And as promised, here’s some college football for you. These are some of the “not so” headlines that might have made your local gazettes 5th or 6th page in the sports section. None of these stories should affect any actual games, but none the less they are all true and, well, entertaining in some capacity.
Notre Dame – A group of former golden domers and one slobbering ex-coach took on Team Japan recently. In football, and even more surprising…..they won! Not so much the who, when and where, those answers are all provided, But WHAT and WHY???? What’s next is Notre Dame going to invite a pro-abortion politician to speak at graduation?
SEC/Florida – Media days in the SEC is a cross between Cirque Du Soleil and the first round of American Idol tryouts, on one hand you have immense talent and ability and on the other you have communities and individuals with backwards priorities, unrealistic expectations and a warped since of reality. Sit back and enjoy the train wreck. So the clouds part and Tim Tebow descends to sitteth at the right hand of Urban Meyer. Things are going as normal as one would expect, knowing that it is SEC media days, and then a question comes from the back asking Tim, considering his rock star status on the Gainesville campus, if he has been able to resist temptation and maintain his Jessica Simpson pre-Nick Lachey status. You could’ve heard a microscopic camera drop out of a small hole drilled in an adjoining hotel room wall, when he finished asking the question. But Tim being Tim, he grinned and let the world know, that yes he has and that he still fully intends to wait. Good for you Tim, shame on the idiot that would ask a college student/athlete this kind of question.
SEC/South Carolina - Then there was Steve Spurrier, who was the only coach not to have Tim Tebow as the pre-season SEC 1st Team QB going into the season. He claims it was an oversight by a staffer, but we think maybe the fellow/former Gator QB and Heisman trophy winner does stuff like this all the time to carve out just a small space in the head of his opponents. He has had some classic quotes in the past like:
* When asked about how he felt being in "Big Orange" country by Tennessee reporters, Spurrier replied: "I thought this was Vanderbilt country."
* Questioned the abilities of Head Coach Phillip Fulmer of Tennessee "You can't spell Citrus without UT" and former Tennessee quarterback Peyton Manning "I know why Peyton came back for his senior year: he wanted to be a three-time Citrus Bowl MVP"
* Spurrier Poked fun at a fire that burned 20 books at an Auburn University football dorm, saying “But the real tragedy was the 15 hadn’t been colored yet!”
* After a blowout win over Kentucky in 1996: "These sort of games don't prove very much. All it proves is we're better then Kentucky."
And many more zingers.
Texas A&M – As if 4-8 weren’t bad enough, the Ags recently had their football complex and locker rooms broken into. Turns out the perp was more than likely a disgruntled former team member. No charges were filled; I guess they figured the shame of loosing to Arkansas St. was punishment enough. Note to remaining team members: Yes we want that ass-whipping mentality back, but more the, I’m going to rip your lips off and talk shit to you with your own mouth, versus, I’m going to sneak in under the cover of dark and sprinkle protein powder around a locker room floor! COME ON!!
North Dakota State – 4 DUI’s and 2 possessions w/ intent to sell in 6 months for the Bison football team, no wonder they almost became extinct. According to NDSU Student Orientation Director, Laura Oster-Aaland, North Dakota leads the country in binge drinking at all ages. With players and fans like that, game day must rock!
Tennessee – The Vols have had a rash of summer injuries, including 4 impact offensive players that will have to miss part or all of the upcoming season. Coach Lane Kiffin wanted to visit with the newest strength and conditioning coach to make sure it wasn’t a result of overtraining. He was assured it wasn’t but, this could clearly be karma and a direct result of Coach Kiffin’s recent over-talking instead.
There will be much more college football talk in the near future. Whether it be legit newsworthy stories or the highlighting of poor decision making by young college athletes or coaches. You can bet you’ll get an unfair and biased opinion here at the levee.
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