The Levee gets political

We were all taught to never talk about politics and/or money in social settings, it’s been deemed rude and unrefined. Well color me both then, because if four, 24 hour news channels can do it, then so can I. Not so much the money, but the politics. I’ve met miserable rich men and joyous poor men and those that have it want more and those that don’t do too, so I don’t get too caught up with money. Now, only if my generation felt the same way, we might not be in this economic abortion at the moment, but I digress. Recently Barry O nominated Sonia Sotomayor to be the next justice in the lands highest court. This is where monumental cases are argued and ruled upon, like Roe vs. Wade, Brown vs. The Board of Education (which has been improving suburban high school athletics ever since) etc… Personally I prefer to wade, rowing can really take it out of you. Sorry, I saw that on a sweet tank top in Destin one year. Back on topic, this Sotomayor lady has an impressive resume and a neat rag to riches story, and a law degree and federal judgeship appointment, but that doesn’t place her above reproach. She has made some freighting comments and rulings in her past. There was the comment made while speaking to a group of Duke students stating that the court of appeals “makes law.” Forgive my 1 high school semester worth of civics, but I recall being taught that it is the Legislative branch that makes law and it is the Judicial branch’s role to implement the law. Strike one. Okay, that is boring hubbub I know, so let’s spice it up a bit, let’s get reverse-racist! Lady Sonia added this nugget a few years back, at Cal Berkley no less…..shocker!, She claims "that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life." If she’s talking about homemade enchiladas, I couldn’t agree more, but outside of that I believe that’s strike two. Think if a white male had said something similar, he'd be run out of town quicker than John Edwards mistress. Here’s another example of her blatant disregard for the constitution and individual rights, she ruled against a teenage blogger, who had made some incendiary remarks about school officials on her blog. The teenager wanted to run for class office and the school said no b/c of the comments, the parents took this to court where Senorita Sotomayor ruled the court doesn’t have the right to step in and affect school policy. Sounds like a blatant free-speech issue to me. Strike three or red card, either way she’s out of here. There are more cases in which her rulings could be labeled suspect at best, but if I wanted to do that much legal wrangling, I would dye my hair blonde, get some enhancemnets and become a legal assistant. I know that is very cliché about legal assistants, but sometimes clichés really help hammer the point home, very much like a simile or metaphor.

Some food for thought….

Ladies, moms, wives, girlfriends, bosses, co-workers, teachers etc…. When you start a sentence with “I don’t mean to nag, but….” YOU ARE ALREADY NAGGING!! Just come on out with it, 9 out of 10 times you will get a better response by being forthright.

To all …. If you ever hear someone say “to make a long story short….” Prepare for the longest story you’ve heard in a while. I guess it’s a subconscious thing to make the storyteller believe that they aren’t about to waste your time.

It's Memorail Day and that's still not Oprah

Another Memorial Day weekend come and gone. I hope everyone had a nice long weekend doing whatever it is you do. It always surprises me how many folks don’t know what Memorial Day stands for, just that it’s a long weekend and even better a short work week. Real quickly it is to honor all those that have served, fought and died for our Country in battle. Yes even those 18 year olds that were given the option from judges across the country of time plus probation or enlisting, even they should be recognized. Why not teach a petty criminal how to become a honed in killing machine. In all seriousness I hope everyone was able to thank family members that have served or were able to thank a soldier in passing. I was in the airport all day and while there were plenty of soldiers coming and going, I spent the majority of my lay-over time reminding the TSA agents that they are not the 6th branch of the military. And whenever they are ready to come down from their collective high-horse, we citizens are ready as well. And I wonder why I get “special screening” every time. The airport can be a very entertaining place, the people watching is one of a kind, especially when you post up at a gate with the next flight headed straight for Shanghai. If you want to see the newest and hippest luggage coming on the market, go find a flight heading to the far East and you will see what is going to be on every liberal arts bound college kids Christmas list next year. You will also find the latest in face masks here as well. Maybe it’s mandated by the Chinese government, possibly afraid of Democracy spreading from inbound US flights. If they only knew this flight was coming from Chicago, where they haven’t enjoyed democracy in years!


