Elizabeth find a ramp, we'll be in the hot tub. The Levee's Locks 10/31. YTD:23-19.

Do you know what Jennifer Aniston, Charles Barkley, Jessica Simpson, LC from the Hills, Elizabeth Taylor, Pamela Anderson, Dennis Rodman, Christie Brinkley, Brad Pitt and The Levee have in common? No it has nothing to do with the executive suite at The Wynn in Las Vegas, damn Elizabeth Taylor and that wheel chair and the Wynn’s complete disregard for ADA compliance, otherwise oh brother! But I digress. What all of these have in common is their uncanny ability to rebound. Whether it be rebounding a ball, a set of balls or simply coming back from an unsatisfactory weekend of handicapping to go an impressive 3-1. That’s right we are back to hitting at 54% and that’s winning my friend. So like Elizabeth Taylor told hubby’s 1-5 “let’s try and keep it up this time!” here are this weeks locks.

Haven’t you heard the recession is almost over, so F the 1 Trina’s we are playing with house money!

2 Trinas:

Texas A&M – 6.5 v. Iowa State – The Aggies are coming off a huge win against the Red Raiders of Texas Tech. And on the other side Iowa St. is coming of an even bigger (for their programs sake) win at Lincoln. Iowa St. was helped with 8 crucial turnovers by Nebraska, a few while they were literally going into score. Look for the Ags to have this covered by the 3rd qtr. And look for me to be swinging through the Cork and then to the house.

Cal – 6.5 v. Arizona St. – Not sure what is going on with this line, could be a “trap” game for the Golden Bears, but ASU is pretty bad and the Pac 10 isn’t exactly sown up yet. Jahvid Best might have 5 touchdowns himself and ASU might not score. Recommendation to anyone going to this one, find the ASU coeds it will serve you much better than the Cal coeds.

Remember it’s nice to be important, but more important to be nice….

Here’s to champagne wishes and caviar dreams!

Like Coach like fan. A boat full of idiots.

There is that fear of the inmates running the institution, and understandably that should be a fear, but along those same lines is a fear that grips Chancellors, Athletic Directors, Regents, Boosters, Alumni and School Presidents across the nation. The fear of a coach bolstering an image and persona that makes themselves bigger than the school. With that, please meet Mike Leach, Head coach of the Texas Tech University football team. Real quick, do you remember Danny Devito in Twins? When he and Arnold Schwarzenegger were twin brothers and the doctors referred to Devito as the “left over crap,” trying to atone for the glaring differences in character, moral code, stature and appearance. It is fair to say that somewhere there has to be another Leach brother; he might be hard to spot because of his put together appearance, his way of articulating charismatically, his apparent self-respect, his upbeat demeanor and his ability to paint clear pictures with his words. Either way, Tech has not only been left with the “left over crap” but they have allowed this dung heap to place himself and his bender inspired agenda above that of the Universities. What started as mad scientist antics on the football field, that really did have the pundits raving, has morphed into lunacy and embarrassment. His blatant disrespect for, well just about everything not him, has sky rocketed; his knack to, without so much a pause, throw his own players under the bus is nothing short of moronic and his ability to high-jack a fan base and guide them down the road of disgust from across the nation should have him packing his bags. One, 10 year win season can’t justify what he has done to the reputation of this once proud School on the high plains.

If you had a son being recruited to play football at the Division 1 level and this is what you witnessed on a recruiting visit, would you feel good about sending your son there to become a man? It’s hard to say if the fans once again turning on their own, after he sustained a concussion a few weeks earlier while trying to lead “their” team to victory, by chanting “no more Potts” or the coach publicly calling out his lack of ability in the press conference after the game, which of these would have a more detrimental effect on a college athlete.

Sports venues get their reputations based on their environment and its affect on the road teams chance to do well there. Good fans make it hard by being loud and knowledgeable, like getting louder as they see the QB having trouble getting his cadence out or hollering at the guy that is 0-12 to “shoot it” every time he touches the ball. These fan bases build up a reputation and are respected for what they bring to help their team win. Bad fans are fans that pour strawberry kool-aid on a team as they run onto the field, if you laughed at that you have the maturity of a 17 year old, congratulations. Bad fans tear up their own stadium, they boo their own team and they take pride in acting like buffoons. There is an old saying that relates directly to sportsmanship and it goes “Cheer for your team and for your team to do well, don’t cheer for the other team to do badly.” Easier said than done.

