I wish the delay in updating could be blamed on a potential levee break due to rising waters, but as we all know that free fuel from above called rain has been doing its best Stacey Peterson and staying well out of sight (This is not the opinion of The Levee, solely based on statements made by current incarcerated husband and all around complete ass hat Drew Peterson, tell hitler and saddam hello when you get down there you spineless puke). I digress. Unless of course you were trying to get in a few rounds at Beth Page Black this past weekend. I mean seriously, we already have to endure Tigers temper tantrums, Johnny Miller’s holier than thou commentary, idiot yanks yelling “get in the hole” after every drive on a par 5, but then we have to sit threw rain delay after rain delay, never knowing who was playing which round or which cheek Lucas Glover was hiding his chew in. Not until Bob Costas crawled down from Al Roker's lap did I realize it was over. Actually once Phil starting gagging on the finishing holes I realized the end must be near.
So when it’s raining cats and dogs, funny people like to say “it’s a good day to be a duck!” What about when the heat index is 105 and the nearest rain is on the west coast of Maui, what do those wise asses say then? “Good day to be a radiator repair man?” I say this as I stare at my Aquafina bottle sweating like a (something derogatory) doing (something that takes intelligence) and marvel at the fact that someone somewhere decided to take a free natural renewable resource package it in an environmental cancer and sell it for huge profits. From a capitalistic/entrepreneurial standpoint it’s pure brilliance, but I wonder how that poor natural spring in Arkansas is able to supply the demand. Me thinks at some former Nike manufacturing plant in Thailand the sewing and glue machines have been replaced by little water faucets and a boat load of Brita water filters. Regardless, I will continue to purchase the cheapest bottled water available at every gas station I stop in, mainly because I don’t like to be chastised in a foreign language for using the facilities without spending a dime.
I saw that Steve Jobs, co-founder and CEO of Apple, is back on the job after a hiatus that turned out to be a health issue that ultimately required him to undergo a liver transplant. They said that in his absence Apple stock dipped as much as 11% at one point, with weary investors not sure of the company’s future without Jobs on the job, that was too easy. Anyway a few thoughts about the investors thought process from my perch atop the levee.
1) Do you see how many people have I Phones? Pretty sure that secret isn’t locked away with the original coca cola recipe.
2) How can a country so technologically superior, full of supremely educated people and investors with such deep pockets be mindlessly steered by the presence, or lack thereof, of one man? [Edit: 6/23: See most recent presidential election for answer.]
3) If Apple stocks were negatively affected by Job’s liver woes, then shouldn’t the converse effect have been seen on these stocks? ABI.BR, TAP, SAM ??? Buy buy buy!
Finally a few recession proof jobs for those that might have found themselves in a pinch under the current state of affairs.
- Manufacturers and retailers of anything that can be made in purple and gold with LSU printed somewhere on it.
- Apprentice criminal defense lawyer for the University of Texas athletic program.
- Crack dealer
- Any job with Welch’s Soda. Especially those in the grape division.
- Lower back and fraternity tattoo removal specialist.
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