North:
Kansas – If they can just survive two-a-days, you can’t dangle that much muscle and meat in front of Mangino before he snaps and fulfills his internet prophecy. I think one practice a day would be safer, especially for the linemen, all that marbling they got going on. Reality is in a weak north, with a returning starter at QB in Todd Reesing who is 20-6 in his career; KU should be the favorite to represent the north in the Big XII title game.
Kansas State – The Wildcats in a move that some consider odd, have enticed Bill Snyder away from The Villages, you know Florida’s friendliest hometown, to give the coaching thing another shot. Not to say it’s a bad idea, he did lie, cheat and steal that program into 10-12 years of relevance, but he had some good assistants that time around. Guys like Bob Stoops, Mike Stoops, Jim Leavitt, Brett Bielema and Mark Mangino. So that’s were big game Bob learned his evil ways. Reality is the Manhattan Kansas Luby’s just picked up two more regulars in the Snyders, and the only big replacement on the team is QB Josh Freeman. As of print time Carson Coffman was penciled in to replace the NFL bound Freeman. And we all know if Coffman doesn’t work out, the Texas High School for the Slow *but athletic probably has some no name QB on the raise, I say no name, b/c he can’t remember his name either.
Iowa State – Lot’s of change in Ames over the past 12 months. The head coach, that used to be the DC at Auburn, returns to Auburn to be head coach and is replaced by the most recently let go DC from Auburn. Summary: Auburns defense is a bastard and Saban has them very scared. Reality is Iowa State has a powerhouse wrestling team year in and year out. Oh and the nation’s longest road losing streak, 17 games. Please don’t break that on Halloween in College Station.
Missouri – Chase Daniel and his buggers have left town, unfortunately we won’t be able to sit down for a Mizzou game anymore and watch 3 quarters of the Daniel family in the stands. Reality is Daniel, Jeremy Maclin and a host of others have departed Columbia, leaving some big holes to fill for Gary Pinkel and crew with only 9 returning starters. Pinkel did shore up a multi-year multi-million dollar deal based off the success of the stubby legged Chase Daniel, do you think he’ll share any of that when the undrafted Daniel gets cut by the Redskins and goes back to Southlake working at Edward Jones?
Nebraska – I was really hoping Neb would jump on board with K-State and bring Osborne back to the sidelines, but Tom’s not dumb he knows Tommie Frazier ain’t walking through that door anytime soon, plus he’s a congressman, so basically he’s getting paid to be retired, boy that must be nice. Thanks baby boomers, thanks for nothing. Reality is it’s year two of the Bo Pellini era, he has done what was expected in tightening up the defense, the blackshirts aren’t completely back, but they are a far cry from the pink popped collar Polo shirts they were the several years before his arrival.
Colorado – Memo to Buff fans the Football season is about 2 months away. And then you get about two months of it before the lifts open. Now I know some of you are hardcore and don’t need no stinking lifts, and will skin up the back country early, but for the rest of you transplants that thought Boulder would be a totally rad place to live in and go to college in, at least show up to games, you’ve got one of the greatest stadiums in the country, an exciting young RB, a coach that loves to yell (especially at his shot put throwing QB son) and it’s always cold so bringing in booze in the parka shouldn’t ever be a problem. Leave the lasers at home and try not to have an entire section ejected this year, that wasn’t cool it was embarrassing. Reality is that Darrell Scott is a great young RB, and finally this year the O-line is healthy going into two-a-days.
South:
Oklahoma State – T. Boone Pickens stadium is complete and is a real piece of eye candy. Problem is Pickens Plan didn’t really catch on as expected. The wind farm in the Texas Panhandle is still on paper and in dreams. Rumors circulated that his $165 million dollar donation was tied directly to his hedge fund which was tied to the wind farm, and we all know how that probably worked out. So when Boone Pickens Stadium looks half full every other Saturday it might be because half of the seats are PVC and card board facades. And like good soldiers the OSU administration will publically call out Poke fans for not filling the new stadium, all in an effort to save face with Oklahoma A&M’s only famous and successful alumnus. Reality is expectations have never been higher for coach Stalagmite and all the returning playmakers he lied too. If Zac Robinson has healed from the beat down he took from Oregon in the Holiday Bowl, he should have a good year throwing to phenom and Texas A&M lock Dez Bryant.