I knew we were getting close to home when I overheard a phone conversation while waiting to board our regional hop, skip and a jump jet home. The man that called my fellow passenger was upset and felt it couldn’t wait apparently. My fellow passenger allegedly promised this guy a “show pig” for his daughter, my bet it she already is one or at least one of her friends would work, but I digress, and it sounds like the caller didn’t like the end product. The passenger, like any good stock swindler, immediately blamed the mistake on his hired hand. Why not, he can’t speak the language and surely doesn’t have a cell phone so he basically he doesn’t exist, all clear! Plus as the passenger would announce at least 36 times to the whole terminal, “I’VE BEEN IN RENO ALL WEEK!” so he couldn’t be held responsible. I am sure Reno hated to see this “whale” leave town. Word is they are going to be out of french toast at the Best Western Reno for at least another week and all the slot stools are in need of a good tightening. But alas it was good to know that we were getting close to home and that my public education was going to continue to serve me just fine.


We had a great time in Chicago; it was the perfect mix of great weather, great food, great excursions and most importantly great company. So that wasn’t Oprah I kept seeing, it took hours to erase all those pics of me and random black women from the camera. We kept very busy, but never felt rushed, kind of like every quarterback A&M faced last year. We covered a lot from architectural tours, to fine dining, shopping, art places and even a game of putt-putt in the middle of the park with a few Mike’s Hard Lemonades. LOL! (For all the Chris Hansen fans). I mentioned art places, this was more like an art city and art people everywhere, or it could have simply been a Star-trek convention going on, depends on who you ask. Regardless the Art Institute of Chicago was quite a spectacular, it houses some of the most famous and rare pieces out there, in fact if anyone would have gotten a picture of me in there, it would be a one of a kind, never going to happen again type piece that surely would be worth something. By the way any of you with toddler age children, save those papers with all the scribbling on them, apparently there is a place in this super awesome world of art for them as well. Please see exhibit A. So we walk into the “Modern Contemporary” room and after successfully muffling my laughter with fake coughs, I had to get the camera and document this. And in true non-art appreciating fashion I quickly pulled of a picture from the middle of the room of this 20’x20’ behemoth, with the flash on. I was promptly told that this was a no-no, and it proved to cut our viewing session short, by short I mean over, if only I had been privy to this information earlier; I might have had us out of there after the second Renoir! I mean seriously though, what was my Japanese made flash going to do to this acid-trips pencil and crayon loopty loops? All in all it was good to go and watch my darling wife enjoy seeing the rare art. I also enjoyed getting to wear my new bowler hat and whistling the Thomas Crown Affair theme music for two hours. The guards however, didn’t think my empty cans of Copenhagen were funny when I would roll them around the rooms upon my entrance, but I was entitled to entertainment as well wasn’t I?!

How time flies when you don’t pay attention, the levee has been battling rising waters the past week and if it weren’t for Sean Penn’s heroic, anonymous efforts, all might have been lost. However, the water has receded, Michael Vick is home, his cats are happy, and I’m now thirty, when life starts to matter. So to the 3 of you who's lives hang on your daily dose of “views from the levee” I apologize, but as Eminem dealt with severe writers block and needed a year to kick Valium and to decide if he wanted to bed-down or kill Kim, the levee too has had much on its proverbial plate. Age is just a number, at least that’s allegedly what some ladies have been told in Vegas every December, stopping promptly in 2006, but for some reason 30 has a different vibe to it. To answer why; would be like asking why fine China is called China even though it is not made of lead, a product of some 8 year old "average" gymnast or from China at all. Some things just have no explanation. So we go with it, like the flock of sheep you have been taught to become. Gut check is the best way to describe it in my opinion. You look in the mirror that morning, as every morning before, but this day, the beginning of your 30th year in existence and it’s different. This time you need to like and/or be okay/content with what you see. Because this time you have no excuse, the days of blaming poor decisions, inappropriate comments, or bad bets can no longer be chalked up to “I'm in my 20’s, I'll recover from this!” I promise the bad bets will continue, like not putting Mine That Bird in your Exacta at the Preakness! You fool, me too. As will the inappropriate comments, like thinking every server at the Mexican food joint wants to be spoken to in Spanish, they don't by the way, but I digress. At 30, society tells us that we should be on some sort of “path” and have “direction." Two words that when not associated with war or hiking, have very negative connotations. I guess not all feel this way about 30, some look forward to it, it justifies their expanding waist line and life long goal to “be old” and to others it’s a time to do self-inventory (a nice way of saying “do I fit in with the Jones’s?”) and to those others, it’s still just a number. Whatever it is to you, do what feels right, but do it with no regrets.


