Election Day – The single most polarizing day that defines the underlying disparity between democracies, industrialized nations, and progressive countries populated with innovative minded citizens from their adversaries. A day in which individuals are stripped down of anything and everything deemed to have individual worth and the playing field is leveled with a simple single vote per person.
Religion is most often the scapegoat for brewing hatred and the infliction of terror, but in the modern times it is not the driving force, just the convenient patsy. Freedom which is expressed through public elections is what most strikes fear in the minds and hearts of those who prefer to oppress.
Certainly elections are held the world over, but the truth is that most are held under the real fear that the simple act of showing up to vote could cost one their life and almost equally as terrifying is that regardless of their vote or the number of votes cast, an outcome was well determined prior election day. To some it’s just a purple dye stained thumb, visible proof of a vote cast, but to those with the purple thumb it might possibly be the most cherished empowering act of their life.
Every recognized nation on the planet bares a flag that carries deep symbolic meaning and equally as deep is the pride for that flag and the, at all costs, protection and defense of said flag. But at the end of the day, people can burn and desecrate a flag, which is no doubt troubling because of the symbolism, but the real hope of these would be flag burners is to disrupt free, democratically based elections. All people from every religion in every social class representing every gender being able to cast a free and equal vote is what fuels the hatred.
The Fourth of July, Easter, Christmas, New Years Eve, Memorial Day, Veterans Day etc all would seem like ideal days for hopeful terrorists to unleash some concocted plan and really attack the morale of a nations people during times of celebration, while also trying to prop up some sort of mite and credibility they want others to fear they posses. But Election Day is the day Democracies cherish, the one day that defines a nation comprised of every conceivable background, Election Day allows real mite, importance, credibility, tolerance and freedom to be the virtue by which everyone stands.
Go Vote, or don’t bitch!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Sooner born.... sooner dead.
Is all publicity good publicity? University of Oklahoma officials are meeting at this moment to determine if there is any way to spin Jeffrey Landrigan’s ill timed usage of the famed “Boomer Sooner” chant to their competitive advantage. Good luck with this, remember how the land stealing thing turned out? Can’t imagine the brass in Norman using Jeffrey Landrigan in their newest installment off “We Have it All.”
Reports say that Jeffrey was only denied two of his pre-execution requests:
An 8 ball with his final meal and a conjugal visit with his first cousin Tammy.
He was a Sooner born a Sooner bred and by the power of the State of Arizona now he’s Sooner dead.
Reports say that Jeffrey was only denied two of his pre-execution requests:
An 8 ball with his final meal and a conjugal visit with his first cousin Tammy.
He was a Sooner born a Sooner bred and by the power of the State of Arizona now he’s Sooner dead.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The joys of Autumn: The hoeing of Halloween, the hoeing of politics and of course college football.
So it’s late October, and the truth is, it’s to late to think about Halloween costumes now and let’s be honest unless you’re an 18-28 year old female that needs an excuse to defile a nurses outfit a police women’s uniform or your local Prep school’s plaid skirt, no one will care or remember what you go as this year. So push ‘em up and get your hoe on!
However it is time to start thinking about all of the excitement that is the dawning of autumn. Such time honored traditions like taking your wife’s colorful, lively and fun spring/summer clothes to the attic replacing them with the largest collection of brown, black and navy sweaters ever assembled or deciding how to tell one side of the family that they didn’t make the cut for a Thanksgiving visit this year and of course there’s figuring out which new years resolution is still attainable and finally deciding which social leach deserves to be voted in or out of public office. But when it’s 89 degrees outside, the only waft of cool air you can find is when you climb a step stool and stand under an AC vent and the only colorful signs of the season strewn about your front lawn are for voting yes on Prop #25 and re-electing a do nothing Lt. Governor, it’s hard to think of anything Fall related. But if you take a blender add 8 parts fall, 6 parts college football and 2 parts slutty nurse, there can be a little fun to be had.
Let us see how the political season and the college football season can be meshed together, let’s create a government for the people, by the people and of the coaches.
President – Nick Saban: Reigning National Champs and came into 2010 highly favored; he did let one slip to a wily old salt in Steve Spurrier, but Nick is still the bell of the ball and top draw everywhere he goes. Plus he has a statue in his likeness being crafted and has already not approved 3 attempts, very presidential.
Vice President – Urban Meyer: Sat at the top in his circle for a while, turns out it was 1 really valuable asset that got him there, when said asset decided to strike out on his own things got ugly fast. The health issues have nothing to do with this appointment.
Speaker of the House – Mike Leach: Although he holds a law degree as do many politicos, not sure much would get done between never ending happy hours and commuting snafus between Key West and DC, but that’s about par for politics. One absolute, it would certainly make C-Span must see TV.
Secretary of State – Mack Brown: Accrues the best talent, can dabble in all the other Sec. business, spin’s the most negative situations, glad hands anyone that might have something he doesn’t yet but wants and can place all the blame on others when the façade begins to crumble.
Secretary of the Treasury – Lane Kiffin: In true Kiffin style this came down to a run-off, but the chosen one, with millions in the bank, 3 premier coaching jobs by 35 years of age and a career loosing record did in fact run-off with this post. He has also managed to keep getting Ed Orgeron paid and paid handsomely, so give credit where credit is due; just don’t get too attached to the baby faced charlatan.
Secretary of Defense – Mike Gundy: It is believed that by appointing The 41 year old Man to the highest position of Defense in the land, his teams might learn how to play some.
Attorney General(s) – Chris Peterson and Gary Patterson: These two stalwarts of the oft forgotten would like nothing more than a favorable court ruling forcing the BCS and every other rankings poll to take them seriously.
Secretary of the Interior – Houston Nutt: He has hired an entire high school coaching staff from his then home state to ensure the commitments of 3 highly touted prospects; this didn’t work out so well. He took a new job not only within his previous conference but within the same division. He took an exiled player from Oregon that was as familiar with Mississippi as Nutt is with ethics and named him starting QB at Ole Miss. The man knows nothing but the inside, the interior, and he has never had to look further than his current environs for his next opportunity….. I would hate to be his neighbor!
Secretary of Agriculture – Gen Chizik: Gene has hitched his team and his career on a professed black mule, just quoting what the kid’s dad said, and it’s succeeding beyond all expectations. No need to go underground his Auburn railroad is steaming across the Plains.
Secretary of Labor – Rich Rodriguez: This man knows nothing but Labor. Rich Rod has been repeatedly accused of going over the allotted 20 hrs/week permitted by the NCAA for practice time. Yet he could be looking for labor real soon if things don’t turn around quickly in Ann Arbor.
Secretary of Commerce – Butch Davis: This guy knows how to get it for his players or how to turn a blind eye while they are getting phat off agents. This term will be short, too much unauthorized commerce and shame for the pride of Tobacco Road.
Secretary of Health and Human Services – Mark Mangino: This is more of a figure head roll, at some point soon he will be donated to science and many HHS questions will be answered and myths debunked.
Secretary of House and Urban Development – Pete Carroll: The man truly had a finger on the pulse of his USC championship teams, he saw to it that everyone including Reggie Bush and his parents didn’t go without shelter along with other developments (cash money b!tches) for his players. And like the good Sheppard when his work was done and his flock tended too (hood rich) he got out of college football and into the “can’t touch me now” NFL.
Secretary of Transportation – Bob Stoops: The guy flat out knows transportation, from Escaldes for Adrian Peterson to the “tire”less work of Rhett Bomar at Big Red Motors. They say the guy can break down any motor put in front of him, unfortunately the same can’t be said for offenses in BCS bowl games.
Secretary of Energy – Chip Kelley: His team runs 110 plays a game, they average 54 points per game and Autzen Stadium never stops rocking. He replaces Mike Sherman, who clearly left it all on the field.
Secretary of Education – Jim Harbough: The guy wins, a lot, with a collection of athletic programmers, economist and guys that summer camped at Goldman Sachs. USC’s defensive line combined had the same SAT as his QB, audibles and checks at the line of scrimmage are made in Latin, they receive or defer based on rising and falling tides.
Head of the Senate Page Program – Les Miles: Too old to be a Page himself and having never cracked the required 3.0 GPA, Les shared some of his infamous luck with the 3 Kennedy boys over the years in return he asked to be the Head Page. Seems his luck was good for a while, but as history will tell it eventually ran out for two of them. And now we are stuck with Les.
However it is time to start thinking about all of the excitement that is the dawning of autumn. Such time honored traditions like taking your wife’s colorful, lively and fun spring/summer clothes to the attic replacing them with the largest collection of brown, black and navy sweaters ever assembled or deciding how to tell one side of the family that they didn’t make the cut for a Thanksgiving visit this year and of course there’s figuring out which new years resolution is still attainable and finally deciding which social leach deserves to be voted in or out of public office. But when it’s 89 degrees outside, the only waft of cool air you can find is when you climb a step stool and stand under an AC vent and the only colorful signs of the season strewn about your front lawn are for voting yes on Prop #25 and re-electing a do nothing Lt. Governor, it’s hard to think of anything Fall related. But if you take a blender add 8 parts fall, 6 parts college football and 2 parts slutty nurse, there can be a little fun to be had.
Let us see how the political season and the college football season can be meshed together, let’s create a government for the people, by the people and of the coaches.
President – Nick Saban: Reigning National Champs and came into 2010 highly favored; he did let one slip to a wily old salt in Steve Spurrier, but Nick is still the bell of the ball and top draw everywhere he goes. Plus he has a statue in his likeness being crafted and has already not approved 3 attempts, very presidential.
Vice President – Urban Meyer: Sat at the top in his circle for a while, turns out it was 1 really valuable asset that got him there, when said asset decided to strike out on his own things got ugly fast. The health issues have nothing to do with this appointment.
Speaker of the House – Mike Leach: Although he holds a law degree as do many politicos, not sure much would get done between never ending happy hours and commuting snafus between Key West and DC, but that’s about par for politics. One absolute, it would certainly make C-Span must see TV.
Secretary of State – Mack Brown: Accrues the best talent, can dabble in all the other Sec. business, spin’s the most negative situations, glad hands anyone that might have something he doesn’t yet but wants and can place all the blame on others when the façade begins to crumble.
Secretary of the Treasury – Lane Kiffin: In true Kiffin style this came down to a run-off, but the chosen one, with millions in the bank, 3 premier coaching jobs by 35 years of age and a career loosing record did in fact run-off with this post. He has also managed to keep getting Ed Orgeron paid and paid handsomely, so give credit where credit is due; just don’t get too attached to the baby faced charlatan.
Secretary of Defense – Mike Gundy: It is believed that by appointing The 41 year old Man to the highest position of Defense in the land, his teams might learn how to play some.
Attorney General(s) – Chris Peterson and Gary Patterson: These two stalwarts of the oft forgotten would like nothing more than a favorable court ruling forcing the BCS and every other rankings poll to take them seriously.
Secretary of the Interior – Houston Nutt: He has hired an entire high school coaching staff from his then home state to ensure the commitments of 3 highly touted prospects; this didn’t work out so well. He took a new job not only within his previous conference but within the same division. He took an exiled player from Oregon that was as familiar with Mississippi as Nutt is with ethics and named him starting QB at Ole Miss. The man knows nothing but the inside, the interior, and he has never had to look further than his current environs for his next opportunity….. I would hate to be his neighbor!
Secretary of Agriculture – Gen Chizik: Gene has hitched his team and his career on a professed black mule, just quoting what the kid’s dad said, and it’s succeeding beyond all expectations. No need to go underground his Auburn railroad is steaming across the Plains.
Secretary of Labor – Rich Rodriguez: This man knows nothing but Labor. Rich Rod has been repeatedly accused of going over the allotted 20 hrs/week permitted by the NCAA for practice time. Yet he could be looking for labor real soon if things don’t turn around quickly in Ann Arbor.
Secretary of Commerce – Butch Davis: This guy knows how to get it for his players or how to turn a blind eye while they are getting phat off agents. This term will be short, too much unauthorized commerce and shame for the pride of Tobacco Road.
Secretary of Health and Human Services – Mark Mangino: This is more of a figure head roll, at some point soon he will be donated to science and many HHS questions will be answered and myths debunked.
Secretary of House and Urban Development – Pete Carroll: The man truly had a finger on the pulse of his USC championship teams, he saw to it that everyone including Reggie Bush and his parents didn’t go without shelter along with other developments (cash money b!tches) for his players. And like the good Sheppard when his work was done and his flock tended too (hood rich) he got out of college football and into the “can’t touch me now” NFL.
Secretary of Transportation – Bob Stoops: The guy flat out knows transportation, from Escaldes for Adrian Peterson to the “tire”less work of Rhett Bomar at Big Red Motors. They say the guy can break down any motor put in front of him, unfortunately the same can’t be said for offenses in BCS bowl games.
Secretary of Energy – Chip Kelley: His team runs 110 plays a game, they average 54 points per game and Autzen Stadium never stops rocking. He replaces Mike Sherman, who clearly left it all on the field.
Secretary of Education – Jim Harbough: The guy wins, a lot, with a collection of athletic programmers, economist and guys that summer camped at Goldman Sachs. USC’s defensive line combined had the same SAT as his QB, audibles and checks at the line of scrimmage are made in Latin, they receive or defer based on rising and falling tides.
Head of the Senate Page Program – Les Miles: Too old to be a Page himself and having never cracked the required 3.0 GPA, Les shared some of his infamous luck with the 3 Kennedy boys over the years in return he asked to be the Head Page. Seems his luck was good for a while, but as history will tell it eventually ran out for two of them. And now we are stuck with Les.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Happiness is non-conference games in the rear view mirror.
Hard to believe but here we sit three weeks into what has already been an entertaining college football season that has produced more than enough story lines worthy of intrigue and interest. In the time it takes Lindsay Lohan to go to jail, get released, got to rehab, get released, fail a drug test and presumably go back to jail, our favorite teams have played 2-3 games and created some highly exhilarating drama between the white stripes. So what have we learned other than, Hollywood and rehab go together like USC and institutional control? A lot actually, some lessons of note:
* Scheduling and paying FCS/Division II, or whatever they go by this season, teams to appease the alumni and make your blue chip players feel good about themselves doesn’t always work out – Ask Ole Miss about Jacksonville State and Virginia Tech about James Madison.
* Notre Dame getting bested by a gutsy fake field goal to lose to the other Michigan team (Sparty), aftering falling to Big Blue the week prior, has made it officially 11 years since ND was relevant.
* Tim Tebow will be more missed than many (The Levee included) outsiders thought in Gainesville. Wonder if he could come back and play center?
* The sate of Florida produces speed and more speed. Miami, UF and FSU can only sign so many guys, meaning SFU, CFU, FIU. Fla Atlantic etc end up with some great athletes. Ask Texas A&M about the speed and athleticism at FIU.
* Regardless of where he’s coaching Lane Kiffin is a first class A-hole. Going for 2 all game against Hawaii. Really Lane? We know you’re not better than that, but surely your legend of a father has to be.
* Alabama’s two deep could beat 85 % of the FBS/Division 1 teams in the country.
* Boise State might be for real, they were for a week in everyone’s mind, until Virginia Tech got beat at home by James Madison University. That took a little wind out of the Boise State sails. Should know a little more about the Broncos this week when they get their last, and only the second, test of the season against Oregon State.
* The BIG 12 screwed up (this refers to screw up #1 by the conference, not the subsequent thousands) by taking Baylor over TCU in 1996. This was proven again last weekend when the Frogs out classed the Bears for 60 minutes and close to some 40 points.
* Oklahoma is going to bring their A game every other week this season.
* Tommy Tubberville is NOT going to run the same and/or a possibly improved version of the offense that Mike Leach utilized at Texas Tech. 144 total yards against Texas this year, Tech had over 400 yards passing in this game last year.
* Mark Richt has done Les Miles the biggest favor one coach can do for another besides of course losing to him; he has made his own seat 10 times hotter than Miles seat was a mere three weeks ago.
* If Texas wants to be a part of the conversation when the elite programs are being discussed, a running back must emerge from somewhere. 3 have tried 3 have failed.
* The SEC is clearly the dominant conference; when one power is down a new one rises up. Tennessee down – South Carolina up, Georgia down – Arkansas up. With that said, their internal cannibalism might “bite” them at the end this year.
* Nebraska is heads and shoulders above the next closest challenger in the BIG 12 North. Oklahoma is probably the clear cut leader in the South, but this division is much more wide open. Or as wide open as a 5 team division can be, Baylor doesn’t exist to the BIG 12 anymore.
* Ohio State is the bell of the BIG 10 ball.
* Oregon has put up gaudy numbers and appears to be the team to beat in the PAC 10, but Stanford and Arizona will have something to say about this.
* The NCAA and its committee that determines player’s eligibility has intervened and presumably affected the outcomes of a handful of games already this year. LSU/North Carolina (14 UNC players out) , all of Georgia’s games (AJ Green 4 game suspension) and in ironic fashion 2 of 3 Ole Miss games (reinstating Jeremiah Masoli for better or worse, apparently for worse).