Dear Sirr Mix-a-lot: Speak for yourself! The Levee's Locks 10/24. YTD: 20-18.

The President has decided that he should have the authority to set and cap Wall Street executive’s salaries and bonuses. I guess when you have lost the ability to tell your wife that she really doesn’t need that 4th bear claw or remind her that a 20 piece is usually meant to be split, you have to flex your authoritative muscle somewhere. Kudos Barry, you are successfully eliminating competition amongst the best financial institutions, the same institutions that we all count on for productivity and increase in some capacity, and at the same time your better half has doubled her lower half in 6 months. Maybe she should take up smoking or basketball; it seems to work for you. Or maybe it’s the stress of running the greatest most powerful country on the planet, right into the ground, maybe that will curb a mans appetite. With that, it is the Levee’s honor and duty to help these under financed financiers recoup some of those lost wages. Let us now take a look at this week Levee’s Locks.

1 Trina:

Georgia Tech -5.5 v. UVA – Ga. Tech just handled the then #5 team in the country, Va. Tech. UVA is very close to DC, and DC is full of suck-bags. So Karma and Irony are on their way to do a little dishing.

Minnesota + 16.5 v. the Ohio State – the Ohio State just lost to the Purdue. Many tOSU fans feel the Tyrell Pryor (QB) needs to see the bench or the wide receiver position. Either way look for the Golden Gophers to be well inside the number.

Oklahoma St. -9.5 v. Baylor – Ok State just beat a decent, much better than Baylor, Mizzou team by 16. Baylor just got rabbit punched by Iowa St, 24-10. There should be ~18,000 fans, all tripping on sugar highs, at Floyd Casey in Waco on Saturday, but it won’t matter much. Ok State is looking to get all the kinks out before their showdown with Texas next weekend, sorry Baylor you are once again relegated to dress-rehearsal status. Don’t act like you’ve never been there either.

2 Trinas:

Oregon St + 21 v. USC – O State has beaten SC 2 out of the last 3 years. SC is looking to just keep winning, not blow anyone out. O State has talent that can hang with SC, just as Washington and ND did.


Take this and put it to good use. Or regurgitate it at a bar tonight, as if you know something, and see where it gets you.

Here’s to champagne wishes and caviar dreams!

Weekend recap, night cap, or whatever you want to call it.

Real quickly, the Levee went 1-2 last weekend, bringing the YTD to 20-18. Still winning but would like more cushion. Relax there are as many winners this week as there are games played. We will address this later.

A few quick thoughts on Ole Miss and Oxford:

- An absolutely beautiful campus and town
- The square has everything one could want/need on a game day or any day really
- Sweater vests are still in demand
- When you think you have been in the car forever and are getting close, you’re not
- Jeans aren’t terribly popular
- North Face is terribly popular
- The Grove is a people watchers Mecca
- Four guys in pea coat jackets sitting together at a football game is not a coincidence
- Ole Miss claims to be the Harvard of the South, pretty sure there’s a pending lawsuit
- It’s a hidden jewel, very much off of the beaten path

Some quick thoughts on the weekend’s games:

- The Aggies of Texas A&M should have been made to walk home from Manhattan KS
- Sam Bradford should sue Bob Stoops or demand a $5 mil per year job from OU for life
- the Ohio State is in trouble with Pryor at QB
- The SEC is a cheating, whining mess
- Colt McCoy needs to drop the awe shucks act
- The refs that called LSU/UGA and FLA/ARK games have been suspended for 3 weeks


Check back later for the Levee’s Locks, or don’t. You can play and reap it, or you can just talk about it and reap nothing but regret. All the while trying to fit in and put on the show by simply trying to make your wife think you are something other than that guy she see’s leave every morning, all the while you both know that that’s really all you are. It’s your funeral…..

Stay thirsty my friends….

Why is your Sprite brown? The Levee's Locks 10/17. YTD: 19-16.