Oklahoma – If it’s true that certain parts of the body continue to grow as men get older, ears, nose etc. then Bob Stoops huevos are about the size of cantaloupes heading into the ’09 season. Problem is his confidence and successes in big games are conversely the size of corn kernels. With the sting of the very hard and mean slap on the wrist from the NCAA, over the Rhett Bomar being blatantly paid by boosters, now completely over with, the Sooners can put the past behind them and begin learning to defend every trick play ever scratched in the dirt of every sandlot/trailer park in Oklahoma. Reality is Stoops got a stroke of good peyote mumbo jumbo from the medicine man when his Heisman Trophy winning QB decided to pass up $15 million guaranteed in the draft and return to OU. Bradford returns along with a host of other NFL caliber talent to field what will once again be a team that has BCS championship aspirations. That second weekend in Oct. in Dallas will tell the tale as far as the south goes. Sounds like a great weekend to get married in Houston!
Baylor – I hear they use real flakes of fools’ gold in the paint for the BU helmets. Some Baylor Line girl told me that when I complemented her turtle neck under her jersey at a game last August. We spent the second half talking about dancing and other perverse topics, including BU’s football legacy. Art Briles has done a heck of a job in Waco; they haven’t pulled in talent like this to Waco since Dave K. opened that summer camp out in the Waco country side a few years back. What a loyal group that was, sticking with their commitments, those kinds are hard to find these days and an even harder kind to get to leave their camp cabins. Reality is Briles has one of the Big XII’s best young talents in Robert Griffin on campus; he personally accounted for most of their wins last year and kept them competitive when they should not have been. Are Baptist allowed to bowl?
Texas Tech – Questions abound in Lubbock heading into 2009, unfortunately most of the people there aren’t good at answering questions. How to replace a two year douche and Arena Football bound Graham Harrell or college great, NFL mediocre Michael Crabtree. One thing is for certain, there will be 5-6 little white guys doing the 5 man weave up and down the field on every offensive play again this year. What “system QB” will Capt. Vince Gill double chin plug in this year is anyone’s guess, that’ what they do best in Lubbock, just guess. Reality is the Red Raiders are coming off of the best season in the history of that program and they were rewarded with a 3-way share of the divisional conference championship (T-shirts were made) and a once in a lifetime, eye opening, dreams coming true, trip to Dallas to play in the Cotton Bowl. Where they were embarrassed by a middle of the road SEC team. New QB, team’s hangover from what could have been last year, coaches daily hangovers, it could be more than the techsters are able to handle. Still put money on them holding serve against the Aggies on the high plains this year. It is their superbowl.
Texas – In Austin they don’t re-build, they re-load. Why build a new bong when the old one works just fine. Just re-load it. Regardless of off the field issues, Sergio Kindle once again proving that he is a threat to QB’s, pedestrians and highly visible permanent structures, or Jordan Shipley’s 6th year of eligibility, so he and Colt can hit their favorite bass fishing honey hole for one last Fall, or the presence of another McCoy on the Texas sideline, don’t look to long you might go ugly. Reality is the Horns are loaded with talent and have a gutsy QB to lead the way. If they can establish a running game early in the year and not allow teams to completely focus on Colt it could pay big dividends as the season progresses. Look for the Red River pie eating contest to determine if the BCS is in their season’s future. Actually since that game was just for practice last year, look to see if Blake Gideon has been learning to catch the football this year versus last year (1:50 mark).
Texas A&M – Somewhere today in Texas, Dennis Franchione just had large direct deposit go into his bank account, courtesy of TAMU, for services not rendered. And somewhere last fall, the Arkansas State Red Wolves made a nice deposit as well, courtesy of TAMU, for coming to College Station and allowing the Aggies to beat up on them in front of a sold out Kyle Field, well not exactly. Reality is Sherman and his staff are standing at the bottom of Mt. Everest trying to figure out how to get Sherman onto his lama, while all the neighbors (Texas, OU, LSU) are shot-gunning beers and grilling brats at the summit. The talent is improving, the Ags have some of the best skill position players right now that they have had in a while, and all are young. If Sherman and his Eggies (:55 mark) can continue to improve defensive speed, recruit, coach-up and keep healthy above average offensive linemen, the Aggies could start to see positive improvements as soon as this year, once they get through the gauntlet of non-conference foes like New Mexico, Utah State and UAB. Fingers crossed Ags.
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