The beauty of College Football is that in a week or two this list will be antiquated and a list of equal length, boasting equal intrigue yet comprised of completely different story lines will have emerged.
* Scheduling and paying FCS/Division II, or whatever they go by this season, teams to appease the alumni and make your blue chip players feel good about themselves doesn’t always work out – Ask Ole Miss about Jacksonville State and Virginia Tech about James Madison.
* Notre Dame getting bested by a gutsy fake field goal to lose to the other Michigan team (Sparty), aftering falling to Big Blue the week prior, has made it officially 11 years since ND was relevant.
* Tim Tebow will be more missed than many (The Levee included) outsiders thought in Gainesville. Wonder if he could come back and play center?
* The sate of Florida produces speed and more speed. Miami, UF and FSU can only sign so many guys, meaning SFU, CFU, FIU. Fla Atlantic etc end up with some great athletes. Ask Texas A&M about the speed and athleticism at FIU.
* Regardless of where he’s coaching Lane Kiffin is a first class A-hole. Going for 2 all game against Hawaii. Really Lane? We know you’re not better than that, but surely your legend of a father has to be.
* Alabama’s two deep could beat 85 % of the FBS/Division 1 teams in the country.
* Boise State might be for real, they were for a week in everyone’s mind, until Virginia Tech got beat at home by James Madison University. That took a little wind out of the Boise State sails. Should know a little more about the Broncos this week when they get their last, and only the second, test of the season against Oregon State.
* The BIG 12 screwed up (this refers to screw up #1 by the conference, not the subsequent thousands) by taking Baylor over TCU in 1996. This was proven again last weekend when the Frogs out classed the Bears for 60 minutes and close to some 40 points.
* Oklahoma is going to bring their A game every other week this season.
* Tommy Tubberville is NOT going to run the same and/or a possibly improved version of the offense that Mike Leach utilized at Texas Tech. 144 total yards against Texas this year, Tech had over 400 yards passing in this game last year.
* Mark Richt has done Les Miles the biggest favor one coach can do for another besides of course losing to him; he has made his own seat 10 times hotter than Miles seat was a mere three weeks ago.
* If Texas wants to be a part of the conversation when the elite programs are being discussed, a running back must emerge from somewhere. 3 have tried 3 have failed.
* The SEC is clearly the dominant conference; when one power is down a new one rises up. Tennessee down – South Carolina up, Georgia down – Arkansas up. With that said, their internal cannibalism might “bite” them at the end this year.
* Nebraska is heads and shoulders above the next closest challenger in the BIG 12 North. Oklahoma is probably the clear cut leader in the South, but this division is much more wide open. Or as wide open as a 5 team division can be, Baylor doesn’t exist to the BIG 12 anymore.
* Ohio State is the bell of the BIG 10 ball.
* Oregon has put up gaudy numbers and appears to be the team to beat in the PAC 10, but Stanford and Arizona will have something to say about this.
* The NCAA and its committee that determines player’s eligibility has intervened and presumably affected the outcomes of a handful of games already this year. LSU/North Carolina (14 UNC players out) , all of Georgia’s games (AJ Green 4 game suspension) and in ironic fashion 2 of 3 Ole Miss games (reinstating Jeremiah Masoli for better or worse, apparently for worse).
The beauty of College Football is that in a week or two this list will be antiquated and a list of equal length, boasting equal intrigue yet comprised of completely different story lines will have emerged.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Agents, jerseys, $1000 payments, midgets and South Beach…not a Kardashian show but week 2 of college football.
Georgia All-everything WR AJ “gots to get that “Green has been suspended for 4 games because, you’ll never believe this, but for selling his Independence Bowl jersey to a person that the NCAA has deemed to “meet the definition of a sports agent”. There must have been some Aggie maroon smeared on that penny somewhere, otherwise this just makes no sense. Oh it went for $1,000.00 FYI. So AJ sells his jersey, once, for a grand and gets 1/3 of his season taken away, while the University of Georgia currently offers eight different versions of his #8 UGA jersey and only gets 60% of the royalties, which must reach heavy 7 figures. To add more confusion, Marcel Darius at Alabama goes to South Beach not once, but twice on an agent’s dime and gets 2 games to sit and think about it, last time we looked 2 trips to A1A cost a bit more than $1000. More than anything this is just face palming unbelievable. In fact right this second somewhere Jesse Ventura and Mickey Rourke are tossing midgets into oncoming traffic screaming “ONLY IN AMERICA!!”
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The un-official top 25, with 25 - 6 being laid out while 5 - 1 is a complete lay up on our end. Sorry, deal with it, or make your own.
#25 – Auburn – The Tigers are hell bent on reminding the nation that there is football in Alabama not played in Tuscaloosa. With Clemson as the only non-conference game of significance War Eagle will have to run the usual SEC gauntlet but will enjoy a 2 week break before trying to finish what they started last year; that being a beat down of the Crimson Tide. Watch out for Arky State in week one, rumor has it they play a little above their heads opening weekend at large Land Grant D-1 schools.
#24 – Texas A&M – Speaking of Arky State and land grant universities, that all sounds real familiar here. The Aggies should have ended with a better than 6-7 record last year. Loses at Colorado and a gift wrapping to Oklahoma State were inexcusable, but the country a$$ whipping in Manhattan was the peak of the bad. A&M either won handedly or bent over and took it quickly and often. Outside of the Thanksgiving night Jerrod Johnson coming out party, where he was clearly the best QB on the field, Texas A&M was either on the giving side or receiving side of very lopsided affairs. This is good and bad, good because when giving your offense can put up gaudy numbers, bad because when receiving your defense can give up gaudy numbers. Aggie fan knows this well. A switch to the 3-4 defensive scheme hopes to stir the echoes of the great Wrecking Crew Defenses of old. But something tells me John Roper, Aaron Wallace, Quentin Coryatt, Patrick Bates, Sam Adams, Kevin Smith, Aaron Glenn, William Thomas, Marcus Buckley, Keith Mitchell, Brandon Mitchell, Dat Nguyen etc aren’t walking through those doors anytime soon. Christine Michael is one of the best 4 RB’s in the conference, Jeff Fuller is one of the top 5 WR's in the country and will compliment the Aggies deepest and most talented wide receivering corp they've ever had in College Station, scoring wont be an issue, keeping the others from doing so might be.
#23 – West Virginia – Rich Rod who? One can think that Mountaineer fans are okay with losing this loser all the sudden. Although they are still having to deal with some of his past shenanigans, West Virginia will field the most experienced team in the Big East. Notables like speedster Noel Devine and a tough stingy defense that returns 9 starters will help ease the pressure on Sophomore QB Geno Smith. Smith played sparingly last year but missed the spring with a broken foot. Sources say he has the talent, but didn’t we all at one point? A huge late September trip to Baton Rouge could tell us a lot about this team all while providing third class entertainment, swamp trash v. hillbillies. Ultimate question, can they challenge Pitt for Big East supremacy? Don’t overlook back to back games at UConn and two weeks later Cincy at home.
#22 – Utah – The Utes have seemed to surpass their in-state missionary bound brethren to the tune of a PAC-10 invite, only to have BYU responsd by declaring their football independence. Regardless Utah has their eyes focused on the Horned Frogs of TCU and will get a crack at them in Nov. The Utah offense, especially the RB tandem will be leaned on heavily to carry the team due to the need of replenishment on the defense which was picked apart in the last NFL draft. First game against Pitt will tell a lot, but won’t break their season either way. Enjoy the BCS buster title while you got it, because when you start heading west for every game in the PAC-10, the Poinsettia Bowl might become more of a regular reality.
#21 – South Carolina – It’s hard to believe that quarterback guru Steve Spurrier hasn’t had a good one in 5 years at South Carolina. That’s what will need to change for the Gamecocks to rise up and challenge in the SEC East. Stephen Garcia, QB, can look like Ryan Mallet at times and just as quickly turn into Ryan Leaf (NFL Ryan Leaf). Consistency is a must and Spurrier will demand it out of the multi-year starter. An early Labor Day test against Southern Mississippi should be a good litmus test for what Cock fans can expect as they prepare for the rigors of the SEC schedule. The defense should be salty again, even with having to replace NFL bound Eric Norwood and prized recruit Marcus Lattimore should provide a good shot in the arm at the RB position. Here’s hoping they shake up the SEC hierarchy, it’s always fun having a Cock(y) ole ball coach pacing the sidelines. Plus it’s good on the visors to not meet the turf so often.
#20 – Georgia – It’s hard to imagine a guy with a 77% winning percentage over 9 years could be even remotely close to the hot seat. But it’s also hard to think while Mark Richt was accumulating wins his conference foes would have 5 combined BCS National Championships. It is what it is. UGA is replacing the quarterback, but has two quality options, including highly touted incoming freshmen Aaron Murray in the mix. They will also trot out AJ Green, WR, arguably one of the top 5 WR’s in the country, even in the run first minded SEC. One game to keep an eye on is a non-conference trip to Colorado in early October. Georgia is a superior team, but they would be neither the first nor the last team with more talent to go up in the altitude at Boulder and come away with a head scratching loss. Some off the field issues are going to cloud the next few weeks, regardless Coach Richt needs to continue to win and get the best of Florida at that cocktail get together this year. At least the AD at the beginning of the summer took some of the heat off, to the tune that here at the end of the summer he is no longer AD. Cross-hairs back on Richt.
# 19 – Georgia Tech – The smarter more urban cousin of the #20 ranked Georgia team lands at the 19 spot. The rambling wreck from Georgia Tech will continue to run the double-slot option and with an experienced and savvy guy like QB Josh Nesbitt at the helm, the immediate future looks bright. The defending ACC champions and BCS Orange bowl runner-ups (nice way of saying loser) will have to find a way to replace RB Jonathan Dwyer who was drafted last year. For the option to work efficiently it is imperative to have no fewer than two threats, Nesbitt has already been proven as one, so finding a second to compliment him is a must. Now the other side of the ball is a toss-up. In is former NFL and most recently UVA head man, Al Groh as the defensive coordinator. Groh will implement the 3-4 defensive scheme and with some crafty work could have the Jackets contending for the ACC and BCS bowl game again this season.
# 18 – LSU – The bayou Bengals are a real question mark this year. Yes they have the talent, yes they have the conference, yes they have the out of conference schedule, yes they have the home field advantage, yes they have the tradition, but unfortunately for them yes they still have Les Miles. There might not be a warmer seat in the country than the one that Lil Les finds himself perched on and it’s only getting warmer. The tiger faithful are split, half love him and half hate him. Both for good reason, he did bring home a national championship, don’t mind the constant second guessing; from who’s players they were to a 2 loss team playing for the BCS championship. He also has repeatedly puts his players in bad situations, see Ole Miss last year, and has had some odd if not completely confusing things to say over the past 4-5 years. The play of QB Jordan Jefferson was great at times, but down right Jarrett Lee like at times as well. They will field a very talented group of WR’s and defensive secondary, but is that enough to overcome the dreaded Les-factor? An early season date with North Carolina and then a home affair with West Virginia could give the tigers the confidence they need to face and challenge for the talented SEC West.
# 17 – North Carolina – Butch Davis was supposed to turn a basketball crazed school into a semi-interested football school. He was having some success, recruiting well and winning more games, then what seems to be half of the team decided rules didn’t apply to them and we all await word from the NCAA as to what the punishment is going to be. Things along tobacco road are very much up in the air as of print time. A tough but momentum building first game against LSU could or could not have done wonders, depending on who plays, for this team. Red-shirt freshmen QB, Ryan Renner should take the reins either from day one or at some point early in the year and could provide that spark to get over the hump. The defense is stout, but depending on what the NCAA has to say, this unit could be decimated for some huge games (LSU, Georgia Tech and Rutgers). All things being the same the Tar Heels are a top 20 team, so that’s were they will stay.
# 16 – Pittsburgh - They have seen the promise land, just haven’t been able to physically get there. The Panthers had the Big East title in their paws the past few years late into the season only to have it ripped away from lesser, on paper, opponents. Can Wannstedt get this fixed? They have recruited well and field an experienced group starting with record book re-writing RB Dion Lewis, he had close to 1,800 yards last season. Expect Big East foes to pay a bit more attention to him this year. If other teams do in fact commit too much to stop the run, the Panthers can make them pay with their deep and talented WR’s. Starting with All-Conference wide-out Jonathan Baldwin, he along with a fellow 6’5” wide receiver Mike Shanahan should be a formidable duo. The defense should not miss a step even with the departure of both DE’s. The unit led the nation in sacks last year and looks to build on experience.
# 15 – Arkansas – It has been a long time since the Hogs have entered a fall sport season with so much hype, hope and wooo piiiiigg soooiiiee hysteria. It could all be for good reason or it could all be for not. A lot of this lies squarely on the cannon that sits in place of a right arm on QB Ryan Mallett. The super sized signal caller can and will whip the ball all over the field and the scary thing for opponents is that his WR’s are the best they’ve been in his tenure. Couple this with Bobby “packed and out of town” Petrino’s offensive wizardry and even Arky fans can do this math. Pig fans and players will know soon enough with early season conference tests against Georgia and Alabama, followed up with an old Southwest Conference showdown against Texas A&M at Jerry’s little do-hicky over in Arlington whether the hype and hysteria was worth crawling out of the trailer for. All the offense in the world though can’t win them all in the SEC; the Hogs D will need to step-up and try to pull their weight for the title hoping hogs to have a chance.
# 14 – Miami – The U is working their way towards to the side of the rankings that had become commonplace in South Beach for some time. Miami’s season won’t solely hinge on QB Jacory Harris, but his play will dictate the way of the season more than any other individual player on the team. The junior to be who threw for more than 3,000 yards last year but will need to study his teams uniforms and color combos better this year and draw down from 17 interceptions last year. The RB position is stacked as is to be expected at Miami, however the one time tight end churning out machine that is the U, is in need of an impact TE this season. The Canes D is being built up pretty high but those that have seen them, which will be imperative as they go to Ohio State, to Pittsburgh and to Clemson in their first 4 games. The reigning Big East Co-champs look to continue the climb in the right direction, Randy Shannon surely could use it.
#13 – Oregon – There hasn’t been an opportunity like this for the Ducks in a long time and that is after winning the league last year to then have the NCAA help out a little and take the air out of the USC balloon, thus giving Oregon a chance to put a little bit of a run together here. The offense is loaded with playmakers, only problem is the guy that sparked that offensive engine decided stealing from frat houses and possessing bad things was more important, thus Jeremiah Masoli the key cog in the Oregon O, is in Oxford Mississippi (not playing football FYI). RB LaMichael James is very good, posting over 1,500 yards as a sophomore. Add to that an impressive haul of freshmen to be RB’s including Lache Seastrunk, one of the best Texas high school RB recruits, and the Oregon O should be okay. The Defense will be fast, that coupled with the return of 8 starters should help the Ducks keep their heads above water, while the offense finds a groove. An early road trip to Tennessee looks so good on paper but should turn into a very one sided affair. The trip to USC in October should be good; will the Trojans look to play spoiler or just another stop along the Ducks title trail?
# 12 – Nebraska – Big Red was debatably 1 additional second away from stunning the nation and winning the Big 12 championship last year, but that’s all in past, unless you ask any single Cornhusker on the planet. Regardless, Neb could be good to great and will do everything they can to win the last Big 12 championship they will ever care about. Dr. Tom Osborne gets his wish to move to the Big 10 and the Pelini boys/Nebraska players/Husker-nation get their collective wish to play Texas in Lincoln in October. It’s safe to say that the vaunted Black Shirt defense is alive and well in Lincoln and will be depended on to carry Neb as far as they will go this season. The departure of Ndamukong Suh has opened the door for DT Jared Crick to shine or show that any able bodied person could look good while Suh commanded double and triple teams. The QB position is wide open, last years starter Zac Lee, up and coming Cody Green or redshirt freshman Taylor Martinez all have a shot at the position. The RB spot will be a semi-group effort as well, with two smaller scat back types, Roy Helu and Rex Burkhead getting totes. If Big Red hopes to leave the remaining Big 12 wanting more and head north with the league title, because they will win the North, they will have to rely on a heavy does of Pelini D.
# 11 – Penn State – Funny Joe Pa comment here, after 75 years all the snark has been played and is beyond tired, much like Joe Pa! Bam, snuck one in. QB is up in the air, 3 guys vying for the spot but only one has completed a collegiate pass. Conversely the RB position is the most solid spot on the field, All-American candidate Evan Royster has put together back to back 1,000 yard seasons and could potentially leave State College as the schools all time leading rusher. That is saying a lot. The Defense will have the task of replacing not only the Big 10 Defensive player of the year, but also 5 other vacated positions. The truest test will come and come quick with a trip south to Tuscaloosa to tango with the defending national champions. They might have gotten a recent break with Mark Ingram RB-Alabama, having a knee scoped 13 days prior to this match-up. Then of course the Big 10 usuals, @ Iowa and @ Ohio State. A Big 10 title will take some over achieving, but they don’t have to look further than their own coach for that inspiration.
