It’s not the Census, but this quick questionnaire will speak volumes

As we often ask the citizens of Iraq to dip a finger into the purple dye to show that they have proudly and bravely cast votes in their national elections, knowing full and well that their lives are at sake for showing such brevity, we at The Levee think it is only fair for Americans to show their same pride and loyalty. So as you read the list below, please stick a finger in the dye for each and every bullet point below that you are either on board with, agree with or swear by. Your unfortunate score can be found at the bottom.

- The President is more black than white.
- Bill and Hillary Clinton are as much in love today as the day they wed
- John Kerry was ever in danger during Vietnam
- John Edwards doesn’t suffer from dry eyes
- John Edwards is not that child’s father
- 911 is a personal complaint line
- Emergency rooms are for common colds and simple ailments
- Sean Penn is a good actor
- An open handicap spot, it just that, an open parking spot
- 15 items or less really means 22 items
- Paying taxes is an option not a duty
- The citizens of the 9th ward were prepared
- Gtimo is inhumane
- The Government has successfully managed Social Security
- The Government has successfully managed Medicare
- Mortgage payments are optional

* Bonus question - Government has proven that the should handle Health Care

If you honestly participated in the exercise above and have even a smidgen of dye on a single digit, congratulations, you are single handedly to be held responsible for the down fall of the worlds greatest, most offering and welcoming nation. Your self assumed sense of relevance is greatly exaggerated, your ancestors are ashamed of you, and rightfully so. Pity is offered to those that act without knowing better, but nothing is offered to those that act because they feel entitled.

I don't always go to the Doctor, but when I do, I prefer to choose my own....

Stay healthy my friend. That is what should be taken away from the latest piece of legislative rubbish sent down the hill from 219 drunk on power American congress men and women. Yes that refers to the 219 Europ-a-enthusiast that voted for this socialistic health care bill that will have America sailing a course she was not destined or designed to sail. No Billy from Philly, that wasn’t last night’s hook-up passing her philly steak with cheese that, was Ben Franklin and his kite rolling over in his grave. Nancy Pelosi has been showing excitement over this victory ever since she blew herself into the highest position in the House of Representatives. Or perhaps that was just many face lifts gone bad? Ironically the man that made health care reform his “life’s work” while in the Senate, Ted Kennedy is not going to be healthy enough to enjoy this moment. Rude, out of line to say such a thing, you might be saying? Well hey, put the double whopper with cheese down and become educated. This is the same Teddy Kennedy that left a campaign helper and professional secretary Mary Jo Kopechne to die in his Cadillac as it lay at the bottom of a tidal channel on Chappaquiddick Island, Massachusetts, that’s a water way for you new healthcare reform beneficiaries. Glad to see people’s health and well being has always been a high priority for the “Liar of the Senate.” So to all you honey bun eating, grape soda sucking, supersizing, diabetes inducing, cottage cheese smuggling, dumbo-ear underarm dangling, compression sock wearing, no feet seeing derelicts, congratulations your day of appeasement has arrived. And even better for you drains on society, from this dreadful day forth stints and lap bands are on the house! Pity to those that feel emboldened by unearned handouts and who have blindly been rejuvenated by benefits without perceived recourse. Today is a sad day for all of those who were taught to work hard and earn what they got. Today America has taken a stunning turn back towards the government meddling and dictation that our founding fathers willingly fled from Europe for, over 240 years ago. Again congratulations to all of you that lent a helping hand in guiding the USA backwards, relegating her to just another lamb in a flock of wolves. An environment of enslavement is being created, not a buy, sell and own type slavery, but a dependency type slavery that latches on to an institution that in reality only looks out for itself. A servant type society that is ruled by the premise of letting just enough of the good scraps fall from the table to keep one hanging out beneath the table to sit and wait for what is next. Franklin Roosevelt established vast social programs to embolden a great people of a great nation because it was pertinent to the times; the social programs being railroaded down our throats today are to create a social divide, a class system, where over time one group becomes dependent on another. Tears should not be shed for us, but for the WWI, WWII and Vietnam generations of Americans that refused to backtrack to the pack and concede to status qua. It is without doubt that their sacrifice has now been officially declared done in vain and without appreciation. Today we have become what we fled, a hand-out not a hand-up society.

All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
- Thomas Jefferson

Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

Micro-machine mayhem and Funbag Fondue!

For those that are having problems with their Prius’s, actually let us back track, for those having their second problem with their Prius, for the first problem was clearly deciding that it was a good purchase. We have this to offer. While seeing video footage of grown men zipping helplessly down the highway in a shoe box with wheels is both scary and intriguing all at the same time, The Levee wishes no ill will or harm on anyone, unless they are personally acknowledged by specific name or group affiliation. But we digress; The Levee has assembled a list of helpful hints to stop that pesky TOYota PriUS.

- Knock the hamster off the wheel.
- Remove any one of the three AA batteries.
- Just ride it out until the pull chord retracts back into the vehicle.
- Cover the solar panel.
- Quit running forward, a la Fred Flintstone, and dig your heels in.
- Drop a canoe anchor.
- Simply open the door and step out.
- Find a speed bump.
- Dismantle the flex capacitor.
- Start thinking about what color Ford Focus you want next.

And from the disgustingly crossed the line file we offer you Peta’s new Vegan Velveta. Is it okay to sh!t your pants and act a toddler after you eat this, or are you still required to act like an adult and use the head?