Now on to more pressing current happenings. Michael Vick has been released from Leavenworth Federal Prison, in Kansas. He did a 19 month stretch on a 23 month stint, while down for felony animal cruelty, tax evasion and living up to the stereotype. Sorry for those that aren’t into prison lingo, when House Hunters or Real Housewives isn’t on the levee's TV, anything with “Lock” in the title is being watched and DVR’ed at this housing unit, I mean house. So Mike gets to do the rest of his stint under house arrest. Wow wouldn’t we all be so lucky. The odds that Mike Vick isn’t soaking in a jacuzzi tub full of Dom Perignon right now are about as good as my one eyed tabby cat making it out of a Michael Vick puppy park alive. A 10 year, 130 million dollar deal wasn't enough, but seeing if Spike could "eliminate" Rosie was, I hope the street cred in your suburban Virgina hood works out for you. Congratulations, you have just become as thug as Grant Hill and Christian Laettner. The only solace is that every night when he slides between his 2100 thread count Egyptian sheets, hopefully he has nightmares of Pits using his corn rolls as dental floss. Even a 4.3 forty can't save you from terminal mental torment. Perhaps that will be his Waterloo.



Allegedly the NBA semi-finals are happening right now. From the levee it looks more like a 2-man game of horse with 8 other guys in jerseys, 3 zebras, an over paid NBA has been in a suit and 40,000 people paying hard earned money to watch. It's amazing that so many tatted up Rhodes Scholars can clear out and let the two super-stars do their version of the Brazilian Samba every time down the court. I know that traveling and fidelity in the NBA are only stories our grandpappys tell us about, but has defending the ball been completely lost during the leap from Jr. High to the NBA? And we scratch our heads when the Croatians pummel us every four years in the Olympics. If I watch 5 minutes of the next NBA play-off game it will be the first 4:45 minutes of NBA action I have seen all year, and 4:40 minutes more than want I wanted to see. But as a loyal Sporstcenter guy, I find myself wondering, can someone please produce Lebron's real birth certificate. The dude is 24 years old, allegedly, have you noticed the two bowling balls he calls shoulders and he's been trimming that beard since '97. Good thing the NBA has gone to long shorts.... And we thought we only cheated in the Tour de France .



Finally MLB baseball was on at the levee the other night, and man has Rawlings got a good thing going. Obviously neither the umpires nor MLB have received the memo that we are in a RECESSION. I bet they go through 100 balls a game. Cincinnati had some hack on the mound the other night that was very good at throwing a 59.5 ft. pitch, meaning every second pitch bounced to the catcher, and like Latino clock work, the catcher without hesitation would hand the ball to the home plate ump demanding a new ball. Thinking that it was obviously the balls fault that his rag armed pitcher couldn't get a curve ball to carry 60 ft 6 inches. And like the trained circus elephants they are, the ump would mindlessly hand a $20 Rawlings to the catcher, just to have to do the same swap-out no less than three pitches later. I guess being in the leather by-product business I should embrace such foolishness, but being a Phil Niekro fan, I appreciate the value of a good scuffed baseball.



As the Memorial Day Weekend awaits us, the levee is going to be on the road. The darling wife has put together what should be a most memorable weekend in Chicago. Considering there is only about a 4 month window to enjoy this true American city, we plan on doing our best. Personally the shopping potential on Michigan Avenue has kept me up the past couple of nights. Can we make all the stores? Will all the items I've been bird-dogging online still be in stock? Will Oprah leave any size 16's for the rest of us? Oh, the anxiety that kicks in before such a trip. All I know is that any time spent with my darling wife is time that is cherished and if nothing else we will always have the Art Institute of Chicago! And maybe a couple of deep dish pies.



Closing thought from the levee: As times are tough and getting tougher, and having just become happily married and seeing many peers have and/or attempt children, I have heard some question if bringing up children in such a changing world is even worth it. Well, I pass along some genius that was said to me one day, un-provoked as much advice I receive is. But these two optimistic thinkers said, instead of being afraid that your child might fall prey to the crazy world we live in, why not bare children and raise them to exude the virtues that we hold dear, and let them be the leaders of tomorrows generation. Have faith that your child will absorb your teachings and desire to carry those ideals into the years ahead. Remember as much as Nancy Pelosi makes us want to eat a bowl of thumb tacks in the morning at times, it only takes one young congressperson to cancel out her Karl Marx inspired vote!