# 10 – Wisconsin – Carry bowl victory momentum into the next season, that is the hope and need for Badger fans and team alike. A good win over Miami in the Champs Sports Bowl should provide that encouragement and confidence that they will need to challenge for the Big10 title. Knowing that you faced down the speed of The U, surely makes you feel good about the cement shoed Big 10. The offense that led the Big 10 in scoring, rushing and total offense is pretty much still intact and returning. The defense must replace two keystones from a unit that held 10 opponents to under 100 yards rushing last year, but expects J.J. Watt and Louis Nzegwu to solidify the group. The end of October will tell the tale for Whiskey, with Ohio State in Madison followed with a road trip to Iowa City, Iowa, run that little gauntlet and the skies the limit. A split here is a must for any hope of a conference championship.
# 9 – Virginia Tech – This could be a moot point after the first full weekend of football as Va. Tech squares off against Boise State in a match-up of two pre-season top 10 programs creating by far the best game for the opening weekend. As has become the norm Coach Beamer will roll out an explosive offense with elite playmakers at key positions. Tyrod Taylor, QB has been there done that and will only get better with age. The RB duo of Ryan Williams and Darren Evens will ensure a fresh set of legs through the 4th quarter and both could start just about anywhere in the country. The defense is fast, in fact as fast as defensive coordinator Bud Foster can remember, but they are also highly inexperienced, can the speed and athleticism make up for what lacks between the ears? Again they will be tested and a lot more will be known before the 7th day of September. The ACC is tougher, but the Hokies expect to be in the mix until the very end.
# 8 – Texas – Contrary to what many thought would happen when legend Vince Young left and little aw shucks Colt McCoy took over, there was no huge drop off, in fact outside of a MNC many would say they got better as a whole. Well can the Horns get that lucky again? Blue chip QB Garrett Gilbert will take over the reins for Mack Browns offense, shockingly enough; he is not the biggest question mark coming into 2010. The RB situation at Texas has many down right fearful. Whether it was misses on the recruiting trail, which is not a Mack Brown trait, or a lack of development, the Horns are left with a running game by committee. They will compensate for that with a big arm QB and a stable of highly able WR’s. On Defense, coach in purgatory Will Muschamp lost some fire power, but with what has become the norm in Austin will simply plug in another 4-5 star recruit who has patiently been waiting. Sam Acho will be the king pin for the front 7 while the secondary is where Texas can really flex its muscle. The Texas secondary will display 2-3 DB’s that posses NFL type lock down coverage ability, Chykie Brown, Curtis Brown and Aaron Williams. While blue collar/lunch pail work ethic, coach on the field, first to arrive last to leave, son of a coach, gym rat and gutty Blake Gideon will start his 3rd year at FS. All eyes, not just the eyes of Texas, will be on the Cotton Bowl that first week of October, the winner there could very well be playing for the National Championship.
# 7 – Oklahoma – Life is good in Norman, sans the constant tornado threat and bitterly cold winters, the Sooners will once again field a team of the who’s who of college football talent. Imagine having 3 guys drafted in the top 10 of the NFL draft and feeling like you might unleash a better team next year. This is the reality that Bob Stoops has created and gets to enjoy. Landry Jones, QB, who took over after Sam Bradford went down early last year has plenty of game and big game experience and he will be above adequate if not quite good. The supporting cast is what could take OU to the highest level, RB Demarco Murray, who when healthy and motivated can take a game over, will look to solidify his draft status with a huge senior campaign. On the outside Ryan Broyles WR, will hope to build on his single-season reception record of 89 catches and that was with missing two games, he can also beat you in the kicking game. On defense Oklahoma will be imposing as usual, replacing Gerald McCoy should be tough, but Jeremy Beal is up for the task. Linebacker Travis Lewis is the sole returning starter at LB, but is flanked by hard hitting Ronnell Lewis and much hyped Tow Wort. A second week tussle with Florida State will give a good idea as to where this team stands along with that county fair game in Dallas.
# 6 – TCU – This ranking is due more in part to the schedule and the Frogs ability to navigate it with ease versus the dominance of the team and its athletes. Servicable Andy Dalton goes into his senior year with hopes of joing the likes of Sammy Baugh and becoming a legend in Ft. Worth. A return trip to a BCS bowl could do just that, but to make a title run which is in the minds of many TCU fans minds, they will need another perfect season and then a little help. The Frogs will have their toughest test right out of the box, in a “neutral” site home game at Jerry Jones’s Cowboys Stadium against the always willing and able party spoilers Oregon State. After that game it’s pretty smooth sailing until an early November date with Utah, this could determine the Mountain West champion as well as the at large BCS bid. The stats are somewhat skewed based on quality of opponents, but it’s hard to argue with the #1 ranking at defense from last year. Head coach Gary Patterson is truly the mind behind this and looks to have another stout group to shut down MWC foes. Many feel even an undefeated TCU will get jumped by a one loss BCS automatic qualifier team, either way there is one certainty, a 1 loss TCU team won’t even be in the conversation, so that means one thing, don’t lose.
# 5 – Iowa – See Wisconsin and replace with Iowa
# 4 – Boise State – See TCU and replace with Boise State
# 3 – Ohio State – See Iowa/Wisconsin and replace with Ohio State
# 2 – Alabama – Will be real good, but will sit back on their laurels just enough to let Florida sneak past them.
# 1 – Florida – They are just that good and truthfully, Tebow might have actually hurt them at the end last year.
#24 – Texas A&M – Speaking of Arky State and land grant universities, that all sounds real familiar here. The Aggies should have ended with a better than 6-7 record last year. Loses at Colorado and a gift wrapping to Oklahoma State were inexcusable, but the country a$$ whipping in Manhattan was the peak of the bad. A&M either won handedly or bent over and took it quickly and often. Outside of the Thanksgiving night Jerrod Johnson coming out party, where he was clearly the best QB on the field, Texas A&M was either on the giving side or receiving side of very lopsided affairs. This is good and bad, good because when giving your offense can put up gaudy numbers, bad because when receiving your defense can give up gaudy numbers. Aggie fan knows this well. A switch to the 3-4 defensive scheme hopes to stir the echoes of the great Wrecking Crew Defenses of old. But something tells me John Roper, Aaron Wallace, Quentin Coryatt, Patrick Bates, Sam Adams, Kevin Smith, Aaron Glenn, William Thomas, Marcus Buckley, Keith Mitchell, Brandon Mitchell, Dat Nguyen etc aren’t walking through those doors anytime soon. Christine Michael is one of the best 4 RB’s in the conference, Jeff Fuller is one of the top 5 WR's in the country and will compliment the Aggies deepest and most talented wide receivering corp they've ever had in College Station, scoring wont be an issue, keeping the others from doing so might be.
#23 – West Virginia – Rich Rod who? One can think that Mountaineer fans are okay with losing this loser all the sudden. Although they are still having to deal with some of his past shenanigans, West Virginia will field the most experienced team in the Big East. Notables like speedster Noel Devine and a tough stingy defense that returns 9 starters will help ease the pressure on Sophomore QB Geno Smith. Smith played sparingly last year but missed the spring with a broken foot. Sources say he has the talent, but didn’t we all at one point? A huge late September trip to Baton Rouge could tell us a lot about this team all while providing third class entertainment, swamp trash v. hillbillies. Ultimate question, can they challenge Pitt for Big East supremacy? Don’t overlook back to back games at UConn and two weeks later Cincy at home.
#22 – Utah – The Utes have seemed to surpass their in-state missionary bound brethren to the tune of a PAC-10 invite, only to have BYU responsd by declaring their football independence. Regardless Utah has their eyes focused on the Horned Frogs of TCU and will get a crack at them in Nov. The Utah offense, especially the RB tandem will be leaned on heavily to carry the team due to the need of replenishment on the defense which was picked apart in the last NFL draft. First game against Pitt will tell a lot, but won’t break their season either way. Enjoy the BCS buster title while you got it, because when you start heading west for every game in the PAC-10, the Poinsettia Bowl might become more of a regular reality.
#21 – South Carolina – It’s hard to believe that quarterback guru Steve Spurrier hasn’t had a good one in 5 years at South Carolina. That’s what will need to change for the Gamecocks to rise up and challenge in the SEC East. Stephen Garcia, QB, can look like Ryan Mallet at times and just as quickly turn into Ryan Leaf (NFL Ryan Leaf). Consistency is a must and Spurrier will demand it out of the multi-year starter. An early Labor Day test against Southern Mississippi should be a good litmus test for what Cock fans can expect as they prepare for the rigors of the SEC schedule. The defense should be salty again, even with having to replace NFL bound Eric Norwood and prized recruit Marcus Lattimore should provide a good shot in the arm at the RB position. Here’s hoping they shake up the SEC hierarchy, it’s always fun having a Cock(y) ole ball coach pacing the sidelines. Plus it’s good on the visors to not meet the turf so often.
#20 – Georgia – It’s hard to imagine a guy with a 77% winning percentage over 9 years could be even remotely close to the hot seat. But it’s also hard to think while Mark Richt was accumulating wins his conference foes would have 5 combined BCS National Championships. It is what it is. UGA is replacing the quarterback, but has two quality options, including highly touted incoming freshmen Aaron Murray in the mix. They will also trot out AJ Green, WR, arguably one of the top 5 WR’s in the country, even in the run first minded SEC. One game to keep an eye on is a non-conference trip to Colorado in early October. Georgia is a superior team, but they would be neither the first nor the last team with more talent to go up in the altitude at Boulder and come away with a head scratching loss. Some off the field issues are going to cloud the next few weeks, regardless Coach Richt needs to continue to win and get the best of Florida at that cocktail get together this year. At least the AD at the beginning of the summer took some of the heat off, to the tune that here at the end of the summer he is no longer AD. Cross-hairs back on Richt.
# 19 – Georgia Tech – The smarter more urban cousin of the #20 ranked Georgia team lands at the 19 spot. The rambling wreck from Georgia Tech will continue to run the double-slot option and with an experienced and savvy guy like QB Josh Nesbitt at the helm, the immediate future looks bright. The defending ACC champions and BCS Orange bowl runner-ups (nice way of saying loser) will have to find a way to replace RB Jonathan Dwyer who was drafted last year. For the option to work efficiently it is imperative to have no fewer than two threats, Nesbitt has already been proven as one, so finding a second to compliment him is a must. Now the other side of the ball is a toss-up. In is former NFL and most recently UVA head man, Al Groh as the defensive coordinator. Groh will implement the 3-4 defensive scheme and with some crafty work could have the Jackets contending for the ACC and BCS bowl game again this season.
# 18 – LSU – The bayou Bengals are a real question mark this year. Yes they have the talent, yes they have the conference, yes they have the out of conference schedule, yes they have the home field advantage, yes they have the tradition, but unfortunately for them yes they still have Les Miles. There might not be a warmer seat in the country than the one that Lil Les finds himself perched on and it’s only getting warmer. The tiger faithful are split, half love him and half hate him. Both for good reason, he did bring home a national championship, don’t mind the constant second guessing; from who’s players they were to a 2 loss team playing for the BCS championship. He also has repeatedly puts his players in bad situations, see Ole Miss last year, and has had some odd if not completely confusing things to say over the past 4-5 years. The play of QB Jordan Jefferson was great at times, but down right Jarrett Lee like at times as well. They will field a very talented group of WR’s and defensive secondary, but is that enough to overcome the dreaded Les-factor? An early season date with North Carolina and then a home affair with West Virginia could give the tigers the confidence they need to face and challenge for the talented SEC West.
# 17 – North Carolina – Butch Davis was supposed to turn a basketball crazed school into a semi-interested football school. He was having some success, recruiting well and winning more games, then what seems to be half of the team decided rules didn’t apply to them and we all await word from the NCAA as to what the punishment is going to be. Things along tobacco road are very much up in the air as of print time. A tough but momentum building first game against LSU could or could not have done wonders, depending on who plays, for this team. Red-shirt freshmen QB, Ryan Renner should take the reins either from day one or at some point early in the year and could provide that spark to get over the hump. The defense is stout, but depending on what the NCAA has to say, this unit could be decimated for some huge games (LSU, Georgia Tech and Rutgers). All things being the same the Tar Heels are a top 20 team, so that’s were they will stay.
# 16 – Pittsburgh - They have seen the promise land, just haven’t been able to physically get there. The Panthers had the Big East title in their paws the past few years late into the season only to have it ripped away from lesser, on paper, opponents. Can Wannstedt get this fixed? They have recruited well and field an experienced group starting with record book re-writing RB Dion Lewis, he had close to 1,800 yards last season. Expect Big East foes to pay a bit more attention to him this year. If other teams do in fact commit too much to stop the run, the Panthers can make them pay with their deep and talented WR’s. Starting with All-Conference wide-out Jonathan Baldwin, he along with a fellow 6’5” wide receiver Mike Shanahan should be a formidable duo. The defense should not miss a step even with the departure of both DE’s. The unit led the nation in sacks last year and looks to build on experience.
# 15 – Arkansas – It has been a long time since the Hogs have entered a fall sport season with so much hype, hope and wooo piiiiigg soooiiiee hysteria. It could all be for good reason or it could all be for not. A lot of this lies squarely on the cannon that sits in place of a right arm on QB Ryan Mallett. The super sized signal caller can and will whip the ball all over the field and the scary thing for opponents is that his WR’s are the best they’ve been in his tenure. Couple this with Bobby “packed and out of town” Petrino’s offensive wizardry and even Arky fans can do this math. Pig fans and players will know soon enough with early season conference tests against Georgia and Alabama, followed up with an old Southwest Conference showdown against Texas A&M at Jerry’s little do-hicky over in Arlington whether the hype and hysteria was worth crawling out of the trailer for. All the offense in the world though can’t win them all in the SEC; the Hogs D will need to step-up and try to pull their weight for the title hoping hogs to have a chance.
# 14 – Miami – The U is working their way towards to the side of the rankings that had become commonplace in South Beach for some time. Miami’s season won’t solely hinge on QB Jacory Harris, but his play will dictate the way of the season more than any other individual player on the team. The junior to be who threw for more than 3,000 yards last year but will need to study his teams uniforms and color combos better this year and draw down from 17 interceptions last year. The RB position is stacked as is to be expected at Miami, however the one time tight end churning out machine that is the U, is in need of an impact TE this season. The Canes D is being built up pretty high but those that have seen them, which will be imperative as they go to Ohio State, to Pittsburgh and to Clemson in their first 4 games. The reigning Big East Co-champs look to continue the climb in the right direction, Randy Shannon surely could use it.
#13 – Oregon – There hasn’t been an opportunity like this for the Ducks in a long time and that is after winning the league last year to then have the NCAA help out a little and take the air out of the USC balloon, thus giving Oregon a chance to put a little bit of a run together here. The offense is loaded with playmakers, only problem is the guy that sparked that offensive engine decided stealing from frat houses and possessing bad things was more important, thus Jeremiah Masoli the key cog in the Oregon O, is in Oxford Mississippi (not playing football FYI). RB LaMichael James is very good, posting over 1,500 yards as a sophomore. Add to that an impressive haul of freshmen to be RB’s including Lache Seastrunk, one of the best Texas high school RB recruits, and the Oregon O should be okay. The Defense will be fast, that coupled with the return of 8 starters should help the Ducks keep their heads above water, while the offense finds a groove. An early road trip to Tennessee looks so good on paper but should turn into a very one sided affair. The trip to USC in October should be good; will the Trojans look to play spoiler or just another stop along the Ducks title trail?
# 12 – Nebraska – Big Red was debatably 1 additional second away from stunning the nation and winning the Big 12 championship last year, but that’s all in past, unless you ask any single Cornhusker on the planet. Regardless, Neb could be good to great and will do everything they can to win the last Big 12 championship they will ever care about. Dr. Tom Osborne gets his wish to move to the Big 10 and the Pelini boys/Nebraska players/Husker-nation get their collective wish to play Texas in Lincoln in October. It’s safe to say that the vaunted Black Shirt defense is alive and well in Lincoln and will be depended on to carry Neb as far as they will go this season. The departure of Ndamukong Suh has opened the door for DT Jared Crick to shine or show that any able bodied person could look good while Suh commanded double and triple teams. The QB position is wide open, last years starter Zac Lee, up and coming Cody Green or redshirt freshman Taylor Martinez all have a shot at the position. The RB spot will be a semi-group effort as well, with two smaller scat back types, Roy Helu and Rex Burkhead getting totes. If Big Red hopes to leave the remaining Big 12 wanting more and head north with the league title, because they will win the North, they will have to rely on a heavy does of Pelini D.