It could be said that the vacuum sealer revolutionized the ability to freeze food items in a manner that would have it tasting as good the day it was frozen as it will 2 years later. And this thought has merit, but what the vacuum sealer has really revolutionized is College Football. Camel Bak was onto something with their liquid holding bladders, but it was only a matter of time before this idea was improved upon. They say necessity is the catalyst for invention and there was no doubting the need here. The need you ask, getting your beverage de jour into the ball game undetected and easily accessible. The time line of booze smuggling goes roughly something like this, the 5th bottle, the standard hard flask (groomsmen gift variety), the plastic flask to avoid metal detectors, the mini shooters, the soft sided flask and now the vacuum sealed pre-mixed beverage or just a simple 2-3 shot packet. Somewhere Che Guevara is applauding this epic revolution. But I digress. Why is this all the sudden relevant in week 7? Because this week the Levee will venture to the land where 9 out of 10 can differentiate, with just a passing glance, between a real or fake Louie, where tap water in a Fiji water bottle can be detected simply by sight and where the football game plays second fiddle to the hob knobbing of The Grove. That’s right Oxford bound and looking forward to see if the stereotypes hold water or if it’s the result of much seersucker envy.

There are a few games that The Levee likes this week, but not many, so here we go.

1 Trina:

UH -16 v. Tulane – The Cougs are a tough team to figure out, but when they put it all together they are flat out a tough team. Conversely Tulane isn’t a tough team. Look for Houston to take out some pent up Katrina revenge on the New Orleans residing Green Wave.

Navy -7 v. SMU – This is solely based off of Navy almost beating the Ohio St. and knowing that SMU doesn’t have Craig James or Eric Dickerson toting the rock. Unfortunately for both teams, especially SMU, they will lose most of their fans to another game going on in Dallas this Saturday. Good planning!

2 Trinas:

The Ohio St. -13 v. Purdue – tOSU is the front runner for the Big 10 title, with late season tests against Penn St. and Iowa. But they will toy with Purdue before putting them away by 3 scores.

Always leave them wanting more….

Here’s to champagne wishes and caviar dreams!

Step aside Metro's the Yuppies and Necks are coming to town. The Red River Rivalry '09.

Reason # 76 to be thankful you don’t call Dallas home - The Red River Rivalry.

This is the week that you find out your lawn man attended Texas and that scantily clad bar wench went to OU or that over zealous co-worker from Kansas that went to Pittsburgh State owns 3 Texas coaches polos. It’s amazing how these die hard alumni keep their allegiances hidden so well the other 51 weekends of the year. Or 50 if either is playing in a big time bowl game, which has been occurring quite frequently of late. On one October weekend, once a year, Dallas is invaded from every conceivable direction by rabid Horns and overconfident Sooners. And so begins the annual shenanigans that remind non horn and sooner fan why he moved his family to Plano. Bar’s conduct contests as if it was Spring Break and they've tranfsormed into Louie’s Backyard. There is even a Tug-a-plane contest this year put on by Southwest Airlines, pitting a group of Horns versus a group of Sooners to see who can pull the plane the furthest. After the officials explain to the Sooner team that it is an airplane and not John Deere’s newest wheat combine, you have to think that they will out pull their soft handed counterparts. The only certainty is that the Levee will neither know nor care how this one plays out. Bars will be rented out by different student and alumni groups, thus forcing the regulars and locals to retreat to Addison and slum it up. There will be a run on the metallic car logos of each university, as if this run hadn’t already happened, like every May, August and December (graduation). The DFW residing alumni of each school will “reconnect” with old college buddies that they hadn’t heard from since, well college. Horn fans will pull out their most obnoxious burnt orange attire and feel the need to where it everyday of the week leading up to the game. While Sooner fans have put off the last hay cutting and bailing of the fall in anticipation as well. The State Fair of Texas will be in full swing, catering to just one of the at least two dozen state's Universities and to the state school of another state, makes perfect sense! Cabbies are already hiking their fares, knowing that no self-respecting Texas fan would dare park his 5-series in Fair Park, while Sooner fans say I dare you to F with my super duty 4x4. There are a few good things about this year’s game, first, it’s an 11am kick-off meaning there won’t be an entire days worth of suffering through Brent Musburger’s promos about a dramatic tale of two fabled teams destine for an epic battle of the ages and somehow incorporating Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley’s bass fishing fetishes blah blah blah. Secondly the schools split the stands in half at the 50, both teams getting an end zone, this provides free entertainment because when one team scores in the other teams end zone, it invokes wild “we better dan you” celebrations, all the while whipping the many celebutards roaming the sideline on both the OU side and the Texas side into a freenzy. Finally the best part of this game is that one team will lose. This game also has the ability to spawn some creative folly, like theses guys or these MC's. In our best Nancy Kerrigan cry/whine we ask; Why? Why? Why? Why now? Why us? Why?