How an umpire can ruin a rip-roaring Friday night, and weekend for that matter...

Nothing says married and fixing to turn 30 like sitting in front of your computer to watch a college baseball game on your 15” monitor on a Friday night. While DVR-ing Deadliest Catch re-runs to watch “late night” when you really want to cut loose! Seriously, I had to rest up for the big Mother’s Day dinner at my Grandparent-in-laws that Saturday. They deserve my “A” game and as usual they got it, and some of my “B” game, but that was later in the evening. So back to my Axl Rose-esque Friday night, DVR is set-up in the living room, A&M vs. Texas is pulled up on the computer, A.M. radio is pulled up on the computer, to let Dave South see how confusing he can make a baseball game and the Coors Lights have been laid out in a very particular order in the fridge to coincide with the ebbs and flows of the ball game. That turned out to be a lost cause, as you will read; some how whiskey turned up in the rotation, if that gives any clue as to the contest I was about to witness. *Side note - House Hunters was being watched on the main TV, if you ever want to rob my house, come when I’m gone and my darling wife is watching House Hunters. Unless you want to steal the TV, your presence won’t be noticed. It’s like a baby on 40 milligrams of adderal and a new mobile! Okay, back to my hotel room destroying Friday night. The game gets going and as expected it’s a dandy, Texas jumps out to a big lead and their pitcher is mowing threw Aggie batters like the Swine Flu through a chiclet distributor’s convention. With some well timed long balls, the Ags play there way back into the game and make it a nail biter. Amazingly Dave South, A&M’s infamous all sports play-by-play guy, is calling it like he’s reading it off a fast scrolling ticker at the bottom of ESPN, and couple that with a 10 second radio delay. So when the pitch has reached the catchers mitt after a “coming out of his cleats homerun swing” I’ve got radio genius telling me to watch for the drag bunt. I mean seriously, he gets about half of everything correct, leaving many to wonder why A&M shut-down its journalism department. I digress, so now it’s late in the game, the Crown Royal has mysteriously made its way into my office and the House Hunters marathon is on the home stretch. Now to the point, there were 3 calls, by the same umpire, Dave Yeast, one in all 3 games of the series that would greatly swing momentum and ultimately cost the Ags the regular season conference championship, not to mention the coach’s bonuses that are attached to such feats. Let me also mention that Dave Yeast has served as the National Coordinator of Umpires for the NCAA for 8 years. Here is a clip of the 1st bad call, (Forgive the music, it's the first single from my garage band "Shingle Fever") which would have given the Ags the lead and not forced extra innings where Texas would go on to win by 2. Now onto Saturday where the series shifted over to Austin and or pal Dave Yeast is now at third base, this pitch was perfect, with a left handed batter, to nail a guy trying to swipe 3rd, but apparently yeast infections can travel and have adverse effects on one’s eyes. Fortunately this blown call would have no lasting effect as the Ags went on to win 3-0. Finally it’s the Sunday “rubber match” to decide the series and more than likely the regular season conference champion. Mr. Yeast was now umpiring first base and it didn’t take him long to screw up another call and 100% effect the outcome. There was 1 out in the bottom of the first, Texas has a runner on first, a ground ball is hit to the second basemen, he shovels it to the short-stop covering second, gets the lead runner out and throws onto first base to complete the double play, but Mr. necessary active bread raising ingredient decided to botch another call, thus leaving the runner on 1st with two outs. Texas went on to score 5 runs in that inning and nothing else the entire game. The final, if you’re still reading, you guessed it, 5-4 Texas wins. I know that no one play can/should effect the outcome of any sporting event, but anyone that knows anything about baseball knows that it’s a game of momentum and breaks. When you get no breaks and continually have the momentum snatched from your dugout, it becomes a tough row to hoe.

So see you really don’t have to be out carousing around, painting the town red, leaving your credit card at bars, maybe needing to apologize to co-workers on Monday to have a good time. A functioning refrigerator, an understanding wife, a full can of dip and a good internet feed can provide all that you need. I am already looking forward to next Friday, maybe there’s a good high-limit bridge tournament I can get in on!