# 11 – Penn State – Funny Joe Pa comment here, after 75 years all the snark has been played and is beyond tired, much like Joe Pa! Bam, snuck one in. QB is up in the air, 3 guys vying for the spot but only one has completed a collegiate pass. Conversely the RB position is the most solid spot on the field, All-American candidate Evan Royster has put together back to back 1,000 yard seasons and could potentially leave State College as the schools all time leading rusher. That is saying a lot. The Defense will have the task of replacing not only the Big 10 Defensive player of the year, but also 5 other vacated positions. The truest test will come and come quick with a trip south to Tuscaloosa to tango with the defending national champions. They might have gotten a recent break with Mark Ingram RB-Alabama, having a knee scoped 13 days prior to this match-up. Then of course the Big 10 usuals, @ Iowa and @ Ohio State. A Big 10 title will take some over achieving, but they don’t have to look further than their own coach for that inspiration.
# 10 – Wisconsin – Carry bowl victory momentum into the next season, that is the hope and need for Badger fans and team alike. A good win over Miami in the Champs Sports Bowl should provide that encouragement and confidence that they will need to challenge for the Big10 title. Knowing that you faced down the speed of The U, surely makes you feel good about the cement shoed Big 10. The offense that led the Big 10 in scoring, rushing and total offense is pretty much still intact and returning. The defense must replace two keystones from a unit that held 10 opponents to under 100 yards rushing last year, but expects J.J. Watt and Louis Nzegwu to solidify the group. The end of October will tell the tale for Whiskey, with Ohio State in Madison followed with a road trip to Iowa City, Iowa, run that little gauntlet and the skies the limit. A split here is a must for any hope of a conference championship.
# 9 – Virginia Tech – This could be a moot point after the first full weekend of football as Va. Tech squares off against Boise State in a match-up of two pre-season top 10 programs creating by far the best game for the opening weekend. As has become the norm Coach Beamer will roll out an explosive offense with elite playmakers at key positions. Tyrod Taylor, QB has been there done that and will only get better with age. The RB duo of Ryan Williams and Darren Evens will ensure a fresh set of legs through the 4th quarter and both could start just about anywhere in the country. The defense is fast, in fact as fast as defensive coordinator Bud Foster can remember, but they are also highly inexperienced, can the speed and athleticism make up for what lacks between the ears? Again they will be tested and a lot more will be known before the 7th day of September. The ACC is tougher, but the Hokies expect to be in the mix until the very end.
# 8 – Texas – Contrary to what many thought would happen when legend Vince Young left and little aw shucks Colt McCoy took over, there was no huge drop off, in fact outside of a MNC many would say they got better as a whole. Well can the Horns get that lucky again? Blue chip QB Garrett Gilbert will take over the reins for Mack Browns offense, shockingly enough; he is not the biggest question mark coming into 2010. The RB situation at Texas has many down right fearful. Whether it was misses on the recruiting trail, which is not a Mack Brown trait, or a lack of development, the Horns are left with a running game by committee. They will compensate for that with a big arm QB and a stable of highly able WR’s. On Defense, coach in purgatory Will Muschamp lost some fire power, but with what has become the norm in Austin will simply plug in another 4-5 star recruit who has patiently been waiting. Sam Acho will be the king pin for the front 7 while the secondary is where Texas can really flex its muscle. The Texas secondary will display 2-3 DB’s that posses NFL type lock down coverage ability, Chykie Brown, Curtis Brown and Aaron Williams. While blue collar/lunch pail work ethic, coach on the field, first to arrive last to leave, son of a coach, gym rat and gutty Blake Gideon will start his 3rd year at FS. All eyes, not just the eyes of Texas, will be on the Cotton Bowl that first week of October, the winner there could very well be playing for the National Championship.
# 7 – Oklahoma – Life is good in Norman, sans the constant tornado threat and bitterly cold winters, the Sooners will once again field a team of the who’s who of college football talent. Imagine having 3 guys drafted in the top 10 of the NFL draft and feeling like you might unleash a better team next year. This is the reality that Bob Stoops has created and gets to enjoy. Landry Jones, QB, who took over after Sam Bradford went down early last year has plenty of game and big game experience and he will be above adequate if not quite good. The supporting cast is what could take OU to the highest level, RB Demarco Murray, who when healthy and motivated can take a game over, will look to solidify his draft status with a huge senior campaign. On the outside Ryan Broyles WR, will hope to build on his single-season reception record of 89 catches and that was with missing two games, he can also beat you in the kicking game. On defense Oklahoma will be imposing as usual, replacing Gerald McCoy should be tough, but Jeremy Beal is up for the task. Linebacker Travis Lewis is the sole returning starter at LB, but is flanked by hard hitting Ronnell Lewis and much hyped Tow Wort. A second week tussle with Florida State will give a good idea as to where this team stands along with that county fair game in Dallas.
# 6 – TCU – This ranking is due more in part to the schedule and the Frogs ability to navigate it with ease versus the dominance of the team and its athletes. Servicable Andy Dalton goes into his senior year with hopes of joing the likes of Sammy Baugh and becoming a legend in Ft. Worth. A return trip to a BCS bowl could do just that, but to make a title run which is in the minds of many TCU fans minds, they will need another perfect season and then a little help. The Frogs will have their toughest test right out of the box, in a “neutral” site home game at Jerry Jones’s Cowboys Stadium against the always willing and able party spoilers Oregon State. After that game it’s pretty smooth sailing until an early November date with Utah, this could determine the Mountain West champion as well as the at large BCS bid. The stats are somewhat skewed based on quality of opponents, but it’s hard to argue with the #1 ranking at defense from last year. Head coach Gary Patterson is truly the mind behind this and looks to have another stout group to shut down MWC foes. Many feel even an undefeated TCU will get jumped by a one loss BCS automatic qualifier team, either way there is one certainty, a 1 loss TCU team won’t even be in the conversation, so that means one thing, don’t lose.
# 5 – Iowa – See Wisconsin and replace with Iowa
# 4 – Boise State – See TCU and replace with Boise State
# 3 – Ohio State – See Iowa/Wisconsin and replace with Ohio State
# 2 – Alabama – Will be real good, but will sit back on their laurels just enough to let Florida sneak past them.
# 1 – Florida – They are just that good and truthfully, Tebow might have actually hurt them at the end last year.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Ole Miss and Jeremiah Masoli denied by the NCAA
NCAA denies former Oregon QB and presumed current Ole Miss QB Jeremiah Masoli a waver to play immediately for the Rebels. Jeremiah was hoping to not have to sit out due to a semi-loop hole in the NCAA transfer rules. The NCAA will allow a student-athlete who has graduated undergrad to transfer and play immediately at a new school, if the new school offers a post grad degree program that was not offered by the school where the undergrad course work was done. Sense Jeremiah was kicked out of Oregon, he had to find a school that offered such a situation so that he could avoid the mandatory 1 year transfer sit-out rule, which explains how the American Samoan found his way to very land locked Oxford Mississippi. Either way, the NCAA has allegedly denied this waiver and has Nutt and company scrambling, very much like they were hoping to have Masoli do for them this year.
Monday, August 30, 2010
The based off of last year, derived from history, made to sell magazines, PRE-season top 25 list
As has become custom and surely soon to be emulated the country over, this list will be slowly released 5 -6 teams at a time until the #1 team is revealed. If you don't like any part of it, feel free to use your Google function and read one of the other 1200 top 25 lists out there.
#25 – Auburn – The Tigers are hell bent on reminding the nation that there is football in Alabama not played in Tuscaloosa. With Clemson as the only non-conference game of significance War Eagle will have to run the usual SEC gauntlet but will enjoy a 2 week break before trying to finish what they started last year; that being a beat down of the Crimson Tide. Watch out for Arky State in week one, rumor has it they play a little above their heads opening weekend at large Land Grant D-1 schools.
#24 – Texas A&M – Speaking of Arky State and land grant universities, that all sounds real familiar here. The Aggies should have ended with a better than 6-7 record last year. Loses at Colorado and a gift wrapping to Oklahoma State were inexcusable, but the country a$$ whipping in Manhattan was the peak of the bad. A&M either won handedly or bent over and took it quickly and often. Outside of the Thanksgiving night Jerrod Johnson coming out party, where he was clearly the best QB on the field, Texas A&M was either on the giving side or receiving side of very lopsided affairs. This is good and bad, good because when giving your offense can put up gaudy numbers, bad because when receiving your defense can give up gaudy numbers. Aggie fan knows this well. A switch to the 3-4 defensive scheme hopes to stir the echoes of the great Wrecking Crew Defenses of old. But something tells me John Roper, Aaron Wallace, Quentin Coryatt, Patrick Bates, Sam Adams, Kevin Smith, Aaron Glenn, William Thomas, Marcus Buckley, Keith Mitchell, Brandon Mitchell, Dat Nguyen etc aren’t walking through those doors anytime soon. Christine Michael is one of the best 4 RB’s in the conference, Jeff Fuller is one of the top 5 WR's in the country and will compliment the Aggies deepest and most talented wide receivering corp they've ever had in College Station, scoring wont be an issue, keeping the others from doing so might be.
#23 – West Virginia – Rich Rod who? One can think that Mountaineer fans are okay with losing this loser all the sudden. Although they are still having to deal with some of his past shenanigans, West Virginia will field the most experienced team in the Big East. Notables like speedster Noel Devine and a tough stingy defense that returns 9 starters will help ease the pressure on Sophomore QB Geno Smith. Smith played sparingly last year but missed the spring with a broken foot. Sources say he has the talent, but didn’t we all at one point? A huge late September trip to Baton Rouge could tell us a lot about this team all while providing third class entertainment, swamp trash v. hillbillies. Ultimate question, can they challenge Pitt for Big East supremacy? Don’t overlook back to back games at UConn and two weeks later Cincy at home.
#22 – Utah – The Utes have seemed to surpass their in-state missionary bound brethren to the tune of a PAC-10 invite, only to have BYU responsd by declaring their football independence. Regardless Utah has their eyes focused on the Horned Frogs of TCU and will get a crack at them in Nov. The Utah offense, especially the RB tandem will be leaned on heavily to carry the team due to the need of replenishment on the defense which was picked apart in the last NFL draft. First game against Pitt will tell a lot, but won’t break their season either way. Enjoy the BCS buster title while you got it, because when you start heading west for every game in the PAC-10, the Poinsettia Bowl might become more of a regular reality.
#21 – South Carolina – It’s hard to believe that quarterback guru Steve Spurrier hasn’t had a good one in 5 years at South Carolina. That’s what will need to change for the Gamecocks to rise up and challenge in the SEC East. Stephen Garcia, QB, can look like Ryan Mallet at times and just as quickly turn into Ryan Leaf (NFL Ryan Leaf). Consistency is a must and Spurrier will demand it out of the multi-year starter. An early Labor Day test against Southern Mississippi should be a good litmus test for what Cock fans can expect as they prepare for the rigors of the SEC schedule. The defense should be salty again, even with having to replace NFL bound Eric Norwood and prized recruit Marcus Lattimore should provide a good shot in the arm at the RB position. Here’s hoping they shake up the SEC hierarchy, it’s always fun having a Cock(y) ole ball coach pacing the sidelines. Plus it’s good on the visors to not meet the turf so often.
#20 – Georgia – It’s hard to imagine a guy with a 77% winning percentage over 9 years could be even remotely close to the hot seat. But it’s also hard to think while Mark Richt was accumulating wins his conference foes would have 5 combined BCS National Championships. It is what it is. UGA is replacing the quarterback, but has two quality options, including highly touted incoming freshmen Aaron Murray in the mix. They will also trot out AJ Green, WR, arguably one of the top 5 WR’s in the country, even in the run first minded SEC. One game to keep an eye on is a non-conference trip to Colorado in early October. Georgia is a superior team, but they would be neither the first nor the last team with more talent to go up in the altitude at Boulder and come away with a head scratching loss. Some off the field issues are going to cloud the next few weeks, regardless Coach Richt needs to continue to win and get the best of Florida at that cocktail get together this year. At least the AD at the beginning of the summer took some of the heat off, to the tune that here at the end of the summer he is no longer AD. Cross-hairs back on Richt.
#19 – Georgia Tech – The smarter more urban cousin of the #20 ranked Georgia team lands at the 19 spot. The rambling wreck from Georgia Tech will continue to run the double-slot option and with an experienced and savvy guy like QB Josh Nesbitt at the helm, the immediate future looks bright. The defending ACC champions and BCS Orange bowl runner-ups (nice way of saying loser) will have to find a way to replace RB Jonathan Dwyer who was drafted last year. For the option to work efficiently it is imperative to have no fewer than two threats, Nesbitt has already been proven as one, so finding a second to compliment him is a must. Now the other side of the ball is a toss-up. In is former NFL and most recently UVA head man, Al Groh as the defensive coordinator. Groh will implement the 3-4 defensive scheme and with some crafty work could have the Jackets contending for the ACC and BCS bowl game again this season.
#18 – LSU – The bayou Bengals are a real question mark this year. Yes they have the talent, yes they have the conference, yes they have the out of conference schedule, yes they have the home field advantage, yes they have the tradition, but unfortunately for them yes they still have Les Miles. There might not be a warmer seat in the country than the one that Lil Les finds himself perched on and it’s only getting warmer. The tiger faithful are split, half love him and half hate him. Both for good reason, he did bring home a national championship, don’t mind the constant second guessing; from who’s players they were to a 2 loss team playing for the BCS championship. He also has repeatedly puts his players in bad situations, see Ole Miss last year, and has had some odd if not completely confusing things to say over the past 4-5 years. The play of QB Jordan Jefferson was great at times, but down right Jarrett Lee like at times as well. They will field a very talented group of WR’s and defensive secondary, but is that enough to overcome the dreaded Les-factor? An early season date with North Carolina and then a home affair with West Virginia could give the tigers the confidence they need to face and challenge for the talented SEC West.
#17 – North Carolina – Butch Davis was supposed to turn a basketball crazed school into a semi-interested football school. He was having some success, recruiting well and winning more games, then what seems to be half of the team decided rules didn’t apply to them and we all await word from the NCAA as to what the punishment is going to be. Things along tobacco road are very much up in the air as of print time. A tough but momentum building first game against LSU could or could not have done wonders, depending on who plays, for this team. Red-shirt freshmen QB, Ryan Renner should take the reins either from day one or at some point early in the year and could provide that spark to get over the hump. The defense is stout, but depending on what the NCAA has to say, this unit could be decimated for some huge games (LSU, Georgia Tech and Rutgers). All things being the same the Tar Heels are a top 20 team, so that’s were they will stay.
#16 – Pittsburgh - They have seen the promise land, just haven’t been able to physically get there. The Panthers had the Big East title in their paws the past few years late into the season only to have it ripped away from lesser, on paper, opponents. Can Wannstedt get this fixed? They have recruited well and field an experienced group starting with record book re-writing RB Dion Lewis, he had close to 1,800 yards last season. Expect Big East foes to pay a bit more attention to him this year. If other teams do in fact commit too much to stop the run, the Panthers can make them pay with their deep and talented WR’s. Starting with All-Conference wide-out Jonathan Baldwin, he along with a fellow 6’5” wide receiver Mike Shanahan should be a formidable duo. The defense should not miss a step even with the departure of both DE’s. The unit led the nation in sacks last year and looks to build on experience.
#15 – Arkansas – It has been a long time since the Hogs have entered a fall sport season with so much hype, hope and wooo piiiiigg soooiiiee hysteria. It could all be for good reason or it could all be for not. A lot of this lies squarely on the cannon that sits in place of a right arm on QB Ryan Mallett. The super sized signal caller can and will whip the ball all over the field and the scary thing for opponents is that his WR’s are the best they’ve been in his tenure. Couple this with Bobby “packed and out of town” Petrino’s offensive wizardry and even Arky fans can do this math. Pig fans and players will know soon enough with early season conference tests against Georgia and Alabama, followed up with an old Southwest Conference showdown against Texas A&M at Jerry’s little do-hicky over in Arlington whether the hype and hysteria was worth crawling out of the trailer for. All the offense in the world though can’t win them all in the SEC; the Hogs D will need to step-up and try to pull their weight for the title hoping hogs to have a chance.
#25 – Auburn – The Tigers are hell bent on reminding the nation that there is football in Alabama not played in Tuscaloosa. With Clemson as the only non-conference game of significance War Eagle will have to run the usual SEC gauntlet but will enjoy a 2 week break before trying to finish what they started last year; that being a beat down of the Crimson Tide. Watch out for Arky State in week one, rumor has it they play a little above their heads opening weekend at large Land Grant D-1 schools.
#24 – Texas A&M – Speaking of Arky State and land grant universities, that all sounds real familiar here. The Aggies should have ended with a better than 6-7 record last year. Loses at Colorado and a gift wrapping to Oklahoma State were inexcusable, but the country a$$ whipping in Manhattan was the peak of the bad. A&M either won handedly or bent over and took it quickly and often. Outside of the Thanksgiving night Jerrod Johnson coming out party, where he was clearly the best QB on the field, Texas A&M was either on the giving side or receiving side of very lopsided affairs. This is good and bad, good because when giving your offense can put up gaudy numbers, bad because when receiving your defense can give up gaudy numbers. Aggie fan knows this well. A switch to the 3-4 defensive scheme hopes to stir the echoes of the great Wrecking Crew Defenses of old. But something tells me John Roper, Aaron Wallace, Quentin Coryatt, Patrick Bates, Sam Adams, Kevin Smith, Aaron Glenn, William Thomas, Marcus Buckley, Keith Mitchell, Brandon Mitchell, Dat Nguyen etc aren’t walking through those doors anytime soon. Christine Michael is one of the best 4 RB’s in the conference, Jeff Fuller is one of the top 5 WR's in the country and will compliment the Aggies deepest and most talented wide receivering corp they've ever had in College Station, scoring wont be an issue, keeping the others from doing so might be.