Smells fishy and it's not Michelle this time.

They say if you give a man a fish, you have fed him for a night but if you teach a man to fish you have fed him for a lifetime. Obviously this was not part of any curriculum in the multitude of schools/churches were Barry O received his lessons as a child, and for sure not in the hallowed halls of Harvard or its esteemed law school. As well it is highly unlikely that many kids in Chicago are learning the values of the other education, the outdoors kind. And by outdoors education we don’t mean beating another teen to death with a fence post, which recently happened in a South side Chicago neighborhood. We mean the education that teaches respect, accountability, appreciation, confidence and most importantly a love of the outdoors and all it offers. What most enviro’s don’t realize is that the majority of outdoorsmen are in some form or fashion environmentalist themselves. Not the climb a tree and live in it types, rather the climb a tree to hunt from types, all the while following and respecting natures rules, the governments regulations and most importantly their own ethical and moral conscious about what is right and what is wrong. A good outdoorsman takes what he needs and uses what he takes. They follow seasonal guidelines, size restrictions, bag limits, all the while paying handsomely to do so in the form of licenses, permits and equipment to name a few. The direct by-product of all these expenditures is job creation and money being spent in all arenas directly related to the outdoors. The president in his slight of hand way is currently trying to literally do a complete face transfer on outdoor, especially fishing, policy. Sweeping policy change that would affect the weekend warrior, the seasoned salt and the commercial grinder. It is just now getting radio air time and making its way around the web. Whether you fish for recreation, for a living or just enjoy knowing that your husband likes to fish, this policy reform is detrimental to all. The sheer numbers of potential job loss is unfathomable; the sharp increase in equipment prices will force people out of the business and force others to find new hobbies all together. More than anything it is the latest attempt by this government to permanently become a fixture in your homes and your garages in this case.

Feds to 60 Million American Anglers: We don't need you.

Sleep-LES in Baton Rouge, what a yawner!

What did we learn after the first full weekend of conference play?

- The SEC needs to get over itself already.

- Jevan Snead 4 interceptions against Alabama (hard to win a Heisman or a game for that matter with those stats).

- LSU’s inability to score a touchdown at home as the #4 ranked team in the country.

- doLes with more Miles going for a field goal instead of the TD, knowing his O hadn’t sniffed the end zone all game. Did he really think 3 points was going to be enough to send it to OT or was he just ensuring no skunk?

- Vanderbilt loosing to Army!

- LSU/Florida playing one of the more boring games of the season.

- Auburn getting ranked and then immediately getting blown out by Arkansas.

- Tennessee looking like the Vols of yesteryear in their romp of preseason top 10 UGA.

- Alabama and Florida have the two best defenses in the land and the two best teams for that matter, but watching Florida’s offense is like watching a c-section. You know the end result is going to be good, but the process is unnatural, painful and awkward.

- And for the rest of the country.

- We had said Texas isn’t playing like the #2 team in the country and finally the AP aggress, dropping the Horns to #3, after a lackluster effort against a bad Colorado team.

- Texas A&M literally handed Ok. State the game. An interception through the hands of freshmen CB Dustin Harris, which just happened to harmlessly fall into the waiting hands of a Cowboy receiver for a score was the difference in a 36-31 game. Plus a dropped TD on 4th and goal by QB/TE/FB Jamie McCoy.

- Oklahoma needed all 60 minutes to dispose of and cover against Baylor. Bradford looked rusty and wasn’t helped by multiple drops. Better get it straightened out before the Texas game this weekend.

- The Big 10 is still such a beating to watch. Iowa/Michigan on ABC trying to go head to head with LSU/Florida on CBS was a tough task. Even though that game turned out to be 10X as entertaining. That’s like putting anything against “CHiPs” in the 9am Fox slot on summer mornings in the '80s; it just wasn’t going to work out well.

- Who says you can’t lose your starting spot because of injury? Don’t tell Texas Tech back-up QB, Steven Sheffield, who was filling in for injured Taylor Potts. Sheffield threw for 490 yards and 7 touchdowns in the Red Raiders hammering of Kansas State. I am sure # 5, 6, and 7 were completely necessary. Sounds like a captain on a wobbly ship trying to put up some style points.