Building Champions...with both kinds of tools.

If this is what it takes to play in BCS games and compete for championships, well then someone head to the Lowes in College Station and buy up all the screwdrivers.



Just kidding of course, a really good linebacker shouldn't need a weapon.

Let it rain

As I sit here, watching, listening to and appreciating the rain, I wonder why this free fuel of life gets such a bad rap. Sure it inconveniences us at times and might cause an all out change of plans, but for all the good it provides, I am tired of the complaining. And to all the weathermen and women out there, shame on you, for always referring to the rain with a negative tone, outside of those weather folks in the rural communities whom know the value of a good dosing. If the weather people realized the job security “storms and rain” provided they might have a different perspective. I doubt many Hawaiian’s stay up to catch the 10pm weather on their local news just to make sure it’s going to perfect for the 7,584 day in a row (High of 82 Low of 82 and mostly sunny). Back to the rain, as previously noted it can be an inconvenience, but so can brushing your teeth in some situations. It might interrupt a ball game, but I think its nature’s way of separating the real fans from those who want to know what inning the football game is in. There is a reason sports bars have more taps than TV’s. Rain is the ultimate provider; it makes Goodwill look self-fish. It fills our rivers, lakes and streams. The streams are often created by, or rejuvenated by rain, which allows them to transport nutrients to fish and so on all the way up the food chain to us. It fills the rivers that allow for the flow of industrial goods from one part of the country to another and the creation of unlikely friendships. And a great place to get rid of an old car or washing machine. It fills the lakes, which provide all of the above plus real estate, retirement, vacation and other piece of mind opportunities. But most importantly it is free fuel, that grows are crops, fattens our livestock and it doesn’t cost a dime. The earth’s surface is 75% salt water, if anyone could develop a low energy/cost effective desalination process; they could buy a big boat and float wherever they want on 75% of the earth. By that I mean, it’s possible to desalinate but terribly expensive and consumes mass amounts of energy to produce little yield. Sounds like the same requirements for an Al Gore speech. So when it rains we get this jewel for free, with little to no energy output, but with great yield potential. So the next time the “Chief Meteorologists” starts bagging on the rain and saying little zingers like “good day to be a duck!” think about the hypocrisy they spew. They need that rain, they want that rain, and they depend on that rain. At least until Doplar radars become stocking stuffers and we are all making our own forecasts. So the next time it rains, which will probably be soon, don’t look at the rain with anger and disgust, look at it and be thankful for the goodness it provides, the services it aides, and the money it can save. Oh and the oxygen that is a by-product of photosynthesis, that keeps you alive, but that’s for another day. Just trust me without rain you would be dead, ask those folks in Death Valley, not Baton Rouge, their border line brain-dead already, but in California.

Some pictures... you should be able to click on them to enlarge

Some quick updates and notes of interest

Probably the coolest thing that occurred in my small universe over the past week was when it came to my attention that one of the 3 yr olds running in the 135th version of the Kentucky Derby, Join in The Dance, is owned by a group of guys that were classmates of mine for many years. To have watched these guys hamming it up with the Sultans and Sheiks would have been priceless. It has been reported that they were the only owners that bought canned beer from the stable boys for the procession walk from the paddocks to the track! I would have expected nothing less. Unfortunately for them, strippers in the owners box are frowned upon at Churchill Downs. But when the dust/mud settled they had to be thrilled. Their pony led the Kentucky Derby for 3/4 of the race and finished strong in 7th place. The heavy race time favorite finished second to last and the winner was the other 50-1 long shot coming in. It will be interesting to see if they decide to run JITD at The Preakness in two weeks.

In keeping with the "livestock" theme, Riverland Cattle Co. had it's first calf about 2 weeks ago. For those scoring at home, Red #7 had a black heifer #9. Baby and mom are both doing well, neither seems to want me to get close, but a well driven gator and a well placed neck rope ended that the other night. She has been tagged and will be left alone to grow.

Speaking of gators, the above was referring to the John Deere version of off road utility vehicle. But the Mother nature version has been out in abundance recently. I have been taking pictures and will try to post, but the quality doesn't do the encounters justice. It is truly like stepping back in time, oh about 5 million years, and watching dinosaurs.