#23 – West Virginia – Rich Rod who? One can think that Mountaineer fans are okay with losing this loser all the sudden. Although they are still having to deal with some of his past shenanigans, West Virginia will field the most experienced team in the Big East. Notables like speedster Noel Devine and a tough stingy defense that returns 9 starters will help ease the pressure on Sophomore QB Geno Smith. Smith played sparingly last year but missed the spring with a broken foot. Sources say he has the talent, but didn’t we all at one point? A huge late September trip to Baton Rouge could tell us a lot about this team all while providing third class entertainment, swamp trash v. hillbillies. Ultimate question, can they challenge Pitt for Big East supremacy? Don’t overlook back to back games at UConn and two weeks later Cincy at home.
#22 – Utah – The Utes have seemed to surpass their in-state missionary bound brethren to the tune of a PAC-10 invite, only to have BYU responsd by declaring their football independence. Regardless Utah has their eyes focused on the Horned Frogs of TCU and will get a crack at them in Nov. The Utah offense, especially the RB tandem will be leaned on heavily to carry the team due to the need of replenishment on the defense which was picked apart in the last NFL draft. First game against Pitt will tell a lot, but won’t break their season either way. Enjoy the BCS buster title while you got it, because when you start heading west for every game in the PAC-10, the Poinsettia Bowl might become more of a regular reality.
#21 – South Carolina – It’s hard to believe that quarterback guru Steve Spurrier hasn’t had a good one in 5 years at South Carolina. That’s what will need to change for the Gamecocks to rise up and challenge in the SEC East. Stephen Garcia, QB, can look like Ryan Mallet at times and just as quickly turn into Ryan Leaf (NFL Ryan Leaf). Consistency is a must and Spurrier will demand it out of the multi-year starter. An early Labor Day test against Southern Mississippi should be a good litmus test for what Cock fans can expect as they prepare for the rigors of the SEC schedule. The defense should be salty again, even with having to replace NFL bound Eric Norwood and prized recruit Marcus Lattimore should provide a good shot in the arm at the RB position. Here’s hoping they shake up the SEC hierarchy, it’s always fun having a Cock(y) ole ball coach pacing the sidelines. Plus it’s good on the visors to not meet the turf so often.
#20 – Georgia – It’s hard to imagine a guy with a 77% winning percentage over 9 years could be even remotely close to the hot seat. But it’s also hard to think while Mark Richt was accumulating wins his conference foes would have 5 combined BCS National Championships. It is what it is. UGA is replacing the quarterback, but has two quality options, including highly touted incoming freshmen Aaron Murray in the mix. They will also trot out AJ Green, WR, arguably one of the top 5 WR’s in the country, even in the run first minded SEC. One game to keep an eye on is a non-conference trip to Colorado in early October. Georgia is a superior team, but they would be neither the first nor the last team with more talent to go up in the altitude at Boulder and come away with a head scratching loss. Some off the field issues are going to cloud the next few weeks, regardless Coach Richt needs to continue to win and get the best of Florida at that cocktail get together this year. At least the AD at the beginning of the summer took some of the heat off, to the tune that here at the end of the summer he is no longer AD. Cross-hairs back on Richt.
#19 – Georgia Tech – The smarter more urban cousin of the #20 ranked Georgia team lands at the 19 spot. The rambling wreck from Georgia Tech will continue to run the double-slot option and with an experienced and savvy guy like QB Josh Nesbitt at the helm, the immediate future looks bright. The defending ACC champions and BCS Orange bowl runner-ups (nice way of saying loser) will have to find a way to replace RB Jonathan Dwyer who was drafted last year. For the option to work efficiently it is imperative to have no fewer than two threats, Nesbitt has already been proven as one, so finding a second to compliment him is a must. Now the other side of the ball is a toss-up. In is former NFL and most recently UVA head man, Al Groh as the defensive coordinator. Groh will implement the 3-4 defensive scheme and with some crafty work could have the Jackets contending for the ACC and BCS bowl game again this season.
#18 – LSU – The bayou Bengals are a real question mark this year. Yes they have the talent, yes they have the conference, yes they have the out of conference schedule, yes they have the home field advantage, yes they have the tradition, but unfortunately for them yes they still have Les Miles. There might not be a warmer seat in the country than the one that Lil Les finds himself perched on and it’s only getting warmer. The tiger faithful are split, half love him and half hate him. Both for good reason, he did bring home a national championship, don’t mind the constant second guessing; from who’s players they were to a 2 loss team playing for the BCS championship. He also has repeatedly puts his players in bad situations, see Ole Miss last year, and has had some odd if not completely confusing things to say over the past 4-5 years. The play of QB Jordan Jefferson was great at times, but down right Jarrett Lee like at times as well. They will field a very talented group of WR’s and defensive secondary, but is that enough to overcome the dreaded Les-factor? An early season date with North Carolina and then a home affair with West Virginia could give the tigers the confidence they need to face and challenge for the talented SEC West.
#17 – North Carolina – Butch Davis was supposed to turn a basketball crazed school into a semi-interested football school. He was having some success, recruiting well and winning more games, then what seems to be half of the team decided rules didn’t apply to them and we all await word from the NCAA as to what the punishment is going to be. Things along tobacco road are very much up in the air as of print time. A tough but momentum building first game against LSU could or could not have done wonders, depending on who plays, for this team. Red-shirt freshmen QB, Ryan Renner should take the reins either from day one or at some point early in the year and could provide that spark to get over the hump. The defense is stout, but depending on what the NCAA has to say, this unit could be decimated for some huge games (LSU, Georgia Tech and Rutgers). All things being the same the Tar Heels are a top 20 team, so that’s were they will stay.
#16 – Pittsburgh - They have seen the promise land, just haven’t been able to physically get there. The Panthers had the Big East title in their paws the past few years late into the season only to have it ripped away from lesser, on paper, opponents. Can Wannstedt get this fixed? They have recruited well and field an experienced group starting with record book re-writing RB Dion Lewis, he had close to 1,800 yards last season. Expect Big East foes to pay a bit more attention to him this year. If other teams do in fact commit too much to stop the run, the Panthers can make them pay with their deep and talented WR’s. Starting with All-Conference wide-out Jonathan Baldwin, he along with a fellow 6’5” wide receiver Mike Shanahan should be a formidable duo. The defense should not miss a step even with the departure of both DE’s. The unit led the nation in sacks last year and looks to build on experience.
#15 – Arkansas – It has been a long time since the Hogs have entered a fall sport season with so much hype, hope and wooo piiiiigg soooiiiee hysteria. It could all be for good reason or it could all be for not. A lot of this lies squarely on the cannon that sits in place of a right arm on QB Ryan Mallett. The super sized signal caller can and will whip the ball all over the field and the scary thing for opponents is that his WR’s are the best they’ve been in his tenure. Couple this with Bobby “packed and out of town” Petrino’s offensive wizardry and even Arky fans can do this math. Pig fans and players will know soon enough with early season conference tests against Georgia and Alabama, followed up with an old Southwest Conference showdown against Texas A&M at Jerry’s little do-hicky over in Arlington whether the hype and hysteria was worth crawling out of the trailer for. All the offense in the world though can’t win them all in the SEC; the Hogs D will need to step-up and try to pull their weight for the title hoping hogs to have a chance.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Big 12 South Preview - The last surviving caste system.
Finally Tommy Tuberville announced that Taylor Potts would be the Red Raiders starting QB, so we can finally release the highly anticipated BIG 12 South Division preview. Seriously, without knowing which Texas Tech QB is going to put up gaudy numbers, get booed by his own fans and never sniff the NFL, how could one expect a “preview” to be even remotely accurate or considered reputable. With all the conference re-alignment talk shelved for the very brief mean-time, the far superior division in the BIG 12 has been creating intrigue with the possibility of surprise teams to the dreaded same old status quo. With the departure of a handful of prominent fixtures to the NFL to the high expectations of young phenoms, the proverbial rubber is just about to meet the road.
The Big 12 South Division – The group that makes the Jackson family look loving.
Oklahoma – The Quick – Sam Bradford gets hurt twice still gets drafted #1 overall, and Landry Jones gets more than adequate work in games, big games at that. He should come in and have no issues at the helm. The Sooners also lost some playmakers on the defensive side, but have studs like Jeremy Beal (DL) and Travis Lewis (LB) to fill the gaps. On offense Ryan Broyles and Demarco Murray will be expected to do the glory work for OU, Demarco in his 8th year will hopefully finally live up to the billing. Broyles will beat teams as a WR and as a kick return extraordinaire. The Skinny – Can Big Game Bob Stoops start winning big games? Early non-conference tests against Florida State and Cincinnati will be very telling. And as long as the NCAA keeps turning the blind eye and issuing brutal wrist slaps, the Sooners will contend for a long time.
Texas – The Quick – “if only Colt hadn’t…..” Not yet Longhorn fans, not yet. As has become the norm in Austin, the Horns are as stacked across the board as any coach/fan/media outlet (ESPN/ABC) could possibly hope for. Two biggest questions, replacing the games winning and whiniest QB and establishing even a semblance of a running game. Garret Gilbert (QB) was forced into action during the biggest game of the year, the BCS National Championship, after Colt McCoy sat on his throwing hand too long in pre-game looking for one last casual encounter with “the stranger” prior to his last college football game. And Gilbert looked much better than expected, sans the 18 interceptions; he actually had the Longhorns in a position to win. The Defense will do more reloading and to the hopeful delight of their fans finally shake the “soft” title, with coach-in-waiting Will Muschamp pacing the sidelines; it’s shocking that they haven’t lost this moniker yet. Maybe when he’s head coach? Too bad that will be at LSU and soon, but we digress. The Skinny – A running game is a most; Mack Brown could talk the Pope into Judaism, but hasn’t been able to recruit a game changing RB in a few too many years. It will most likely be running back by committee again this year, with Fozy Whitaker and Tre Newton doing the bulk of the work.
Texas A&M – The Quick – Any defense will be an improvement and a first in years. The Aggie offense can score and did a lot, finishing the year 5th in the country in total offense. Signal caller Jerrod Johnson is surrounded by top flight playmakers; unfortunately he has to rely on a spotty offensive line for time and protection. Look for the O-line to be improved with some stud freshmen that will be expected to play and to impact. Jeff Fuller (WR) is one of the top 5 in the country, a full season will prove this to all. Christine Michael (RB) is on another level and the list goes on. The Defense should be vastly improved with a new 3-4 scheme, hoping to harness some of the old Wrecking Crew glory days. New D-coordinator Tim DeRuyter has come in with a new plan and with an emphasis on speed, confusion and take-aways. The Skinny – All the above my happen, but if the special teams, which has been abysmal since Clinton’s second term doesn’t vastly improve, the Aggies can expect to be on the wrong end of more games this year.
Texas Tech – The Quick – Leach out Tubbs in. This is like taking a job transfer from Nome to Nassau. Or more realistically like transitioning from an offensive and intellectual genius, to a defensive minded back porch rocking, straw chewing, fiddle picking share cropper type. It could go either way, the new coach rut is to be expected but Tubbs ain’t no spring chicken, he made a career out of whipping Alabama and has some tools to work with in Lubbock. Expect the offense to be more balanced with a running game for purpose and strategy versus for cross your fingers and try to catch them off-guard. Where Tommy will have the most impact is on the defensive side of the ball. You know, that bastard-child half of the team that Leach never acknowledged. As mentioned above, Taylor Potts will get the nod over Steven “Sticks” Sheffield at QB, but if any of Leach’s existence remains, outside of multiple unpaid bar tabs in Lubbock, the leash will be short with two proven quarterbacks ready and able. The Skinny – besides the back-up quarterback. If the offense can keep the new coach regression to a minimum and Tuberville is able to do what he does best and build a respectable defense; the high plains of Texas might forget about the Pirate sooner rather than later. Until he comes back and beats them down in civil court and rightfully claims his booty.
Oklahoma State – The Quick – Only 8 meaningful returning starters on both sides of the ball combined, kickers and punters aren’t meaningful. With huge losses like Dez Bryant, although he didn’t exactly pull his weight last year, in fact he probably left Stillwater in Oct. of ’09 and hasn’t been back since. And Zak Robinson (QB) along with 4 offensive linemen, Coach Gundy has his work cut out. Luckily talented RB Kendall Hunter returns and hopes to put last years injury shortened season behind him as 26 year old Brandon Weeden (QB) will try and make the transition from minor league baseball player to old and creepy looking college quarterback. A tough non-conference schedule dueling with the likes of Tulsa, Troy, Washington State and Louisiana Lafayette should have the cowboys finely tuned for the Big 12 gauntlet. The Skinny – T Boone Pickens is running out of time, he hasn’t seen very good returns on his investments of late, see non-existent wind farm in Pampa TX, so a good team in his mini-jewel of a stadium would really do wonders for the would be wind wrangler.
Baylor – The Quick – Outside of Robert Griffin III, they aren’t. Baylor is just thankful the Big 12 still exists and that they didn’t have to exhume Ann Richards body and do some serious Weekend at Bernie’s to get to stay with the big boys. The Bears will put the weight of their Baptist congregation on the shoulders of highly talented QB Robert Griffin III, someone might need to send some weight watchers to Waco because last year his ACL couldn’t support such weight. RG III is that good; where he can win games on his own, but some big loses on defense (Baylor standards here) might be more than the cubbies can bear. ßSee what we did there! The Skinny – not the Baylor Line. Art Briles is a good coach, who is probably looking at the University of Houston and wondering “what was I thinking?” for leaving there to come to Baylor. Oh well the Big 12 will implode soon enough and Bear fans can get excited about renewing their old SWC rivalry with Rice and creating fun new rivalries with UTEP and UTSA and UTA.
The Big 12 South Division – The group that makes the Jackson family look loving.
Oklahoma – The Quick – Sam Bradford gets hurt twice still gets drafted #1 overall, and Landry Jones gets more than adequate work in games, big games at that. He should come in and have no issues at the helm. The Sooners also lost some playmakers on the defensive side, but have studs like Jeremy Beal (DL) and Travis Lewis (LB) to fill the gaps. On offense Ryan Broyles and Demarco Murray will be expected to do the glory work for OU, Demarco in his 8th year will hopefully finally live up to the billing. Broyles will beat teams as a WR and as a kick return extraordinaire. The Skinny – Can Big Game Bob Stoops start winning big games? Early non-conference tests against Florida State and Cincinnati will be very telling. And as long as the NCAA keeps turning the blind eye and issuing brutal wrist slaps, the Sooners will contend for a long time.
Texas – The Quick – “if only Colt hadn’t…..” Not yet Longhorn fans, not yet. As has become the norm in Austin, the Horns are as stacked across the board as any coach/fan/media outlet (ESPN/ABC) could possibly hope for. Two biggest questions, replacing the games winning and whiniest QB and establishing even a semblance of a running game. Garret Gilbert (QB) was forced into action during the biggest game of the year, the BCS National Championship, after Colt McCoy sat on his throwing hand too long in pre-game looking for one last casual encounter with “the stranger” prior to his last college football game. And Gilbert looked much better than expected, sans the 18 interceptions; he actually had the Longhorns in a position to win. The Defense will do more reloading and to the hopeful delight of their fans finally shake the “soft” title, with coach-in-waiting Will Muschamp pacing the sidelines; it’s shocking that they haven’t lost this moniker yet. Maybe when he’s head coach? Too bad that will be at LSU and soon, but we digress. The Skinny – A running game is a most; Mack Brown could talk the Pope into Judaism, but hasn’t been able to recruit a game changing RB in a few too many years. It will most likely be running back by committee again this year, with Fozy Whitaker and Tre Newton doing the bulk of the work.
Texas A&M – The Quick – Any defense will be an improvement and a first in years. The Aggie offense can score and did a lot, finishing the year 5th in the country in total offense. Signal caller Jerrod Johnson is surrounded by top flight playmakers; unfortunately he has to rely on a spotty offensive line for time and protection. Look for the O-line to be improved with some stud freshmen that will be expected to play and to impact. Jeff Fuller (WR) is one of the top 5 in the country, a full season will prove this to all. Christine Michael (RB) is on another level and the list goes on. The Defense should be vastly improved with a new 3-4 scheme, hoping to harness some of the old Wrecking Crew glory days. New D-coordinator Tim DeRuyter has come in with a new plan and with an emphasis on speed, confusion and take-aways. The Skinny – All the above my happen, but if the special teams, which has been abysmal since Clinton’s second term doesn’t vastly improve, the Aggies can expect to be on the wrong end of more games this year.