The Levee came back down to earth a bit this weekend, going a very pedestrian 3-4. Over all the numbers still look good at 19-16 or ~54%. Hey even Chuck Norris got bloodied up occasionally.

The Levee's Locks 10/10. YTD: 16-12

Not sure if it’s the nasty weather, the sloppy football game between Neb and Mizzou that was suffered through last evening, or the need to stay up and watch Justin Leonard lip out a 3 footer on 18 for the match win and a point in the President’s Cup, or possibly the wife catching the 5:30am flight to Newark, but something has the Levee feeling a bit stirred, not shaken today. Well, that was until I realized that the wife had indeed caught the 5:30am flight to Newark, meaning I have ~48 hours to undo all that was done by Mary the maid this week and can more importantly watch 36 straight hours of football without feeling obligated to periodically check the E entertainment channel to figure out which Kardashian sister needed a PR boost and decided to got married or pregnant. Plus my main man “Buckshot” Gus went under the knife last weekend, so a little father/K-4½ bonding should do wonders for his shaky self-confidence. Speaking of confidence, does anyone know the record for most deliveries to the same house within a 48 hour period for Papa John’s? This is a question not a riddle, regardless it could be in jeopardy this weekend. So with that said let us dive feet first, always in the shallow end or any unmarked or muddy waters, of this weekend’s college football slate and see where the smart money is.

A country and western singer once sang about the virtues of a good gambler, and his/her ability to stay astute to the situation at hand and make decisions accordingly. One nugget of wisdom was knowing when to walk away, or in our case back off some plays, which could ultimately be the difference between getting new rims or having to fire the maid. Always remember the need for action is the house/books secret silent weapon. But this same singer also referred to himself and his love interest as two islands in a stream, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Just take all of this with a grain of salt and own any decision you make.

1 Trina:

Kansas -16.5 v. Iowa St. – Not inferring that KU is that good, but am inferring that Iowa St. is that bad. After Mizzou going down to Nebraska last night, the Jayhawks feel like the Big XII North is between them and the Huskers. Look for Reesing to have a big day, particularly with their RB a little banged up. Behind any game Syracuse plays in, this might be the most unattractive game on the schedule, and were not talking about the coeds either. This game will be best viewed on the scrolling ticker or in Sunday’s paper.

Alabama -4 v. Ole Miss – This line has moved up and down more than that Ole Miss Sorority girl is going too tonight. Everyone is on Ole Miss, which naturally would tell you to get on Bama. But that is not the only reason Bama is the play here. Bama will have one of its chief SEC rivals (LSU/Florida) enter Sunday with a conference loss and they don’t won’t to be in whichever team (LSU) that might be’s company. Plus Ole Miss hasn’t looked good at all and for sure hasn’t been tested by the speed and athleticism coming to Oxford tomorrow. Memo to Grove patrons, you’ll probably want to pull out the faux silver and china for this one, Bama fans have sticky fingers if you know what I mean.

Vandy -10 v. Army – The flight of the Commodores continues this week. We had to lay off last week, but whether good or bad for Vandy, they have been good to the Levee. This has all to do with Army struggling mightily this year, they’ve lost to Tulane and been blown out by perennial juggernauts Iowa State and Duke. But on behalf of The Levee we thank the cadets for their current and future service to our country. Where else could I be typing a blog, earning a pay check all while our country is fighting two wars? Only in America baby!

Iowa -7 v. Michigan – Not sure why there is so much focus on the football hotbed that is the state of Iowa, but smart money is blind, and thank goodness because the scenery ain’t much up there. And I like to look at row crops if you follow me here. Iowa is playing good football and Michigan is not. Tate Forcier is still banged up and they have had high level emotional and physical games the past few weeks. Iowa will get a big road win in the big house.

Colorado +33.5 v. Texas – Had to find a dog to get on. That’s a gaming term, so please let’s re-focus here. Texas will win by 3 maybe even 4 touchdowns, but not by 5. Don’t be surprised to see the Horns looking ahead to the fried Twinkie show down in Garland TX next weekend.

2 Trinas:

Oklahoma – 25.5 v. Baylor – Even with RGIII, Baylor doesn’t sniff this number. Bradford or Jones again no matter, in fact for good times sake they ought to run The Boz back out at middle linebacker and let him crack on some Baptists. OU looks to warm up for the crucial fried snicker fest next weekend.

