I’ll start by saying there are a lot of things in this world that interest me and have caused me to think and think some more. Whether it’s my cows or my college football, there is plenty of subject matter in between that at one time or a thousand has kept me up at night and again caused me to think and think some more. And so it begins…..
Tea Parties: I’ll start here b/c it’s pretty fresh and relevant.
I watched a bit of the coverage from the numerous Tea Parties that took place yesterday and wanted to share a few of my thoughts.
Thoughts:
Sean Hannity better enjoy having the rest of his life watched and wire tapped.
Keith Olbermann makes me want to weed-eat naked and do my ironing in a pool!
ESPN’s College Gameday has changed the way people will make witty signs forever! And God bless them for that.
John Rich has been growing that mustache since he was 12, when his mall-touring pop career flamed.
Neal Cavuto should be more aware when some disgruntled camera grip is rolling video on his/her I-Phone.
I think Rachel Maddow had a tranny sitting in for her last night on MSNBC. [edt: 4/16: correction it was indeed Rachel]
I paid my taxes yesterday, and it was neither a pleasure nor a joy, but you know what is a pleasure and a joy:
- Having my trash picked up weekly weather it’s in my can or asleep in my lawn.
- Having cops patrol my streets. I jog in a Polo as not to be harassed.
- Having fire fighters to put out fires possibly even in someone’s front yard trash barrel.
- Having roads that are navigable and not riddled with pot-holes or dead bodies
- Having a city pool, where if I need to get out of work, I can swim at and catch some infectious something in no time.
One last story that’s fairly relevant and then I’ll let it rest for a while.
4/10/09 – Shreveport LA.
It’s a Friday a Good Friday at that, I’m going to mow my lawn and have it looking sharp for the Easter weekend. I was threatened HE wouldn’t rise if the yard wasn’t mowed when I was little, so it’s become an annual deal for me. Anyways while mowing, making my turns, going counter clockwise, I find it beneficial to alternate week to week, to give every side of the blade adequate sun coverage through the growing part of the week. Forgive my tangents, they occur often, deal with it. A man pulls into my driveway and waves me over to his nice pick-up, very much like this one here http://www.dodge.com/en/2009/ram_1500/. I look at this guy, who is smoking a cig using the hood to support himself wondering if he is serious, all the while still holding my mower that is running. After a quick assessment of the situation I realize that this cat might have a heart attack if even the thought of doing something to me tried to traverse his brain cells, so I proceeded to hear the sorriest most pathetic plea I’ve heard for…. well anything. Sometimes if I do something I know I shouldn’t, like getting multiple samples from the same lady at Central Market by simply wearing my hat in the two traditional ways (forwards and backwards, to old to try the sideways thing) and no hat at all, I hear it from my conscious all day. This jack must have traded his conscious in for lotto tickets or something, because he didn’t hesitate to take a drag and then ask for the world. Here’s a short version of the conversation that ensued.
Not so Marlboro Man: Hey man you got any car batteries or anything?
Strapping Lawnboy: What?
NSMM: You got any car batteries that I could have?
SL: Car batteries?? Besides the ones running my cars, no I’m fresh out.
NSMM: Well I tell you what I got some lights for the yard, how much you give me for them?
SL: I’ll give you nothing and tell you what you can keep your lights.
NSMM: Alright man the deal is I’m down and out.
SL: You don’t say?
NSMM: Yeah I got 8 kids, 4 of them got me down for child support, and I just need some gas money, you know.
SL: Yes, I know, see that mower that is running over there, it uses gas too and right now it’s wasting a lot of it.
NSMM: Man the God would bless you if you could help me out.
SL: Hey, that’s a good angle on this most Holy of Days and weekends.
NSMM: Naw man it ain’t like that, I just need some money to get gas and what not.
SL: That sure is a nice truck for some needing a handout so badly.
NSMM: Yeah it was a gift.
** We talked for a few more minutes about the gift of the truck and I told him how I always found it better to give than to receive etc… Yes as you would expect he didn’t agree with that ideal and pretty much laugh/coughed tarry lung filth all over me for thinking giving was better than getting!!
SL: I tell you what, I’m not giving you cash, but I do have some frozen meat that your kids would like and it would feed all of them for a few days, how’d that be?
NSMM: Well, if that’s all you got I guess.
I found myself wondering if that venison every made it to its intended target. I hope it did. We might have a better idea next November if I see a sweet metallic orange Dodge pulling up to Academy letting out 8 little meat eaters all heading in to get hunting licenses because of their new found fondness of wild game. For some reason the blaze orange I see in their futures won’t be trimmed in camouflage.
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