Texas Tech – The Quick – Leach out Tubbs in. This is like taking a job transfer from Nome to Nassau. Or more realistically like transitioning from an offensive and intellectual genius, to a defensive minded back porch rocking, straw chewing, fiddle picking share cropper type. It could go either way, the new coach rut is to be expected but Tubbs ain’t no spring chicken, he made a career out of whipping Alabama and has some tools to work with in Lubbock. Expect the offense to be more balanced with a running game for purpose and strategy versus for cross your fingers and try to catch them off-guard. Where Tommy will have the most impact is on the defensive side of the ball. You know, that bastard-child half of the team that Leach never acknowledged. As mentioned above, Taylor Potts will get the nod over Steven “Sticks” Sheffield at QB, but if any of Leach’s existence remains, outside of multiple unpaid bar tabs in Lubbock, the leash will be short with two proven quarterbacks ready and able. The Skinny – besides the back-up quarterback. If the offense can keep the new coach regression to a minimum and Tuberville is able to do what he does best and build a respectable defense; the high plains of Texas might forget about the Pirate sooner rather than later. Until he comes back and beats them down in civil court and rightfully claims his booty.
Oklahoma State – The Quick – Only 8 meaningful returning starters on both sides of the ball combined, kickers and punters aren’t meaningful. With huge losses like Dez Bryant, although he didn’t exactly pull his weight last year, in fact he probably left Stillwater in Oct. of ’09 and hasn’t been back since. And Zak Robinson (QB) along with 4 offensive linemen, Coach Gundy has his work cut out. Luckily talented RB Kendall Hunter returns and hopes to put last years injury shortened season behind him as 26 year old Brandon Weeden (QB) will try and make the transition from minor league baseball player to old and creepy looking college quarterback. A tough non-conference schedule dueling with the likes of Tulsa, Troy, Washington State and Louisiana Lafayette should have the cowboys finely tuned for the Big 12 gauntlet. The Skinny – T Boone Pickens is running out of time, he hasn’t seen very good returns on his investments of late, see non-existent wind farm in Pampa TX, so a good team in his mini-jewel of a stadium would really do wonders for the would be wind wrangler.
Baylor – The Quick – Outside of Robert Griffin III, they aren’t. Baylor is just thankful the Big 12 still exists and that they didn’t have to exhume Ann Richards body and do some serious Weekend at Bernie’s to get to stay with the big boys. The Bears will put the weight of their Baptist congregation on the shoulders of highly talented QB Robert Griffin III, someone might need to send some weight watchers to Waco because last year his ACL couldn’t support such weight. RG III is that good; where he can win games on his own, but some big loses on defense (Baylor standards here) might be more than the cubbies can bear. ßSee what we did there! The Skinny – not the Baylor Line. Art Briles is a good coach, who is probably looking at the University of Houston and wondering “what was I thinking?” for leaving there to come to Baylor. Oh well the Big 12 will implode soon enough and Bear fans can get excited about renewing their old SWC rivalry with Rice and creating fun new rivalries with UTEP and UTSA and UTA.
Monday, August 9, 2010
BIG 12 Preview – The North, quit laughing!
Can you feel that? That blast of cell mutating heat that envelops your whole being the second you emerge from your conditioned space to meet that ravenous wench Mother Nature every day. Well that can only mean one thing, time to get 105 over-sized 18-22 year olds suited up in 20 extra pounds of heat inducing, non-breathing, plastic suits of armor and run ‘em until they puke. Yep it’s two-a-days time; a right of passage for many, a ride to the hospital for some and the end of the line for an unfortunate few. While the air conditioners suckle from the electric grid teat for just enough juice to keep the temp from only raising 2 degrees an hour, the unhealthiest demographic in America (college aged students) will be gathering, running, jumping, tackling and hallucinating on broiler-esque turf radiators the country over. All for our pleasure! And since everyone’s alma mater is undefeated right now, soak it up, enjoy this moment for soon enough the Buffalos, Cyclones, Bears and Red Raiders of the world will be called to task for that chalice of delusion they have been sipping on and the contenders will separate themselves from the pretenders. It was with much hope and excitement that this was going to be the first of many SEC themed installments, however 12 out of touch self serving ambASSadors derailed that plan, so here in all it’s cowardice is your 2010 Big “unhappy, unequal, untrusting and hopefully unlasting” 12 football preview.
Let us go the way of the Carpetbagger and start in the North for now only to end up in the fertile South another day. Today we give you the Corn Belt division of the Big 12 conference.
The North Division, otherwise none as the bow of the Titanic, the first to succumb.
Nebraska – The Quick – Neb finally is getting what Dr. Tom Osborne has wanted since 1996, the hell away from Texas. The Huskers are Big 10 bound soon enough, but will compete for the conference championship in the mean time. A controversial 1 second away from dehorning Texas last year in a game where any offense at all from Big Red would have complimented a true Bo Pelini type of defensive street brawl. The Skinny – The conference championship game was followed by on offensive explosion (Nebraska standards here) of 33 unanswered points in a bowl shut-out of Arizona. A consistent O with a Pelini lead D and the children of the corn are in Jerry World for a shot at the “don’t let the door hit your over-all covered tractor cushion on the way out” Big 12 Championship.
Missouri – The Quick – Oh how Mizzou wanted to be with Nebraska heading to the Big 10, they even said as much only to be reminded that, well they are still just Mizzou. Missouri will want to show any potential suitors from other conferences that they are much more than a Journalism school when this dilapidated conference does implode. The Skinny – Blaine Gabbert is one of the best QB’s in the conference, but will have to establish some go-to WR’s for the first time in his career. Defense has some big holes to fill but does boast one of the nations best pass rushers in DE Aldon Smith, but can he do it alone? Gary Pinkel is starting year 10 after 9 painfully benign years in Columbia, go crazy on a reporter or something Gary to remind the nation that you exist.
Kansas State – The Quick – Go from the college football abyss to the college football zenith with a hand picked bunch of Rhodes Scholars, Mike Bishop and fellow JUCO Einsteins, try to go straight and build a team instead of piece milling one with drifters, name the stadium after the neighborly looking grandpa responsible for all of this, bring in an ethnically pleasing coach to appeal to the “good athletes” and look like the golden child to the NCAA and the NAACP and quickly submarine right back to the college football abyss. The Skinny – Go re-hire the aforementioned neighborly grandpa and start over. Will history repeat itself?
Colorado – The Quick – If CU had any money, pride or overall interest in football Coach Dan Hawkins would have been canned before boarding the plane leaving Toledo last year after getting spanked 54-38. Or perhaps after losing to lowly Iowa State or even better after going 0 for their last 3 and finishing 3-9. Boulder is in the mountains but unlike at Boise, a tougher conference awaits every Saturday. The Skinny – Quit starting your son at QB, this ain’t intramurals remember! Your wife will love you if you act like a coach and play the best player but might not if you are unemployed, can you see where we are going with this?
Kansas – The Quick – Coach Mangino is gone and shockingly not due to how many assumed he would be leaving the program. The guy that made Jayhawk football respectable and wearing blue and red crushed velvet table cloths fashionable was apparently also very guilty of being a grade A jerk. Who would have ever thought that this meteor of a man would have the ability and audacity to publically humiliate others for their short comings? You talk about a classic example of “if I can just make others feel bad about them selves, I won’t have to think about how miserable I am.” If what he said to players is true, he deserves the shortness of breath he will no doubt suffer the rest of his numbered days. The Skinny – Turner Gill was arguably one of the best hires in the country this off-season and he will get KU playing good football again, unfortunately it might be in the Mountain West when they make the turn, but it will happen.
Iowa State – The Quick – Should have never been in the Big 12 to begin with, the end is near. If they take the “Iowa State” of off the front of their jersey’s people might watch for 30 more seconds thinking they are watching USC, wait you won’t ever be on TV, never mind. The Skinny- Skinny and Iowa State is an oxymoron. Oh and if you can hold off for two years to win the conference championship it will be an even 100 years since your last conference championship, and even that was a co-championship, we know it will be tough but good luck!
Let us go the way of the Carpetbagger and start in the North for now only to end up in the fertile South another day. Today we give you the Corn Belt division of the Big 12 conference.
The North Division, otherwise none as the bow of the Titanic, the first to succumb.
Nebraska – The Quick – Neb finally is getting what Dr. Tom Osborne has wanted since 1996, the hell away from Texas. The Huskers are Big 10 bound soon enough, but will compete for the conference championship in the mean time. A controversial 1 second away from dehorning Texas last year in a game where any offense at all from Big Red would have complimented a true Bo Pelini type of defensive street brawl. The Skinny – The conference championship game was followed by on offensive explosion (Nebraska standards here) of 33 unanswered points in a bowl shut-out of Arizona. A consistent O with a Pelini lead D and the children of the corn are in Jerry World for a shot at the “don’t let the door hit your over-all covered tractor cushion on the way out” Big 12 Championship.
Missouri – The Quick – Oh how Mizzou wanted to be with Nebraska heading to the Big 10, they even said as much only to be reminded that, well they are still just Mizzou. Missouri will want to show any potential suitors from other conferences that they are much more than a Journalism school when this dilapidated conference does implode. The Skinny – Blaine Gabbert is one of the best QB’s in the conference, but will have to establish some go-to WR’s for the first time in his career. Defense has some big holes to fill but does boast one of the nations best pass rushers in DE Aldon Smith, but can he do it alone? Gary Pinkel is starting year 10 after 9 painfully benign years in Columbia, go crazy on a reporter or something Gary to remind the nation that you exist.
Kansas State – The Quick – Go from the college football abyss to the college football zenith with a hand picked bunch of Rhodes Scholars, Mike Bishop and fellow JUCO Einsteins, try to go straight and build a team instead of piece milling one with drifters, name the stadium after the neighborly looking grandpa responsible for all of this, bring in an ethnically pleasing coach to appeal to the “good athletes” and look like the golden child to the NCAA and the NAACP and quickly submarine right back to the college football abyss. The Skinny – Go re-hire the aforementioned neighborly grandpa and start over. Will history repeat itself?
Colorado – The Quick – If CU had any money, pride or overall interest in football Coach Dan Hawkins would have been canned before boarding the plane leaving Toledo last year after getting spanked 54-38. Or perhaps after losing to lowly Iowa State or even better after going 0 for their last 3 and finishing 3-9. Boulder is in the mountains but unlike at Boise, a tougher conference awaits every Saturday. The Skinny – Quit starting your son at QB, this ain’t intramurals remember! Your wife will love you if you act like a coach and play the best player but might not if you are unemployed, can you see where we are going with this?
Kansas – The Quick – Coach Mangino is gone and shockingly not due to how many assumed he would be leaving the program. The guy that made Jayhawk football respectable and wearing blue and red crushed velvet table cloths fashionable was apparently also very guilty of being a grade A jerk. Who would have ever thought that this meteor of a man would have the ability and audacity to publically humiliate others for their short comings? You talk about a classic example of “if I can just make others feel bad about them selves, I won’t have to think about how miserable I am.” If what he said to players is true, he deserves the shortness of breath he will no doubt suffer the rest of his numbered days. The Skinny – Turner Gill was arguably one of the best hires in the country this off-season and he will get KU playing good football again, unfortunately it might be in the Mountain West when they make the turn, but it will happen.
Iowa State – The Quick – Should have never been in the Big 12 to begin with, the end is near. If they take the “Iowa State” of off the front of their jersey’s people might watch for 30 more seconds thinking they are watching USC, wait you won’t ever be on TV, never mind. The Skinny- Skinny and Iowa State is an oxymoron. Oh and if you can hold off for two years to win the conference championship it will be an even 100 years since your last conference championship, and even that was a co-championship, we know it will be tough but good luck!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Can BP plug Les's mouth? Tony Danza peeved and South Beach at the center of the College Football universe.
Since August is just over a week away and it is well known that August signifies the beginning of the college football season, we feel it appropriate to offer up some tidbits and stories of interest that in some form or fashion have a direct link to college football. As expected a full pre-season synopsis will be forthcoming, but in the meantime it is with much hope that these little nuggets will keep the palate wetted and the mind entertained.
As we all still wait for the Les Miles decoder ring to come out, we hope you are able to take some reassurance from this interview that worth-Les is.......... well still just that.
*Edit [16:04 cst] - It appears that Miss Teen South Carolina and Boobie Miles have collaborated on what will certainly sway many opinions concerning the genius that is the South East United States. Audio can be found under the confused man in the headset.
Rumor out of Tuscaloosa is that there have been 3 different bronze renditions of Nick Saban (to place along the other National Championship winning coaches at Alabama) commissioned and shown to Saban and crew for approval and that all three have been rejected. That leaves only one obvious question, how long can they expect Tony Danza to sit and pose for this project?
Memo to all college football players with eligibility remaining – If an agent, a street agent, an agents friend, one of your homeboys, your Dad that you just met or any grown man in a white linen suit invites you to a party in South Beach……don’t go. The fall out from this should be interesting. Oh and when the NCAA invites you up to their nice offices as they will no doubt be doing, don't lie to the NCAA, ask Dez Bryant how that works out.
As we all still wait for the Les Miles decoder ring to come out, we hope you are able to take some reassurance from this interview that worth-Les is.......... well still just that.
*Edit [16:04 cst] - It appears that Miss Teen South Carolina and Boobie Miles have collaborated on what will certainly sway many opinions concerning the genius that is the South East United States. Audio can be found under the confused man in the headset.
Rumor out of Tuscaloosa is that there have been 3 different bronze renditions of Nick Saban (to place along the other National Championship winning coaches at Alabama) commissioned and shown to Saban and crew for approval and that all three have been rejected. That leaves only one obvious question, how long can they expect Tony Danza to sit and pose for this project?
Memo to all college football players with eligibility remaining – If an agent, a street agent, an agents friend, one of your homeboys, your Dad that you just met or any grown man in a white linen suit invites you to a party in South Beach……don’t go. The fall out from this should be interesting. Oh and when the NCAA invites you up to their nice offices as they will no doubt be doing, don't lie to the NCAA, ask Dez Bryant how that works out.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Capitalism gone wrong
In theory and with good practice capitalism is a wonderful thing, but when free markets are at the disposal of the ill informed it can turn into a cruel yet somehow semi-entertaining spectacle.
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/07/20/pin-sail-donkey-russian-prosecutors-investigate-cruel-parasailing-donkey-stunt/?test=latestnews
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/07/20/pin-sail-donkey-russian-prosecutors-investigate-cruel-parasailing-donkey-stunt/?test=latestnews
Friday, July 9, 2010
** BREAKING NEWS **
** Tar balls found on Galveston Beach **
In other news:
- Yanks put man on the moon
- Water is wet
- Japs bomb Pearl Harbor
- Titanic sinks on maiden voyage
- Steroids rampant in Major League Baseball
In other news:
- Yanks put man on the moon
- Water is wet
- Japs bomb Pearl Harbor
- Titanic sinks on maiden voyage
- Steroids rampant in Major League Baseball
Friday, July 2, 2010
FIFA 2010 World Flop
Some say love is the universal language, however most would agree that English is the universal voice, commonly used at international events the world over. But let us offer up another international commonality that is presently being displayed by at least 32 countries, all of which are gathered in South Africa at the moment, that is the language of art and theatrics, and not in a Michelangelo way more the flop and writhe in bogus pain kind of way. FIFA and its metro-sexual band of faux hawk sporting, Armani suit wearing, solo name totting thespians have converged at the southern tip of the African continent for their once every 4 years expo to exchange the latest diving techniques, to show how to best appear to have broken an ankle only to be up sprinting 15 seconds later and most importantly to remind many Americans why futbol will never be football. Certainly the pageantry, with the help of ESPN/ABC, and the build up is hard to ignore deny or avoid if one so chooses. American soccer fans cautiously come out of their suburban homes and head into town to mix it up at the local pubs with the regulars who will never root for anyone or anything named Kaka. Others will throw on the club team jersey they bought while backpacking through Europe after college and do some Googleing to look like the resident expert on why the Dutch might be underrated and why France is a ticking time bomb. Then there are those that just like sport and will take it in any variety. Regardless of how they get there, they are all there shoulder to shoulder throwing back pre-noon brews waiting on the spectacle. And no matter what his or hers self proclaimed level of expertise is on the game, all will witness the folly that is the dive, the fake ankle sprain and the child like antics of grown men throwing hissy fits for all the world to see, except maybe North Korea. Which actually might not be a bad place to go come World Cup 2014 time, apparently when things aren’t going the way of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea, the feed mysteriously gets cut, and goalies disappear, but we digress.