Auburn -2.5 v. Arkansas – Auburn put up huge numbers on a Tennessee defense that smothered the #1 ranked Florida Gators. Arkansas put up pedestrian numbers on an A&M defense that couldn’t smother the common kitchen fire. Arky has been up and down the road over the last 4-5 weeks, they are tired, miss their trailers and hide-a-way sofa beds; look for an energized Auburn team to continue to build momentum.

As always, don’t forget to tip your servers. If you see a Papa John’s delivery guy looking lost, send him my way and remember do as The Levee does, always pass it forward.

Here’s to champagne wishes and caviar dreams!

College football, fajitas, covering spreads, botanas, palapas.... Is this Heaven?

Let us toast another workman like effort from the Levee’s handicappers; hitting 4 of 7 plays this week brings the YTD season total to a respectful, semi-envious, 16-12, that’s 57%, you’re still making ching. Now don’t go calling Morton’s just yet, but feel free to start thinking about that savory first bite into a piping hot, medium rare, bone-in-ribeye. That burst of flavorful juices created solely from blood and broken down connective tissue, man aren’t we refined. But I digress, so how about we look at some high/low points from the weekend and quickly preview some intriguing match-ups for week 6.

LSU as predicted went between the hedges to knock off UGA, setting up this week’s showdown with the #1 Gators in Baton Rouge. LSU is still overrated, but don’t blame the bayou bengals for merely being survivors in this season of top 5 attrition. But for everything else feel free to hold worthLes Miles directly responsible. Remember it is in his contract to single handedly snatch defeat from the jaws of victory against at least one SEC after thought. By the way Tebow will play, the concussion probably caused brain cells to split, thus in his case doubling his previous cache.

Memo to Boomer Sooner fan - “You’re not done losing this season.” Like many an attack against the red man, there is no telling when and where defeat is coming from but just know that more is coming.

The difference between coaches and good coaches is the ability to put players in a position so that their strengths can be an asset. Equally important is seeing the flow of a game and on the fly, having the ability to make adjustments. Anyone who watched the Southwest Classic at Meadowlands West this past Saturday night knows exactly what is being referenced here. And like 98% of Saturday nights in Arlington TX, this one was menstrual esque, and should be flushed from the memory and never spoken off again.

Houston’s Metro busses hummed to a somber tone this week. After weeks of excited University of Houston commuters talking about beating Oklahoma State and then pulling off the shocker against Texas Tech, their beloved Cougs went into the Sun Bowl and got handled easily by the Miners of UTEP. Personal thanks to the Cougars, now we will all have to stomach another season of hearing about the proverbial “hang-over” game. Oddly enough it is now obviously clear that UTEP had been overlooking Texas for this premier math-up against UH.

The Levee’s recent Texican musings:

If a diorama of a city block, in the Rio Grand Valley of Texas, were being made, here are the items that need to be replicated to achieve authenticity: 17 cars pre-‘94, 8 leery lurkers, tires, signs, benches, fences, dogs, sinks, un-sea worthy boats, posters, flashing lights, banners, 3 strollers, 2 couches, cats, more tires, 2 taco stands, trash, debris, even more tires, 2 cows, chairs, bar b q pits, recliners, refrigerators, more dogs, telephone polls (both erect and strewn), lawn mower, guy standing w/ ice cream cart, and 3 girls pushing and carrying babies.

The mastery of the cocina by our southern neighbors continues to impress. The sheer thought of putting that much flavor and effort into so much, grade: barely-edible, meat de la vaca is nothing short of magical. One encounter with the infamous La Botana platter will leave even the most sinister of food snobs begging for pequeño más. El trabajo bueno mis amigos, el trabajo bueno!

Apparently we are in the midst of the Great Grass revolt of 2009. In arguably one of the most fertile areas for Lawn Mowing Maestros and Grass Cutting Gauchos in all the land, yard after yard locked abandoned. What fuels such irony? Is it like the swim coach that won’t get in the pool? Is it a fear of allegedly possessing the skills to be masterful, but the inherent fear of not living up to unrealistic expectations? That’s got to be it; most certainly this is the mental dilemma Juan battles daily.

El Valle is grand, not quite God’s country as some suggest, but an American treasure no doubt. As many “up-country” folk fear the H1N1 flu virus, they sit under las palapas enjoying a breezy 75 degree evening, more than likely with doped up skirt steak sizzling!