolen, but the case will remain cold and unsolved for eternity.

These kind of antics would sure make me want to start chanting "SEC! SEC!" as a Bama/LSU/Auburn/Tenn/Ark/Miss etc. fan watching Florida win the MNC. Seriously, pull for your team or STFU!

**Disclaimer** - The Levee does not believe in karma, just paying it forward.....