Because the internet is global, thank you Al Gore, and anything posted on the World Wide Web can be viewed and accessed from anywhere, things must be put into context. This is aimed at those that grew up with a large amount of sporting options to participate in and a surplus of teams in a variety of sports to follow and support. It is one thing to understand the strategy of a game and appreciate the skill level of those that do it better than 98% of the rest, and for that soccer will retain and acquire new fans every four years. But in a society that is force fed football for at least 8 months out of the year, watching pretty boys dive and writhe is forever going to be a hard sell. We like our heroes tough. Hell Nancy Kerrigan took a worse beating than anyone on the defending champion Italian team and she still won silver, Italy didn’t make it out of the first round. When our pros walk-out or strike, NFL circa 1987, everyday Joes put down their pipe wrenches to take a shot at their dreams. The French futbol team walked out of practice and sat on the bus in protest of a teammate being sent home. When our guys go down and stay down, they sure better be dragging an arm or a leg off the field with them a la Joe Theisman or they will forever be labeled soft, see Colt McCoy. When a referee blows a call, the first thought shouldn’t be about geo-politics or spheres of influence, but inevitably when a ref does blow 1 or 8, why shouldn’t they have to answer for it? Ask MLB umpire Jim Joyce about that, no doubt he would have preferred to be protected to the extremes that FIFA does for its prancing card issuing “officials”. When soccer goes right, like 3 Brazilians weaving in and out passing the ball effortlessly between themselves and sashaying about their opponents who all appear to be stuck in mud, it is a beautiful thing, but there is nothing beautiful about a 0-0 final. Games and contests were played to be won and lost, ask the Gladiators.
Every so often something great comes out of soccer, like Posh Spice, vuvuzelas, South American female footie fans and new sideline fashion, but as far as we are concerned every 4 years is plenty, because we still have the MLS, or do we?
Because the internet is global, thank you Al Gore, and anything posted on the World Wide Web can be viewed and accessed from anywhere, things must be put into context. This is aimed at those that grew up with a large amount of sporting options to participate in and a surplus of teams in a variety of sports to follow and support. It is one thing to understand the strategy of a game and appreciate the skill level of those that do it better than 98% of the rest, and for that soccer will retain and acquire new fans every four years. But in a society that is force fed football for at least 8 months out of the year, watching pretty boys dive and writhe is forever going to be a hard sell. We like our heroes tough. Hell Nancy Kerrigan took a worse beating than anyone on the defending champion Italian team and she still won silver, Italy didn’t make it out of the first round. When our pros walk-out or strike, NFL circa 1987, everyday Joes put down their pipe wrenches to take a shot at their dreams. The French futbol team walked out of practice and sat on the bus in protest of a teammate being sent home. When our guys go down and stay down, they sure better be dragging an arm or a leg off the field with them a la Joe Theisman or they will forever be labeled soft, see Colt McCoy. When a referee blows a call, the first thought shouldn’t be about geo-politics or spheres of influence, but inevitably when a ref does blow 1 or 8, why shouldn’t they have to answer for it? Ask MLB umpire Jim Joyce about that, no doubt he would have preferred to be protected to the extremes that FIFA does for its prancing card issuing “officials”. When soccer goes right, like 3 Brazilians weaving in and out passing the ball effortlessly between themselves and sashaying about their opponents who all appear to be stuck in mud, it is a beautiful thing, but there is nothing beautiful about a 0-0 final. Games and contests were played to be won and lost, ask the Gladiators.
Every so often something great comes out of soccer, like Posh Spice, vuvuzelas, South American female footie fans and new sideline fashion, but as far as we are concerned every 4 years is plenty, because we still have the MLS, or do we?
Monday, June 14, 2010
Conference re-alignment - expansion, contraction or deception?
It is becoming apparent that Texas wants their cake and wants a network to air them shopping for the ingredients, cooking and ultimately eating it as well. The much talked about move of 5 Big 12 South teams (Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma and Oklahoma St.) to the PAC 10 has been public knowledge for some time now. As this would insure certainly double the TV revenue for each institution as well as a spot in a BCS automatic qualifier conference. But more so this would give Texas the status as match-maker and savior from the perspective of the PAC 10 and the remora-esque mid-tier Big 12 teams (Texas Tech and Oklahoma State). These teams have to be at the hip/beckon call of a Texas type to even be on the radar of a perceived super conference. But that leaves A&M and OU, two teams that when looking at all of their assets, across the board, can really stand on their own two feet. What one brings in gridiron prowess (OU) the other brings in Former Student base (A&M) and ultimately TV sets tuned in every Saturday. Enough can’t be said about the tactics implored by the A&M brass at the moment, if and a big if, all the media leaks and internet speculation is true, it appears that the Aggie big cigars are eyeing a possible invite to join the countries primer football/athletic conference, the SEC. This idea creates a cascade of scenarios. First it would break up 100+ years of Aggie/Longhorn conference affiliation. Texas has always looked down on Aggie and Aggie has always scoffed at soft Longhorn. It would also bring the SEC into the state of Texas; this could have huge recruiting implications, giving the likes of Nick Saban, Urban Meyer and Mark Richt inroads to a high school football breeding ground. Texas no likey this one bit. It could also help A&M’s recruiting, no offence to anyone but playing Tennessee, Alabama, LSU, Georgia, Florida, Auburn etc. is much more attractive than Baylor, Iowa State and the Kansas’s. All of the SEC talk has suddenly got the Longhorns doing the Texas two-step, backwards. And for this the A&M decision makers have done half their job. As quickly as Texas was ready to abandon the sinking Big 12, it has been “leaked” now that Texas will do whatever is necessary to keep the Big 12 sans 2 intact. This would do a lot of things. First, if A&M were to depart, it would make A&M look the villain for bolting and deliver the proverbial knock out blow to the Big 12. Second, if A&M were to stay, it would pave the way for Texas to once again get unequal TV revenue rights and the potential creation of that shopping/cooking/cake eating channel that was referenced above. The Texas Longhorn Network, which would be great for the Texas Longhorns and that’s it. This network is/was not an option in the expanded PAC 10. On a side note, the concessions that were made to Texas during the forming of the Big 12 back in the mid-90’s was a major player in Nebraska bailing out at the first opportunity. And finally if A&M decides to stand ground and stay in the Big 12 sans 2, this would keep most of the SEC at bay from Texas’s recruiting bed, sure there would be some snipping but nothing near the level if an in-state team were a member of the conference. It must also be mentioned that Texas to the SEC was never an option, the Longhorns site cultural and academic disparity as their rationale. No doubt they are a better fit with the green liberal intellects of the West Coast, however many believe having to stare down the likes of Bama, LSU, Auburn, Tenn, Florida every year versus Baylor, Texas Tech, Arizona, ASU plays a large part in this. Seriously though not many people look down on Vandy grads just because of the company they keep. Now as for the SEC and their need/desire to expand; first off they don’t need to unless it is apparent that this shift toward 4-5 super conferences is inevitable. They seem to have the football national championship thing figured out. However, they know that they have a great TV deal, but adding some top flight, large and attractive institutions would do nothing but sweeten their bargaining power at the negotiating table. And what better market than the Texas market? The SEC has never been caught watching the paint dry under the guidance of Commissioner Slive, the SEC has always been prepared to attack and counter attack as necessary. Slive was in College Station this weekend, whether an invitation was extended is not officially known, but based on the assumption of Texas and the Pac 10+, it is assumed that the SEC would invite the Aggies and even possibly the Sooners. Now with Texas backtracking and rediscovering their love for Baylor, Iowa State and the Kansas’s, the SEC offer might not be on the table for A&M, due to the simple lack of need for expansion from the SEC. There were reports that Texas threatened A&M to never play them again in any sport if they didn’t hitch on to the Texas train and blindly follow (a la Texas Tech and Oklahoma State) to the Pac 10+. This is analogous to the youngster taking his ball and leaving. Come on, You’re Texas remember, must you be so benign? As it stands at the moment, you have the Big 10 with 12 members, the Pac 10 with 12 members and the Big 12 with 10 members, sounds like the Government is running this, but we digress. If the Big 12 sans 2 can hold on to its BCS automatic qualifier status, Texas should want everything to stand pat, all they would have to do is beat OU and manage the rest of their schedule and they would be BCS bowling annually. But they need A&M to agree to stay as mentioned, it would just be hard to think that the given the chance the Aggies wouldn’t join the SEC, enhance their spotlight (or create their spotlight) all the while leaving the Horn brass fuming. A&M should accept the invite and deal with any fall out that might accompany it from Texas, or whomever. This is an opportunity that will pay in cash form from the get go and in the long term on all fields of play. In the short term, some beat downs should be expected, but hey you still get the Mississippi schools annually and Kentucky, South Carolina and Vanderbilt occasionally.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Is this worthy of a BP claim? It had to be cuased by oil stress syndrome.
To the SOB or DOB or collective group of either that broke into the vehicle of some cash paying tourists to your economic collapsing gulf coast this past week, here are some hopes for you.
May you go blind so that the two pair of sunglasses you stole will never be needed.
May you go blind and deaf so the Magellan GPS you stole will be of no use regardless of audio instructions being enabled.
My you go blind, deaf and then have a terrible allergic reaction to the prescription pills you stole. One so bad that death would be a welcomed relief.
If you are in any way associated with a legitimate line of work that is being or will be affected by the oil spill, may you drown in that oil. Not the rest of your community, just you, you lowest form of scum. You make a tar ball turn in shame.
On the other hand boy genius, it is appreciated that while you were snatching sunglasses and GPS devices, that you refrained from lifting the laptop computer, digital camera, multiple fishing rods and equipment and the full set of golf clubs and shoes that were in the same vehicle, or the cooler and numerous other things of pawn shop value that you had to step over to get to the car. That is all, carry on with that miserable thing you call your life.
Considering the economic death that is occurring because of the BP oil disaster, one would think that the good folks of Gulf Shores/Ft. Morgan Alabama, or anyone relying on tourist dollars along the Gulf Coast, might not spend their evenings looking for cars that are parked at rental beach houses to break into. Or maybe that’s why these people will never make it out of LA.
May you go blind so that the two pair of sunglasses you stole will never be needed.
May you go blind and deaf so the Magellan GPS you stole will be of no use regardless of audio instructions being enabled.
My you go blind, deaf and then have a terrible allergic reaction to the prescription pills you stole. One so bad that death would be a welcomed relief.
If you are in any way associated with a legitimate line of work that is being or will be affected by the oil spill, may you drown in that oil. Not the rest of your community, just you, you lowest form of scum. You make a tar ball turn in shame.
On the other hand boy genius, it is appreciated that while you were snatching sunglasses and GPS devices, that you refrained from lifting the laptop computer, digital camera, multiple fishing rods and equipment and the full set of golf clubs and shoes that were in the same vehicle, or the cooler and numerous other things of pawn shop value that you had to step over to get to the car. That is all, carry on with that miserable thing you call your life.
Considering the economic death that is occurring because of the BP oil disaster, one would think that the good folks of Gulf Shores/Ft. Morgan Alabama, or anyone relying on tourist dollars along the Gulf Coast, might not spend their evenings looking for cars that are parked at rental beach houses to break into. Or maybe that’s why these people will never make it out of LA.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
....and now for some random musings, as promised above.
- A person should not have to offer up and make a cup of coffee as a bribe for the maid, in hopes of having their office cleaned. It’s part of the house! The same house you are getting paid to clean!
- Did Comcast Cable Co. think that their customers wanted Spanish being the default language on the HD channels?
- Why do women feel it necessary to hide the spare toilet paper rolls when company is coming over? Do they not think that the guests appreciate the wonders of toilet paper and that possibly they implement it in their daily lives as well? And thus think it’s tacky to keep an abundance of the hygiene enhancing product readily available?
- What is so hard about turning of the Cable box and the TV?
- Deli turkey cold cuts always have an odor when you put your nose into the bag. So how are you to know when it has gone bad, the opaque gelatin that forms or the presence of a pinkish hue?
- Who would have thought that bottling and selling drinking water would become an enormously lucrative business? Clearly not Halsey-Taylor.
- Under absolutely no circumstances is parking in the front yard okay.
- If humans can allegedly over sleep and remain perpetually tired, why can’t dogs? Or do they and that in turn creates a viscous yet awesomely envious cycle.
- Why do most radio stations only gab during the morning commute? Wouldn’t carpooling have caught on a little better if people just wanted talk on their way to work?
- If towels in the guest bathroom are not to be used, don’t put them there.
- Has an airline flight ever been on time? Sure there have been plenty that have arrived early, but actually one that has arrived at the exact time that it claimed?
- Police officers should not be allowed to call and solicit donations over the phone; it is not easy telling a K-9 cop that you are not interested in supporting the police stations kennel renovations.
- The Chrysler 300 does not look like a Bentley. For a while there it might have gotten a second mistaken look, but no longer.
- Chrome doesn’t always dress something up. Like say the gas tank cover.
- Is leaving spoiled left-over’s in the refrigerator to “teach” the maid a lesson cruel or constructive?
- As a man, it is not okay to buy a jersey with another man’s name on it. Buy the team shirt.
- Just because you speak a different language than someone, doesn’t mean that increasing the decibels will make the translation any easier.
- Not every meal has to be super-sized.
- Why would anyone intentionally lower a car/truck? Because those speed bumps, road humps, ramps, driveway curbs, etc. are so enjoyable at factory height?
- If recycling were lucrative or even a break even enterprise, those that do it constantly would be off of their bikes by now.
- The T.S.A has greatly marginalized the “Men in uniform” premise.
- Did Comcast Cable Co. think that their customers wanted Spanish being the default language on the HD channels?
- Why do women feel it necessary to hide the spare toilet paper rolls when company is coming over? Do they not think that the guests appreciate the wonders of toilet paper and that possibly they implement it in their daily lives as well? And thus think it’s tacky to keep an abundance of the hygiene enhancing product readily available?
- What is so hard about turning of the Cable box and the TV?
- Deli turkey cold cuts always have an odor when you put your nose into the bag. So how are you to know when it has gone bad, the opaque gelatin that forms or the presence of a pinkish hue?
- Who would have thought that bottling and selling drinking water would become an enormously lucrative business? Clearly not Halsey-Taylor.
- Under absolutely no circumstances is parking in the front yard okay.
- If humans can allegedly over sleep and remain perpetually tired, why can’t dogs? Or do they and that in turn creates a viscous yet awesomely envious cycle.
- Why do most radio stations only gab during the morning commute? Wouldn’t carpooling have caught on a little better if people just wanted talk on their way to work?
- If towels in the guest bathroom are not to be used, don’t put them there.
- Has an airline flight ever been on time? Sure there have been plenty that have arrived early, but actually one that has arrived at the exact time that it claimed?
- Police officers should not be allowed to call and solicit donations over the phone; it is not easy telling a K-9 cop that you are not interested in supporting the police stations kennel renovations.
- The Chrysler 300 does not look like a Bentley. For a while there it might have gotten a second mistaken look, but no longer.
- Chrome doesn’t always dress something up. Like say the gas tank cover.
- Is leaving spoiled left-over’s in the refrigerator to “teach” the maid a lesson cruel or constructive?
- As a man, it is not okay to buy a jersey with another man’s name on it. Buy the team shirt.
- Just because you speak a different language than someone, doesn’t mean that increasing the decibels will make the translation any easier.
- Not every meal has to be super-sized.
- Why would anyone intentionally lower a car/truck? Because those speed bumps, road humps, ramps, driveway curbs, etc. are so enjoyable at factory height?
- If recycling were lucrative or even a break even enterprise, those that do it constantly would be off of their bikes by now.
- The T.S.A has greatly marginalized the “Men in uniform” premise.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
BP = Beyond Phrustrating or Bad Pipe or Better Pumpers or Bad Pluggers….
First and foremost, to the 11 that accepted the challenge to tackle a mighty task on the Earth’s true final frontier and paid with the ultimate price, The Levee offers both the utmost gratitude for your works along with the sincerest condolences to your family, friends and loved ones. Your sacrifice, while unnecessary and unthinkable, exudes pride and selflessness. The words below are solely directed towards those that appear to be very detached from the platforms you called your office.
So let us make sure we are all on the same page here. 52 miles out in the Gulf of Mexico, 1 mile down to the ocean floor and rig head, potentially an additional 30,000 ft into the Earth’s core, an estimated daily operating cost of one million dollars/per day (daily contract(~$490,000) + variable operating costs), 126 on site full time workers, a sophisticated anchorless floating Wal Mart that was able to remain within 2 ft. of its desired location via GPS and automated thrusters in the roughest of seas, still reading….and the best these trillionaires can come up with to stop the leak is by overwhelming and plugging the holes with golf balls, shredded tires and mud?!?!?!?!?!? This is more mind boggling than zip lock thinking one seal was enough when two is clearly better, think breasts, two is always better. Can’t you just see Titleist, Bridgestone, Srixon, Pinnacle and Top Flite clamoring to be the ball that saved Louisiana’s Wetlands? Certainly sales would go up a mighty 1/2% in that golf crazy part of the world. The Levee is casting a vote for Pinnacle to be the ball of hope and savior; those seem to be naturally drawn to the water, but we digress. Back to the unbelievable reality, they are trying to tell us that with all the top shelf engineers, geologists and drilling experts at their disposal, this is the best BP can concoct? Staring down unfathomable depths and overcoming unimaginable natural hurdles, you have the technology to siphon fossil fuels out of Mother Nature’s spleen at will, but to plug some leaks in a riser pipe your best idea is some Pro V 1’s and Grandma’s Goodyear white walls? What were Cuba Gooding Jr. and Bob De Niro not available? If it weren’t for the tragic loose of life, the thousands whose lively hoods are being halted and possibly derailed long term, and selfishly speaking, the toll this is going to have at the pumps this summer, this is almost laughable from a WTF perspective. Seriously, there is a catfish skinning contest this weekend in Etoile, TX, hang around long enough and you will get a bucket full of ideas far better than anything that these titans of industry have rolled out, PUN intended.
Unfortunately in today’s political/economical climate disasters of any kind are quickly transitioned into an opportunity for any number of agenda pushers. It’s a chance to move the personal meter while blatantly putting the truth and warranted compassion on the back burner. Here is an article from the supposed eye of the storm, notice how the agenda drivers literally end up victimizing the victims while feeding the miss-informed and in turn actually fashion a second catastrophe on their own. Are there going to be serious economical, environmental, political, social, emotional and mental repercussions from this? Sure, but let us not be so brazen as to think that we are that important and furthermore, that supreme. If lucky we will get 85 years to enjoy and/or pillage this planet, conversely this ocean, its inhabitants, the coast lines, beaches and marshes have been around since perhaps a big boom, Devine Creation or whatever Tom Cruise now claims. It will survive, heal and thrive again. Homo sapiens are the only collective group dense enough to see trouble and not alter their course; do you think a school of yellow fin tuna are going to errantly swim into a geyser of crude? Or a 1,200lb Marlin is going to mistake a tar ball for a bait ball? (* Note - For the sake of this piece, ignore the fact that they will inhale a plastic bullet head trailing two hooks hidden by a hot pink and neon green skirt 30 feet behind two roaring diesel engines. That doesn’t mean they are stupid, it only means they are lonely at that moment.) These species approach each day knowing they have to be smarter, faster and stronger than everything else in their world or they die. These things are perfect machines that just happen to taste damn good and far less than often do they actually get had by a lucky one of us. Perhaps some turtles might not be so fortunate, but one can only imagine in the reptilian world going down as a black gold martyr must be held in much higher regard than ending up on some goat ropers boots, or even worse perishing anonymously in Bubba’s TED-less shrimp nets. Here’s an idea BP, pull your collective heads out of your backsides and go stick them in the holes!
* If Mobile Bay and/or the Florida panhandle are in any way adversely affected by this during the first week in June, The Levee requests the address to BP’s law suit submittal office.
So let us make sure we are all on the same page here. 52 miles out in the Gulf of Mexico, 1 mile down to the ocean floor and rig head, potentially an additional 30,000 ft into the Earth’s core, an estimated daily operating cost of one million dollars/per day (daily contract(~$490,000) + variable operating costs), 126 on site full time workers, a sophisticated anchorless floating Wal Mart that was able to remain within 2 ft. of its desired location via GPS and automated thrusters in the roughest of seas, still reading….and the best these trillionaires can come up with to stop the leak is by overwhelming and plugging the holes with golf balls, shredded tires and mud?!?!?!?!?!? This is more mind boggling than zip lock thinking one seal was enough when two is clearly better, think breasts, two is always better. Can’t you just see Titleist, Bridgestone, Srixon, Pinnacle and Top Flite clamoring to be the ball that saved Louisiana’s Wetlands? Certainly sales would go up a mighty 1/2% in that golf crazy part of the world. The Levee is casting a vote for Pinnacle to be the ball of hope and savior; those seem to be naturally drawn to the water, but we digress. Back to the unbelievable reality, they are trying to tell us that with all the top shelf engineers, geologists and drilling experts at their disposal, this is the best BP can concoct? Staring down unfathomable depths and overcoming unimaginable natural hurdles, you have the technology to siphon fossil fuels out of Mother Nature’s spleen at will, but to plug some leaks in a riser pipe your best idea is some Pro V 1’s and Grandma’s Goodyear white walls? What were Cuba Gooding Jr. and Bob De Niro not available? If it weren’t for the tragic loose of life, the thousands whose lively hoods are being halted and possibly derailed long term, and selfishly speaking, the toll this is going to have at the pumps this summer, this is almost laughable from a WTF perspective. Seriously, there is a catfish skinning contest this weekend in Etoile, TX, hang around long enough and you will get a bucket full of ideas far better than anything that these titans of industry have rolled out, PUN intended.
Unfortunately in today’s political/economical climate disasters of any kind are quickly transitioned into an opportunity for any number of agenda pushers. It’s a chance to move the personal meter while blatantly putting the truth and warranted compassion on the back burner. Here is an article from the supposed eye of the storm, notice how the agenda drivers literally end up victimizing the victims while feeding the miss-informed and in turn actually fashion a second catastrophe on their own. Are there going to be serious economical, environmental, political, social, emotional and mental repercussions from this? Sure, but let us not be so brazen as to think that we are that important and furthermore, that supreme. If lucky we will get 85 years to enjoy and/or pillage this planet, conversely this ocean, its inhabitants, the coast lines, beaches and marshes have been around since perhaps a big boom, Devine Creation or whatever Tom Cruise now claims. It will survive, heal and thrive again. Homo sapiens are the only collective group dense enough to see trouble and not alter their course; do you think a school of yellow fin tuna are going to errantly swim into a geyser of crude? Or a 1,200lb Marlin is going to mistake a tar ball for a bait ball? (* Note - For the sake of this piece, ignore the fact that they will inhale a plastic bullet head trailing two hooks hidden by a hot pink and neon green skirt 30 feet behind two roaring diesel engines. That doesn’t mean they are stupid, it only means they are lonely at that moment.) These species approach each day knowing they have to be smarter, faster and stronger than everything else in their world or they die. These things are perfect machines that just happen to taste damn good and far less than often do they actually get had by a lucky one of us. Perhaps some turtles might not be so fortunate, but one can only imagine in the reptilian world going down as a black gold martyr must be held in much higher regard than ending up on some goat ropers boots, or even worse perishing anonymously in Bubba’s TED-less shrimp nets. Here’s an idea BP, pull your collective heads out of your backsides and go stick them in the holes!
* If Mobile Bay and/or the Florida panhandle are in any way adversely affected by this during the first week in June, The Levee requests the address to BP’s law suit submittal office.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Master of deceit vs. Honoring a Master
The tale of two parallel super-stars, both have mastered the same unforgiving sport, the world of advertising, endorsements, printing money, the art of charity and locking down some pretty envious eye candy. However these two titans have detoured from parallel to blaze paths in clearly opposite directions. One was willing to risk it all and be lured by the carnal thoughts of his subconscious while the other was tested like few can relate. Re-hashing Tiger’s catastrophic and sophomoric plight is beyond redundant at this point. Although more has recently surfaced, to act surprised would be foolish, but to be appalled is totally natural. The latest in an ever growing list of strippers, pancake waitresses, party hosts, D list actresses and struggling (as if there is another kind) porn stars; Tiger now has a neighbors daughter clamoring to be another name on his dubious list. In recent days Raychel Coudriet, the daughter of one of Tiger’s neighbors is claiming to have had relations with Tiger in an office within eye shot of Elin Nordegren’s home. To what extent this has legs is neither here nor there at this point, but the level to which this man felt and acted as if morals, ethics and values did not apply to him has surpassed astonishing. Now to the other super-star and the personal and painful journey he has been enduring over the past 1.5 years. Phil Mickelson was blindsided with the same force he uses to mash his Calloway golf balls 300+ yards down the fairway, when it was revealed that not only his wife but also his mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Hearing catastrophic news at this level would surely bring most to their knees, and truth be told Phil did take an extended leave from golf to handle these affairs. But what makes this so ironic is that one of these men was revered as much amongst his peers and press as he was on the links amongst his fans. While the other has often been called stand offish, unapproachable and even arrogant. While Tiger was living a double life that even Hollywood screenwriters couldn’t create, he was still the people’s champ. He was giving Payton Manning a run on commercial appearances, was sculpting a physique that every man would kill for and was stockpiling money and tournament trophies like a stray dog collects fleas. And then there was Phil battling a very public family crisis. Still wearing shirts that might be considered to tight, speaking with a frankness that could be and was misconstrued as entitled and still getting slammed by the masses. This is where the two paths actually cross, taking on vastly different trajectories than before, ultimately shedding a truer light on the mindset of two golf phenoms. Tiger went into deny, cover-up and ultimately hide mode while Phil stood strong to answer questions asked by strangers on behalf of strangers that were tougher and more personal than any one person should be required to endure. As the Masters Golf Tournament revs up, all eyes will be focused on Tiger and how he will respond to competitive golf, after failing as a father, husband and icon. But Phil’s turmoil is still very real and as it is well known that cancer doesn’t discriminate, all the money, fame and accolades can’t buy one a free pass. The Phil haters will still be around, hopefully with a sense of compassion and the Tiger fans will hope and pray for a memorable Masters from their flawed leader. As far as memorable goes, take a look at this story the next time you wish ill will on Lefty, and remind yourself of it the next time you decide to chastise him for whichever imperfection you find deplorable.
Putting so much stock in another mortal, will most times more often than not, leave one feeling empty and betrayed.
Putting so much stock in another mortal, will most times more often than not, leave one feeling empty and betrayed.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
What's in a day or what should be?
To properly give credence to this day that has given ulcers to parents, shock to employees and fear to un-wed high school boyfriends for years, The Levee has put together some real life situations that would have undoubtedly been better explained as Fools Day shenanigans, but as you will see this tomfoolery was not intended to fool anyone.
* Rep. Hank Johnson D-GA – Exerting the fear of island tipping. (Give Rep Johnson his due respect and please watch this in its entirety, 1:20 mark begins the greatness)
* After lying to the NCAA about meetings with Deion Sanders and being suspended for the rest of the season, one would think that Dez Bryant might take his self-thrown Pro Day as serious as anyone would take what is essentially a job interview. Well Dez did show up, but he forgot his cleats. That might not sound all that bone headed, but considering he is a Wide Receiver and football hinges on ones ability to out run or catch up to another man, this is the equivalent of a stripper reporting to work without her G (at a classy joint that is).
* More from the Politico front. Harry Reid D-NV, the worst thing to come out of Nevada since the Superbowl 43 point spread, shows his inability to take a task head on and proceeds to show his uncanny ability to speak out of both sides of his lying mouth.
The following will be offered without comment:
Ryan Leaf
Healthcare reform (Obamacare)
The Segway
Balloon boy incident
Tiger claiming that none of his confidants knew anything
Saved By the Bell, The College Years
Ricky Martin denying… …well never mind
All the humiliation, deceit and pain could have been avoided with one simple phrase… April Fools Day M-fer!!
* Rep. Hank Johnson D-GA – Exerting the fear of island tipping. (Give Rep Johnson his due respect and please watch this in its entirety, 1:20 mark begins the greatness)
* After lying to the NCAA about meetings with Deion Sanders and being suspended for the rest of the season, one would think that Dez Bryant might take his self-thrown Pro Day as serious as anyone would take what is essentially a job interview. Well Dez did show up, but he forgot his cleats. That might not sound all that bone headed, but considering he is a Wide Receiver and football hinges on ones ability to out run or catch up to another man, this is the equivalent of a stripper reporting to work without her G (at a classy joint that is).
* More from the Politico front. Harry Reid D-NV, the worst thing to come out of Nevada since the Superbowl 43 point spread, shows his inability to take a task head on and proceeds to show his uncanny ability to speak out of both sides of his lying mouth.
The following will be offered without comment:
Ryan Leaf
Healthcare reform (Obamacare)
The Segway
Balloon boy incident
Tiger claiming that none of his confidants knew anything
Saved By the Bell, The College Years
Ricky Martin denying… …well never mind
All the humiliation, deceit and pain could have been avoided with one simple phrase… April Fools Day M-fer!!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
It’s not the Census, but this quick questionnaire will speak volumes
As we often ask the citizens of Iraq to dip a finger into the purple dye to show that they have proudly and bravely cast votes in their national elections, knowing full and well that their lives are at sake for showing such brevity, we at The Levee think it is only fair for Americans to show their same pride and loyalty. So as you read the list below, please stick a finger in the dye for each and every bullet point below that you are either on board with, agree with or swear by. Your unfortunate score can be found at the bottom.
- The President is more black than white.
- Bill and Hillary Clinton are as much in love today as the day they wed
- John Kerry was ever in danger during Vietnam
- John Edwards doesn’t suffer from dry eyes
- John Edwards is not that child’s father
- 911 is a personal complaint line
- Emergency rooms are for common colds and simple ailments
- Sean Penn is a good actor
- An open handicap spot, it just that, an open parking spot
- 15 items or less really means 22 items
- Paying taxes is an option not a duty
- The citizens of the 9th ward were prepared
- Gtimo is inhumane
- The Government has successfully managed Social Security
- The Government has successfully managed Medicare
- Mortgage payments are optional
* Bonus question - Government has proven that the should handle Health Care
If you honestly participated in the exercise above and have even a smidgen of dye on a single digit, congratulations, you are single handedly to be held responsible for the down fall of the worlds greatest, most offering and welcoming nation. Your self assumed sense of relevance is greatly exaggerated, your ancestors are ashamed of you, and rightfully so. Pity is offered to those that act without knowing better, but nothing is offered to those that act because they feel entitled.
- The President is more black than white.
- Bill and Hillary Clinton are as much in love today as the day they wed
- John Kerry was ever in danger during Vietnam
- John Edwards doesn’t suffer from dry eyes
- John Edwards is not that child’s father
- 911 is a personal complaint line
- Emergency rooms are for common colds and simple ailments
- Sean Penn is a good actor
- An open handicap spot, it just that, an open parking spot
- 15 items or less really means 22 items
- Paying taxes is an option not a duty
- The citizens of the 9th ward were prepared
- Gtimo is inhumane
- The Government has successfully managed Social Security
- The Government has successfully managed Medicare
- Mortgage payments are optional
* Bonus question - Government has proven that the should handle Health Care
If you honestly participated in the exercise above and have even a smidgen of dye on a single digit, congratulations, you are single handedly to be held responsible for the down fall of the worlds greatest, most offering and welcoming nation. Your self assumed sense of relevance is greatly exaggerated, your ancestors are ashamed of you, and rightfully so. Pity is offered to those that act without knowing better, but nothing is offered to those that act because they feel entitled.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I don't always go to the Doctor, but when I do, I prefer to choose my own....
Stay healthy my friend. That is what should be taken away from the latest piece of legislative rubbish sent down the hill from 219 drunk on power American congress men and women. Yes that refers to the 219 Europ-a-enthusiast that voted for this socialistic health care bill that will have America sailing a course she was not destined or designed to sail. No Billy from Philly, that wasn’t last night’s hook-up passing her philly steak with cheese that, was Ben Franklin and his kite rolling over in his grave. Nancy Pelosi has been showing excitement over this victory ever since she blew herself into the highest position in the House of Representatives. Or perhaps that was just many face lifts gone bad? Ironically the man that made health care reform his “life’s work” while in the Senate, Ted Kennedy is not going to be healthy enough to enjoy this moment. Rude, out of line to say such a thing, you might be saying? Well hey, put the double whopper with cheese down and become educated. This is the same Teddy Kennedy that left a campaign helper and professional secretary Mary Jo Kopechne to die in his Cadillac as it lay at the bottom of a tidal channel on Chappaquiddick Island, Massachusetts, that’s a water way for you new healthcare reform beneficiaries. Glad to see people’s health and well being has always been a high priority for the “Liar of the Senate.” So to all you honey bun eating, grape soda sucking, supersizing, diabetes inducing, cottage cheese smuggling, dumbo-ear underarm dangling, compression sock wearing, no feet seeing derelicts, congratulations your day of appeasement has arrived. And even better for you drains on society, from this dreadful day forth stints and lap bands are on the house! Pity to those that feel emboldened by unearned handouts and who have blindly been rejuvenated by benefits without perceived recourse. Today is a sad day for all of those who were taught to work hard and earn what they got. Today America has taken a stunning turn back towards the government meddling and dictation that our founding fathers willingly fled from Europe for, over 240 years ago. Again congratulations to all of you that lent a helping hand in guiding the USA backwards, relegating her to just another lamb in a flock of wolves. An environment of enslavement is being created, not a buy, sell and own type slavery, but a dependency type slavery that latches on to an institution that in reality only looks out for itself. A servant type society that is ruled by the premise of letting just enough of the good scraps fall from the table to keep one hanging out beneath the table to sit and wait for what is next. Franklin Roosevelt established vast social programs to embolden a great people of a great nation because it was pertinent to the times; the social programs being railroaded down our throats today are to create a social divide, a class system, where over time one group becomes dependent on another. Tears should not be shed for us, but for the WWI, WWII and Vietnam generations of Americans that refused to backtrack to the pack and concede to status qua. It is without doubt that their sacrifice has now been officially declared done in vain and without appreciation. Today we have become what we fled, a hand-out not a hand-up society.
All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
- Thomas Jefferson
Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
- Thomas Jefferson
Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
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